The Birdie Wheel of the Year Book is Available NOW!

It’s true! Cuteness abounds, adventure awaits, and the TwoLoveBirds are at it again in this lil’ picture book!

I wish I had quotes from big-frilled people to tell you how awesome and adorable this bookie-book is. But I don’t. I’ve showed it only to my team at Evergreen Crossing, and my wife. Both are a little biased in their love, I think.

But just look at this wee picture!

Again, as usual, if you are splendidly broke and wishing for a pdf version for your children, feel free to contact me. I will gladly give it, in exchange for some sort of promotion or a review.

As for me, well, life has been hard lately. Really, super-duper, hard. I’ve had to drop out of Woolston because of lack of functioning due to life issues. I’m getting my meds revised, too. Overall, I’m keeping my chin up, and the worst patch is over. But, still, it’s like a grieving with waves of ups and downs (or so my social worker tells me). Right now I’m on an up, but I foresee dark places for the next few months. Especially around the upcoming Christmas.

On the upside, I am still able to write (yay!) and am working on a new romance novel that tackles mental health issues. I will keep you all posted with updates eventually!

Much love to you all, and thanks so much for your continued support. It means the world to me ❤

May her Memory be a Blessing

I’m not going to pretend to know much about RBG. I vaguely knew her as an American judge who was badass and defended our rights. But now, I have a feeling similar to the night of the 2016 election. Something ‘bad’ has happened, and it’s going to affect many lives. Especially the LGBT, especially the minorities.

I ask that you mourn with us the death of a champion of LGBT rights, a brilliant woman who was also a Jew. Please respect her religious beliefs and don’t say ‘RIP’ or similar religious statements. Comfort each other, and keep up the fight for our rights. Vote, get out there and do your part. May her memory be a blessing. ❤

Birdie Book!

Me and my fabulous team from Evergreen Crossing have gotten quite seriously underway for this latest project – so I’m so so pleased to announce that *drumroll* I’m going to be releasing a book on the Wheel of the Year!

Just look at dis pictah!

Doesn’t it just give you all the squees? All the happy fuzzy feels? Yessss.

I don’t want to say too much yet, but it’s about the Wheel of the Year, it’s featuring the birdies, and it’s adorable and has SO many FUCKINGLY cute pictures in it. I know that there’s a lot, because I’ve done a ton and there’s still TWENTY fucking TWO left to do. And it’s cute because, yeah, birdies.

So yep, lots of work done, lots more to do, and that’s about all I wanted to say today.

I hope y’all are doing well. I’ve been struggling, but I’m managing to keep my head above water, and that’s what counts. So take care all, and I wish you all the best ❤

ANOTHER DREAM!!! (SPOILERS)

Lo! Be-holden! Y’all know that when I mention dreams – character lives are about to be fucked up, haha.

And that holds true for this time! For (LO!) I had a dream wherein (drumroll) a certain character woke up in the wrong body. As in someone else’s body. As in – they didn’t die. As in… am I far enough down that the preview won’t show this writing? Becauuuuse -> Kuryo’s story might be making a comeback, y’all!

Now, trust me, no one is more sick of the loop-de-loops of that story than I am. I’m almost ready to just chuck the whole thing from the tip-top most of a tower, but hey. I’m stubborn and I really like Kuryo and Chaos as characters. I keep telling myself (as in, today) that at worst this is all just more rough drafting and * eventually * it will make some sort of sensical thing. I hope. I really, really, hope.

I mean, I really like those characters. It’s just – the story derails from me and I feel like I get lost in the plot. If only I could finish the damned thing, sort it all out, and make it make sense. I’m sure it would be a blast, once it’s properly polished! But, I derail myself.

What happened in the dream? What can we expect? Well, the jist of the dream was ‘Kuryo wakes up in someone else’s body and has to deal with adjusting to that person’s life’. Like, wow. Not too drastic considering his story. But it would mean he wakes up in another of the five Kuryo’s bodies. And does it mean the evil stabber gets his powers? I considered that last night, and it came to me in my sleep that she (the god-slayer/stabber of Kuryo) would appear, and make attempt #2 at the whole murdering thing.

But in the meanwhile, there’d be this whole ‘Kuryo adjusting to his new life’ phase, which I honestly thought could be cute and charming. Or it could be boring. Either way, there’s a new girlfriend involved, university life, and a whole ‘was that real or did I dream that whole thing while I was in a coma?’ thing.

