So Much Change!

There is just so much change and movement in my life!

I am newly single, getting into a job training program, freshly moved, getting gender confirmation surgery, and so much else! I have a hard time fathoms how much has changed, and how well I am coping with it all.

Now, I have started a new medication, risparidone, which has been doing wonders. I feel like I have a calculating head again. Or at least I had. In the past two days my anxiety has been kidnapping my brain again and now im worried that I’ll backslide all the way down to brain fog again.

But I dont think I will. I think I am doing well, that I am coping well, and that things are moving properly in the right direction.

I have so many plans. So much hope. I am hoping and praying it’ll all go well. There’s so much I want for my books, for myself. I am so grateful for my health getting better.

Anyways, this was a little update, friends. I hope yall are doing well, and that you and yours stay well 💗

Unhinged… The Vlog?

Hi everyone! I’m happy to announce that I’m hopefully going to be doing mental health videos.

It’s been a little bit that I’m wondering if I’ll get back into my mental health blogging, and I think I will. But I really want it to be a positive thing in my life, and to come from a positive space, not to be a grumpy rant. So, as YouTube videos have been a fun thing for me, I’m thinking of doing those, as well as some written blog posts.

I’m thinking of discussing technical aspects around mental illness and spirituality. I’m really hoping that these videos and posts can be educational and resourceful for people, especially those suffering from mental illness.

Hopefully I’ll have some guests who can come onto my blog and discuss some stuff with me, so if you have a mental illness/mental health issue and you want to talk about it within a spiritual context, let me know!

If you have topics you’d like to suggest, or things you’d like to see me talking about (not researching, I don’t feel like researching, just talking from a personal perspective), let me know!

Wishing you all a very lovely day, and hoping you’ll like these videos! ❤

A New World~ Lage’s Game: Chapter Eight Part One

By ‘home’, Lage had meant a hut, really. It was just a bulge of twigs and leaves among the snow and trees. I suppose he was trying to be nice, taking me to his home. There, he had said in the brisk walk over, he would make me a good hearty stew.

There was to be no stew.

Before the hut stood several figures. They were conspicuously not made of stone though they stood as still as it. They were alive, and that was to be trouble.

There was one woman, tall with onyx skin like pearls, bearing a white fur cloak and hood that draped to the ground. Beneath, I caught glimpses of a green dress and metal accents. She bore a staff that was sculpted and carved intricately. The way she held her head and stood gave off a sense of royalty.

To her left and right were guards in medieval tunics and cloaks, complete with shields and swords drawn.

Lage muttered something unintelligible under his breath as we stepped from the trees into the small clearing before the hut. Reaching out an arm, he drew me slightly behind himself.

“Lage,” said the woman with the white cloak. Her words were icy.

“Rebella,” said Lage cautiously, tilting his head downwards not so much respectfully as carefully. “What can I do for you?”

Rebella did not answer, her eyes flickering to me then back to Lage.

“There has been some trouble,” said Lage slowly.

Rebella’s lip curled. “As usual. The bonds ought to have been severed centuries ago.” With a nod to her guards she said “Kill the girl.”

“No!” exclaimed Lage, drawing his sword and punting me behind him with a swipe of the leg. I fell over, tumbling into the snow.

“You don’t want to do that!” Lage was saying as I scrambled back up to my feet behind him.

“Oh? I’m certain I do,”said Rebella with a sneer.

“I will tell the Queen, and you – you will suffer the consequences!” Lage barked.

Rebella sneered again, but seemed to reconsider. “Card collectors cause nothing but trouble,” she said to me “And they have no rights here.”

“Unless they are invited by a card bearer,” said Lage. “I invited her! She is a guest between worlds. You cannot deny that! Would you cause a war between worlds for your vanity?”

Rebella moved to the right, so gracefully I was entranced. Her eyes were fixed upon me in utter disdain. “There has been trouble that you know not of,” she said icily. “I think we ought to kill her.”

“Whatever trouble, I doubt it’s her fault! Don’t murder a child!”

There seemed to be a light behind Rebella’s eyes. “Her soul is hardly young.” But she gestured to her soldiers, who had drawn their swords. “Put your swords away.” To Lage she said “The Queen is ill.”

“The crown will not pass to you,” said Lage slowly, wary as he lifted his hand from his sword.

Rebella sneered. “I would not be here if I’d done the poisoning. No, rather,” she reached under her cloak and drew a pouch out from her belt. It was of soft brown leather, but held something clunky and pointed within. She waved it before herself. “Guess.”

