Depression and Cute Mushrooms

Depression sometimes feels like it gets the best of me.

It leaves me crying in the shower. It leaves me feeling like no one loves me, like I dont matter.

I’m not sharing this because I want attention. I just want you to know that sometimes a kind word can go so far. I want you to know that, despite it all, sometimes our spirituality, a belief, can give us something to hold on to.

For me, what helped today was my birdies. It’s a small thing, and may seem so pointless to so many. Very few seem to care about my birds. Im far from a ground breaking pagan author. Yet they matter to me. They help me see, in some way, happiness again.

Thats all that matters with art, really. The joy and happiness it brings us.

Im sharing this picture, hoping it can bring you some happiness too. May you always have a cute mushroom to sit under, dry and happy, from the rain.

All Hail the Fire Lady!

She’s the occasional kidnapper, occasional heroine, but more than often always fiery – It’s the Fire Lady of Farfadel!

Why yes, her magnificence has now graced the page in … watercolor? What an odd medium for her!

All joking aside, I’m super pleased with how this painting came out. The Fire Lady is one of my most beloved characters in Farfadel (I would get messages from reader friends like “IT’S THE FIRE LADY!” when they finally met her in the pages), and I feel like I managed to capture her changeling personality in this piece. It may not be perfect, there are certainly technical errors in it, but I am allowing myself to be pleased!

But who is the Fire Lady? As I said, occasional kidnapper, occasional heroine. A friend of mine suggested ‘chaotic neutral’ and I find that suits her perfectly!

In a more technical sense, the Fire Lady is the youngest of the Great Ladies at the time of the ‘Tale of Two Queens’ and the ‘Tale of Adelaide and Shadow’. She was an apprentice to the Great Lady of the Mountains, but caused sufficient havoc to become her own Ladyship. How exactly she gained that title is still disputed, and has yet to be written.

So that means there is much mystery to her still! How did she romance her beloved Oracle? Why is she always fighting with the Fairy chief? And why oh why does she not hand out magical goats any more?

So much mystery! So much left to discover! And I am SO pleased to say that I am working on a trilogy of Farfadelian shenanigans with her -> her eminence the Fire Lady <- at the center of it. She isn’t the main character, but her character arc fuels the plotline like a gasoline trail. But maybe one day I shall write a tale with her as the main character! That would certainly be fun. Maybe a whirlwind romance, a tale that is tugging at my mind lately…

Anyways, I will return to painting portraits of my characters. I wish you all the best! Fellow writers: do you have any chaotic characters? Do your readers like them? Do you?

Feeling Better Slowly…

So today I managed to do an array of things, among which was (drumroll) painting!

Yall, I’m working on a tarot deck, and it’s going to take me forever to do, but I’m loving it. Its adorable, cute, and aimed for children.

I know, children and tarot? Who will buy that? I dont know, and I dont quite care. I love what I’m doing, and I think it’s going to be a good deck.

So, I managed to do some writing and painting today, mulling over some advice from my wife about adding texture in and whatnot. Which, resulted in the below picture.

Y’all, it’s unfinished, and its from Ranger’s story, which I am still working on in the background.

Anyways, I’m not sure what else to say, apart from thank you all for being patient with me. I’m finally getting back on my feet, and I’m really looking forward to getting to do more gardening and writing (I did a teensy bit of gardening today!).

I would love to be active in the social rights movement (Black lives matter, loss of lgbt rights in the states, etc) but I just cant. I can barely upkeep with my showers, so please, forgive me for not being that active. My heart is with the protestors and all who are struggling, but I just cant right now. I need to put my own facemask on first, to try and be useful later on, which sucks.

Thank you for sticking with me. Much love y’all ❤

Happy New Year!

Happy new Year everyone! I’ve been away from the keyboard and surfing the real world over the holidays.

What? Surfing? I mean, trudging through the snow. And shoveling snow. You see, here in Canada… they had to bring the penguins in from the cold (because they are domesticated and not as hardy as their wild counterparts but STILL. Penguins, y’all!). So I’ve been really busy baking, whipping up goodies for everyone during the holidays… and promptly swearing off sugar due to health issues that are beginning to arise due to a diet based upon sugary treats.

So… what does this have to do with anything? Not much, I’m afraid. I have some great blog posts coming for y’all wherein I dissect, dramaticize, and go on and on about Wicca and mental illness. But for today I am still too tired to get into that so I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year and the best of everything for the coming times.

Oh, and I have to announce that I’m finally joining the trend… I’m making myself a bullet journal.

Ohmahgawwwds, guys it’s just a really organized journal. But yes, here is mine that a really good friend of mine gave me over a year ago (and I’m only starting using it now?!).

And here is my sooooo organized desk (not)

Y’all, I am falling in love with watercolor crayons. I mean, the cuteness and beauty can just explode with them!

Will I show you what I make with them? Hmmm… maybe some day!

Until then, happy new year!