What else has been happening in my writing life? I had an idea the other day (while being unable to sleep) that it could be really fun to write a gay romance, with the main character having schizophrenia. So the next day, I sat down to try and write it. But (LO!) the main character was not schizophrenic but rather had DID (ba-dum-tiss!). Which, if you know about them, they are completely different things. DID is pretty badly seen, so after debating to myself about whether I’d write it or not, I figured ‘what the hell’ and asked around if anyone I knew had DID to help me as a reference. Well. Almost 6? 7? people came forward from various groups I’m in to offer and help. So now I feel like I should write the book, just because these people seem to want it. Or at least they want to help write it. So, I’m going to be trying to write that, which is really daunting, to say the least. A big challenge!

Speaking of challenges (my last point of the day!) I apparently succeeded in my portrayal of an intersex character! I won’t tell you the details, but there is an intersex character in my latest Farfadel novel, and my sensitivity readers LOVED them! They said I aced my representation. SO I’m feeling pretty capable and happy. Honestly, I know portraying an intersex character is not the same as a mental illness/disorder, but it makes me feel like I can manage. It makes me feel powerful, in an author-y sense.

Oh, and (the real, really, final last point) – I have a sort-of manager now! I found a fellow pagan who was willing to help me advertise and market myself slowly, along with some merch to go along with my stories, and so … hopefully there will eventually be a more organized version of me as an author? I probably won’t say too much about this, as it’s rather private, but I am excited to get help organizing myself! And wouldn’t Farfadel merch be great? Imagine the possibilities!

Anyways, that’s that. I really hope y’all have a lovely day/evening ❤ take care y’all!

Old Mother Frost

Hey everyone! This is a promotional post for a fellow pagan who’s launching (or has launched?) a pagan children’s book! Check it out and support them!

Here’s the info:

Bio
Old Mother Frost is a Yuletide book based on the pagan origins of the holidays. It is based on ancient tales of a German goddess who predates most of the popular characters of Norse mythology.
Although Pagan Kids began as a book project, since May 2020 it has evolved into a larger resource for Norse pagan children. Now the website, pagankids.org, offers everything from free printable activities and mini lessons for kids, activity planning ideas for the family, and quick and in depth articles based on many related topics.   

For fun facts based on the history of the Old Nordic people, their lifestyle, traditions and mythology, follow @PaganKids on Facebook and Instagram. 

About the Author
Jennifer Hartman, the author of Old Mother Frost, is also the creator of @PaganKids; an online resource full of simple and educational material based on Nordic folklore, beliefs, mythology and history. Goals Pagan Kids began as a book project covering the Norse pagan origins of Yuletide. Jennifer Hartman wanted a Yuletide book for her kids encompassing the general feeling of warmth and magic the holidays bring, while basing it on the Nordic origins and traditions of Yule. Not finding anything available, she sought to write Old Mother Frost, a humble and inclusive book for all children. The goal of Pagan Kids is to provide free missing resources for children based on the Norse pagan culture and mythology. The Project Old Mother Frost is a Yuletide story of an ancient Norse goddess who sleeps all year long, waking only to make sure children are happy, healthy and festive during the longest and coldest nights of the year. The official launch date of Old Mother Frost is November 13, 2020; but you can pre-order now and until October 23rd and make sure your hands on a copy before Yuletide starts!

Order it on Indiegogo here: indiegogo.com/project/old-mother-frost

Links

Launch Video: https://youtu.be/yqnRLfOdsCA

Website: pagankids.org

Pre-Orders: indiegogo.com/projects/old-mother-frost

Facebook: Facebook.com/pagankids

Instagram: Instagram.com/pagankids

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/pagankids

Patreon: Patreon.com/pagankids

Woolston, Writing Farfadel, and Life

So life has been peaceful as of late, but I’ve still been tired. Sleep has been difficult, and I’m not sure what to do about that. Yet good things have been happening!

I am FINALLY enrolled (just waiting on an email to go through -It’s all paid for!) in my first year at Woolston!

Woolston is (as far as I know) the only Wiccan seminary that’s official and government recognized (except for maybe Cherry hill?). I’m so far 100% impressed by their kindness, professional demeanor, and quality of their activities and events.

So, having finally gotten in and managed to set up my payments, I’m so excited! It’s happening! I am (hopefully) on my way to become a certified Wiccan priest!

I am so pleased. So happy. Now I have to order the books then ah! It’s going to start! I’m so excited for in-depth material and discussions!

I am somewhat more relaxed about my teaching gig. I’m coming to terms with it, and really hoping it won’t fray my nerves too much. The thing is, I know that I technically have all the abilities and knowledge to do it properly, but will I? It’s stressful. I think I can manage it, however. It’s just a question of diving in, as I was told (via the song) in a recent meditation – Into the Unknown!