Lage made a sort of shrug. “The Tael poisoned an arrow?”

Rebella laughed. “I would not want a card collector dead if so.” Ruefully, she drew the pouch open and drew out a black handgun. Lage gasped. A shudder went down my spine. ‘They’ were here. It had to be. Were they everywhere?

The gun was tossed to the ground between us. Lage jumped back and I flinched. “Be careful with that!” Lage muttered.

“The worlds have been crossed,” Rebella said angrily, glaring at Lage. “Murder has been attempted – on our Queen no less. War must be declared. A line is to be drawn between us, and them. Make your choice, Lage.”

I looked to Lage, then Rebella.

Lage heaved a breath that misted out between us. “They are after the child as well. They murdered her family. She,” he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Is one of us.”

“’Us’?” Rebella asked pointedly. “You think she can join? That I would permit that?”

Lage hesitated. “Her soul is old, like you said,” he started.

Rebella lifted her eyebrows in an angry question.

Lage looked down at me. More hesitation.

“Say it!” barked Rebella.

“She has an ancient soul, is all I’m saying,” said Lage in an obvious fib. A smile played on his face. “What more can I tell you? I think she would be an asset. To you. To this kingdom.”

Rebella’s gaze narrowed. “Who is she? The Fool? The Emperor? Tell me, and I might let her live.”

Lage rolled his eyes. “Not all old souls are known to you. Besides, I-” he hesitated again. Then, shaking his head, he continued. “She is but a child now.”

“I don’t care!” yelled Rebella. “If I want her dead she will be dead!”

Anger surged in me. A tingling came over me and I decided that Rebella, for all her grace and beauty, was my enemy. For all my admiration, I wanted to murder her.

Rebella’s eyes landed on me. “Do you sense that?” she asked. Lage nodded, looking down at me glumly.

“She is an ancient,” murmured Rebella in awe. Greedy awe. Stooping over, she peered even more at me. I wanted to punch her.

“Maybe an Annunaki,” suggested Lage playfully, and I felt he was gambling with something, or goading her on.

“Shut up!” Rebella snapped. “You wouldn’t know them if one punched you in the throat.”

Lage sighed and squeezed my shoulder. “As a matter of fact, I think I have been punched by one-”

“What part of shut up don’t you understand?” barked Rebella, straightening. With a nod, she ordered her guards. “Take the girl. I’ll keep her.” With a sneer to Lage she said “Mine now.”

Lage lifted his hands to his shoulder in a ‘not my problem’ gesture. Then, eyes widening, he stooped over me and, cupping a hand to hide his mouth, whispered in my ear “Don’t tell her you ate my card!”

The next instant, the guards were dragging me away from him. “What did you tell her?” Rebella was shouting, marching up to Lage.

Lage held up his hands to his shoulders. “Not to make you angry. That’s all.”

“You wish,” hissed Rebella before whirling around and marching away into the trees. The guards followed, hauling me along by the arms. I took one look back, and Lage waved miserably at me.

Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez on Pexels.com

Kayla’s Finale ~ Lage’s Game, Chapter Seven Part Two

Kayla took the bottle and pressed it against the side of her head. The man looked to her, and I watched them both.

“What is Gwenevarnia?” asked Kayla, sounding, as she herself would put it ‘tired of this shit’. “Is it some gang territory?”

Lage leaned across the table, palms pressing into it so hard his hands turned deathly white. “This is not about gangs. This is beyond them. This is about worlds.”

Kayla just shook her head. Lage turned to me. “Do you know what I am talking about?”

I held my silence. He shook his head and turned to Kayla. “Do you know that there are other worlds within the tree of life?”

Kayla’s eyebrows raised. My heart skipped a beat.

“I come from Gwenevarnia,” he repeated. “That is another world. This one is named Argv-”

“Another world?” interrupted Kayla. “Are you mad?”

“I am not!”

“Of course he’s mad. Whey else is he dressed like that?” I asked, daring him to reveal more. Show us what he could do by disbelief.

He looked from Kayla to me and then back. “I swear-”

“Prove it,” snapped Kayla.

“Why else do you think all this is happening?” he demanded, leaning across the table again. Kayla recoiled with a crinkled nose.

“Her father got messed up in gangs. That’s all!” She waved a hand at the man. “You’re messing with us.”

“I-”

“Get out!”

“I swear-”

“Out!” Kayla lifted the vodka bottle as a weapon.

The man scowled, brow creasing. I rose to my feet. “Wait.”

Both adults stared at me. I sat back down now that I had their attention. “How do we make them stop?”

The man hesitated, still in his seat. “I do not know. They usually get whatever they want and,” he paused, looking to Kayla. “That means they usually don’t stop. I’m sorry.”

Kayla cursed under her breath. I looked to the man. “Prove yourself.”

“What?” he asked, eyebrows raising at my command. I glared him down with all my inner power.

“Prove Gwenevarnia exists. Prove that you are not mad. Prove it!”

He leaned towards me. “The card you ate – it has special powers. You will not be well until we have another one crafted. If we can.”

“That proves nothing,” I said staunchly.

He closed his eyes with a sigh. Then, when he opened them – had they always been brown? I startled. Kayla frowned, eyes narrowing.

No one heard the man arriving from the living room until the gunshot blew through Kayla. Blood spattered across Lage and I gasped, terror and ice seizing me. It was like needles in my skin, shooting through me.

One of the goons was in the entryways to the kitchen, gun in hand. Lage was seizing me by the wrist and dragging me to his side. Kayla was laying across the table, gasping as she clutched at her bleeding chest.

I realized that I loved Kayla very much. She had tried her best for me.

Our eyes met. Then she looked to the man. “Take her and go,” she hissed. The man nodded. She seized the bottle of vodka. Spinning, she lunged and threw herself at the goon. He yelled, the gun firing. A large hand covered my eyes, turning my head and crushing me into the green cloak. There was a smash of glass thudding and shattering – and then nothing.

The hands slowly lifted from my eyes. Around me, pine trees stretched. There was the tinkling sound of a stream. A cool breeze wafted over us. There was snow on the earth, just a thin sprinkling of it.

“Kayla,” I said, trembling but not from the cold. Kayla.

“She may yet live,” the man said from behind me. His hands squeezed my shoulders protectively. “But now you are safe. That is the important part.”

I stared ahead, unmoving. Or no – I shook. The cold began to nip at my fingers. A section of the cloak was wrapped around me. “Here,” he said, pressing me against himself. With a fumble, he drew the cloak off himself and began to wrap it around me.

In a fit I threw him off, flailing at the thick fabric. “I don’t want it!” I screamed, spinning to yell it at him.

He seemed shocked, maybe hurt. Then he softened. “Alright,” he said, drawing it back around himself. “But we have some walking ahead of us.”

“I don’t want to!” I hissed. “Take me back!” Once more, anger began crackling over me, rising like heat in my veins. I felt the power, the adrenaline, surging. I was going to destroy something. The hacking with the knife? That would be pithy little once I had my hands on the one who had shot Kayla!

He lifted two hands to placate me. “No. She wanted you here. You are safe.”

I shuddered, a sob tearing through me. I doubled over, feeling sick. The world swam. When it stopped, heavy hands were holding my shoulders.

I looked up. He smiled unsteadily at me. “My name is Lage,” he said gently.

Something clicked in my head. I squinted at him. “I ate your card.” But not ‘his’ in that it belonged to him, ‘his’ in that …

“Yes,” he said, eyes shifting blue once more.

I looked around. Behind him stood a tall stone, a standing stone of sorts. There were inscriptions on it, and I recognized it as the image on the card I had eaten. I stared at it. He turned, placing a hand on the stone while watching me. “This is my menhir,” he said. “Our version of the cards.”

“The cards?” I felt all this information, the implications, swirling within me.

He seemed to pity me. “Let’s walk,” he said. “My home is not so far.”

Wherein Nothing Gets Explained At All ~ Lage’s Game: Chapter Seven Part One

“The police are coming,” said Kayla hastily, looking from the medieval man to the man on the floor

The goon began cackling. “Think that’ll stop us?”

Kayla’s face turned into an angry, closed, shape. To me, she turned and said crisply “Get another shirt on. Wipe that blood off your face.”

The sirens were getting closer.

“Go!” she ordered. I ran.

Over the unconscious men, I raced up the stairs, then into Kayla’s bedroom. It felt like an eternity as I dug out a shirt, raced to the bathroom, and wiped my face down. Then, I changed.

When I ran back downstairs the goons had been moved out of view of the door, stacked into the living room. They were all unconscious now.

I skittered into the kitchen just in time to see Kayla wipe the blood off the counter. Blood I had drawn with the knife that was now in the sink, water running over it to wash it clean. The medieval man was nowhere to be seen.