So, I just have to let go and do. Just stop stressing and do it.

Which I am trying to do. I’m trying not to worry about the logistics of my spirituality and just practice. Just do what feels right for me. Just write what I want to in the way I want to.

Hence, I haven’t been working on Lage’s Game. The story was stressing me out. Too dark for now. I’ve switched back to Farfadel, and I find it much easier to write in this state.

Which brings me to the part about dinosaurs. Yes, dinosaurs in Farfadel. That’s the entire premise for this story, and I think it’s, oh, maybe a year or so old? It’s incredibly fun to write, but everyone I tell the story to is… shocked? Dismayed? It’s like I’ve broken some unwritten rule in writer’s land by mixing fantasy and dinosaurs.

Well, fuck that, because I think my story has come out fabulously. It’s 48,000 words done, which means I have roughly 12 ish thousand more to go. I can’t wait to see how it’s going to end, honestly, and I’ve started trying to paint a cover picture for it. Hopefully it won’t be too dark of a cover, but we’ll see! I think I’m breaking another rule by putting my villain on the cover, haha.

But oh well! I’m very excited to be finishing this story. I’m doubly excited to hear what you all will think of it (I think I’m going to post excerpts here to celebrate).

Anyways, that’s the end of my long update. I wish you all the best, and truly hope you’re all doing well. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten around to reading as many blogs as I would have liked to, but as usual, tag me if you really want me to read something.

Have a lovely evening/day ❤

Life Update – Teaching!

Yes, that’s right! I have a job! Teaching!

I have been lucky enough to land a job teaching at a local pagan school – ‘Runes et Magie’. I’ll be teaching about Discernment! Yayyyy!

I am so excited for this (sorry if I’ve already told y’all, I can’t remember if I have yet or not)! I have been working SO much on the course, putting it all together and making a PowerPoint presentation to go with it and making an exam and all that good stuff. It’s exactly what I want to be doing – so it should be a good thing, right?

Well, yesterday, I spoke with the head of the school about my class. She was super nice. It went super well. After hanging up with her, I almost called a hotline, I was so wound up. So anxious. So, so, upset at myself for my minor fixes that I’d noticed needed to be done in the course. It was awful. I received another call from a relative, again a positive thing, and I could barely hold it together. I was a wreck. I sat down to watch TV for several hours, and the room began to spin. I had to lay down almost two hours early from my usual bedtime.

Today, I was no better. I woke up to care for the dogs, fed them and took my medication, then went back to bed until 4 pm. I literally spent the day in bed because I felt so fragile. Now, after taking a walk with the wifey, I feel alright. I can still sense the fragility there, but I’ve got a lid on it now.

All that to say that – I can barely do this teaching thing. I think I can, but only because the lady in charge is SUPER NICE, and that it’s something I LOVE doing. My anxiety about it is just ready to slip out of control and to sink me all over again. But, I think I can do this. I think if I’m careful, keep myself calm and rational, I can do this.

I may not be having as much time to write, though. I’m not sure I still want to post my writings here, even. I – I am not sure how I want to balance my author and teaching sides, actually. I am giving up on writing as my main source of income, and deciding to relocate it as a passionate hobby. I just don’t think I’ve got what it takes to be a full-time author, no matter how much I like it. I’m just not ‘breaking through’ to a yuge audience to make a zillion dollars. That being said, I still want to write. I still want to draw. I love getting feedback and talking about my story with people. But … How will I do that? How will I balance the writing and teaching? Blah. I’ll figure it out.

Anyways, I wanted to give y’all a little update. I’m anxious, but life is going very good! Hopefully you will still keep getting writing posts from me, or at the very least life rants. I hope you all are doing well ❤

Author’s Rant (SPOILERS)

So how have I been doing lately? How is life, how is everything?

Life has been treating me very well. I have even had the opportunity to get into natural ink making. The results of which I’ll attach to this post. I feel so privileged to be able to live in a little patch of nature and have access to ink making materials! I really love sketching with ink too, it takes so much more thinking and precision.

But this post is called an author’s rant. So, what do I have to rant about, in an authorly way?

Well, I hate to sound like a broken record, but I only have half an idea where the story is going. As usual, the story is winding up, growing more and more complex, and I’m just sitting back baffled, like, wondering if this beast is going to bite me or not?

To my surprise, I am enjoying writing this story. It is dark, I can’t write it every day, but I feel like it is still fun, still something worth doing. The violence of it still surprises me though!

Now, if you’ve been reading along you’ve hopefully started to notice something happening in our (still unnamed!) main character’s mind. Namely, she is in the process of having a part of herself take over.

This will come out a LOT more in the next part (which I have just written today, but will publish the next time I write). Remember the whole ‘who is she? Maybe she’s an ancient?’. Well. The ancient is there, and the ancient is on a mission!

Now, and here is the Big Spoiler, the ancient in particular is Anat. Who? Sumerian goddess of war, anyone? Read up on her, she’s pretty bloody, passionate, but striving to establish peace. I just realized this today, while writing out the scene where she really ‘comes through’. And now I’m all… hmmm… where is this going? How will I make this a nice and cohesive story?

I don’t want this story to wind on as long as Kuryo and Chaos’ story did. That’s just a bit too long and winded for me. i want this one to maybe be, just, a trilogy maybe? Something nice and neat like that.

Anyways, I’m also trying to work on a new birdie book (on death!) as well. I’ve been told that I am breaching topics that are maybe too philosophical for kids, but I have others that say that those topics are necessary, even for very young kids. So… I feel conflicted. I’m far from an expert on children, but I love illustrating with the birdies!

So that’s my update of the day, lovelies. I wish you all a great day, and much love your way. Take care ❤

Fighting Depression with Birdies…

I got really depressed lately. The best way I found to cope with it was to draw cute lil’ birdies. So I doodled around on my computer, frustrated as ever with the whole ‘analog to digital’ mess wherein I can never get my pictures to show up quite right on digital, and digital is never quite how I want it to be. But then! Hark! I did a drawing that I super-duper liked on the computer!

It was that picture that I drew first, and I love it. I drew several more, all equally fuzzy and happy-hearted. The trick was to use fuzzy brushes and aim for fuzz instead of clean (I usually try and make my drawings and pictures as neat as possible), as well as go absolutely minimalist. I’m wondering what to do with them, as I love them so very much. I think they’d make great holiday/event cards, personally!

But, all that to say that I’m doing better. I’ve had dreams about my stories, friends come visit, and I’m back up on my feet. I have an inundation of medical appointments, but I am coping well now. I have a friend who is supposed to teach me how to make natural inks from my garden, too! Above all, I feel my head is back over the water. I feel mentally okay.

But then, sometimes, I wonder what to do with myself. I feel like I am not a ‘good enough’ author. Recently, I feel like I should get myself published. But to do that, I’d have to make the birdies more ‘generic’, as no pagan publisher will take on a children’s book (Yes, I’ve asked). But I don’t want to make them generic. I want them to be pagan, that’s what all their stories are about – they’re pagan stories. But is it worth leaving them as pagan birdies? Parents and children who have the book love it, but I’m not sure that anyone actually wants it. Is it my marketing, or am I just not in the right field?

Same goes for Farfadel and Lage’s Game. I feel like I ‘should’ get a publisher, but do I have the energy to cope with one? Does anyone want lgbt fantasy novels for children? I feel like no. I got turned down by indie publishers, and seeing that they are more children’s books than adult books, I’m not sure what publisher would want them.

Maybe I’m still just a depressed author, but I love my stories and love interacting with people about them. I want people to read them and them to be a ‘success’. But… I don’t know what I should do. In my heart, I’ve always wanted to have the freedom to do whatever I want, but wanted the ‘stamp of approval’ from being published by a publisher.

Sorry for dumping, but that’s what’s been going through my mind. Lots of questions about my writing, though I’m still plentifully enjoying the writing process. I just – I question myself.

Anyways, I wish you all lots of love. Have a great day ❤

More Updates!

Hi everyone! I’m sorry if I worry you, but I’m still not well. I think it’s because yesterday I had to call a victim’s advocacy group in order to try and get myself psychotherapy… Long story short it was stressful. Anything to do with the past is stressful for me.

The worst part is that I know that it’s ok. It’s just a phone call. I can see the connection between it and the past – and yet I still get all worked up and anxious and can’t stop myself from experiencing it. Ugh.

Writing helped. Talking helped. Painting digitally helped. But I’m still fragile. It frustrates me so much to see that the past still affects me so much, nose-diving me straight into an anxious mess.

Oh well. Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and kind thoughts, I appreciate them. I sincerely hope that you all are doing well and that you and yours are safe ❤ lots of love.

I’m dropping here a picture that I worked on today. It’s not perfect but what the hell, I like it. It’s of Rebella, who I’m sure is going to be super important in the story and an utter pain for our MC (who still needs a name).