Knock knock. The police had arrived at the door.

Kayla turned around “Where is he?” she whispered.

“He’s gone,” I said, looking around.

Frowning and not understanding, Kayla went to the door. There she put on her best smile and opened the door.

“Nightmares,” I heard her say. She gestured me over, and I glumly walked near the doorway. The police officer was blonde and blue eyed, and had a big frown on. Kayla began going on about how my mother had had this accident and I was staying with her for now.

The cop left, frowning deeply.

Kayla kept that smile on, marching into the kitchen. Out came the vodka, and the green man was at the table now.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” hissed Kayla at him. “Do you always disappear like that?” She poured out a glass of vodka and drank it straight. Then she eyed him, looking around the kitchen. “Where did you go?”

“In Gwenevarnia,” he said stoically, hands resting on the table. His eyes flickered from Kayla to me, and I sensed… apprehension. Like he was looking at something dangerous. Kayla? No, me. I was the dangerous one.

“So,” Kayla set down the vodka. Then, rethinking things, she offered it to the man. “Want some?”

“No thank you,” he said softly.

Kayla poured herself another drink. Then, she sat at the table. “I want to know what’s going on,” she said.

I joined her at the table. Oddly, the man was on the right, Kayla on the left… and I had taken the head of the table. It felt prophetic somehow.

Indeed, the man looked heavily at me. Then, he turned to face Kayla squarely. “How much do you know? You are the girls guardian now, I suppose?”

Kayla nodded. “And I don’t know anything.” To me, she turned. “Do you know anything?”

I didn’t answer. I stared from her to the man. What was I supposed to say? Was he worthy of trust? Was he – would he cause more trouble? Was it betrayal to mother and father if I told him of the board game?

My silence took too long. He returned to looking at Kayla. “There is a board game.”

Kayla glanced to me. “Wasn’t that – you were talking about that once?”

The man nodded. “She ate a very important card.”

Kayla frowned, nodding. Again, she glanced to me. I waited in silence, hands folded in my lap and back straight. I silently dared the man to say something new. Tell me something I didn’t already know.

The man hesitated. Again he looked to me. “How much do you know?”

I held my silence. Instead I tilted my head to the side. He wanted to be sure not to tell me more than I already knew? Well, two could play at that game.

“How much do you know?” I asked tartly.

He smiled in a flicker. “How much did your parents tell you?”

I held my silence again. He looked to Kayla. “There was a boardgame.”

“So? She ate the fucking card, it’s over with! What more do they want?” Kayla burst, her words slurring slightly. She ran her hands through her hair, messing it while trying to smooth it back.

The man frowned. “It was a very important card. It possessed – powers.”

Kayla squinted at him. The man let out a breath. “The boardgame was magical.”

Kayla squinted some more, tilting her head to the side, like one of them was a chimpanzee doing a magic trick. The man looked to me. “You ate something very precious.”

“Sue me,” I snapped.

“Yeah, well, okay. She did. So now what?” Kayla reached for the vodka bottle. The man took it gently from her grasp and set it farther away.

“Now, is entirely up to you. You are her guardian. She can come with me, into my world. I could keep her safely,” and he hesitated. “Until the situation calms down somewhat.”

“What situation?” asked Kayla. “Who are these people – who would hurt a kid over a fucking card?”

“A precious card,” said the man.

Kayla shook her head. The man continued. “You need to take her somewhere safe. They are after her. She will have inherited the cards’ powers.”

“Powers?” Kayla had dropped her head into her hands and was now peering out of them at him. She looked at her rope’s end.

The man looked to me. “You feel different, don’t you? Since eating the card?”

I didn’t answer. He raised his eyebrows. Then, reaching under his cloak, he drew my rabbit out from his side. He presented it to me with a smile.

I glared. I’d purposefully left that rabbit upstairs when the goons arrived. How had he gotten it?

Kayla caught her breath. “The rabbit on the front door. Was it you or them?”

“Me,” the man said calmly, adjusting in his seat to face Kayla again as I hugged my rabbit.

Kayla looked at me, her face crinkling in disbelief. “How did you-” she looked at him. “Do you work with the police?”

The man smiled. “I’m from Gwenevarnia. Not the police.”

Lage’s Game ~ Chapter Six Part Two

There was the sounds of several pairs of feet entering the house. Kayla and I looked to the stairwell, and then when we looked again the green man was gone.

Kayla, beer bottle in hand, stepped out into the hallway. She was shaking all over and white like a sheet. As the footsteps approached, she turned on the hallway light.

In the stairwell, several men in suits and ski masks stared up at us, like deers in headlights. Dangerous deer. One minute, they were shocked, the next they were all anger and venom.

“Well, this changes things,” said the first man, who had one eye patched up.

Kayla took a deep breath. She lifted her beer bottle. It looked piddly and pointless. In a flicker I realized my keys were about the same, but I felt so much more than Kayla right then. I felt ready to burst out of my body. I was brimming full of power.

Stretching out my arms, I rolled my head and shifted my grip on the keys. Here I come-

“What’s this about? Is it money?” asked Kayla. “I can pay you to go away.”

The men stopped. They looked at each other.

“Do you want a drink?” asked Kayla bitterly. “Why don’t we talk?”

“Lady, you don’t have enough money to understand what’s at stake here,” said the patched up gangman.

“I understand kidnapping,” said Kayla angrily. “It’s usually about money, isn’t it?”

The men hesitated. Kayla continued, voice trembling. “You can go find another kid, how about that? Go pick on someone else.”

That made them shake their heads. “It’s got to be her,” said the patched up goon, taking a resolute step forward. “So move aside, woman.”

Kayla braced herself, beer bottle pointed forward. “You stinky shit-”

“Don’t touch her,” said a man’s voice behind me. I spun and the man in the medieval cloak was there, appeared and fresh out of thin air. He was directly behind me and Kayla, but he reached and placed a hand on my shoulder. “She’s just a child,” he said solemnly, staring down the kidnappers.

“Who the fuck are you?” demanded the one-eyed jerk.

“Who are you? And what claim do you have to her?” asked the man in green.

“Oh, feeling smart, are we?” snarled the talkative goon. But he wasn’t advancing.

“You know who I am,” said the man behind me. “Now tell me who you are.”

There was a pause. “They’re here to kidnap her!” snapped Kayla shrilly, pointing at the kidnappers. “Her dad got in some mess – and now they want her to pay for it!”

“She ate the card!” spat the one eyed goon. “She will -” and he stopped himself, chowing down on his anger.

“Yes, she ate the card,” said the man behind me, softly.

Kayla was looking from one man to the other. I felt anger boiling in me. “What card? A credit card?”

“No,” shouted the angry kidnapper just as the green-cloaked man said it too, softly. The kidnapper seemed to have made his mind up. He drew a knife from his belt. “Step aside!”

I bolted forward.

The goon stepped back in shock. I darted past him, slashing my keys on the side of his stomach. There was a digging feeling, and I was whizzing past them, down the stairs.

I was yanked to a stop, my shoulders grabbed from behind. I spun, slashing with my keys at anything and everything.

There was a smash of a beer bottle crashing into the head of the man who was holding me. He stumbled back, tumbling down the rest of the stairs. I bolted again, down the stairs and darting across the living room.

I made it to the kitchen, where I yanked a knife out of a fancy set on the counter. It was a steak knife. I spun, bracing myself.

There was the sounds of swearing, and the kidnappers tramped across the living room. I was trapped in the kitchen as they filled the entryway, the one with the patch in front.

“Don’t touch her!” intoned a voice from behind, along with the sound of feet marching over.

“You take the idiot, I’ll take the girl,” said the patched guy to his co-goons with a nod of the head.

“Don’t you dare-” said the medieval man as the other kidnappers turned to face him.

“Come at me!” I heard myself scream, crouching with the knife.

I was afraid. Terror and anger mixed in my veins in a dangerous cocktail. I braced as the man took one step. Another step. His blue eye was glittering with menace and vicious delight.

I stepped back and snatched another knife from the set. This one was a cleaver. Two-handed, I braced again.

The man was approaching slowly. His knife was gone. He was here to catch me, not to kill me.

The kitchen seemed silent. I heard only my blood roaring in my ears. I saw only the man stepping so slowly – then he darted forward.

One of my hands was grabbed, my right. I hacked blindly with my left as the other hand grappled at me. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Anger was overflowing, bursting from me as I saw red.

Crack! A baseball bat smashed across the man’s head. The grip on my hand vanished and he crumbled at my feet. On the other side of him, Kayla was breathing heavily, bat in hand. Beyond, the medieval man was rushing over.

At my feet, the man stirred, blinking widely.

Finish the kill, I thought on instinct. Slit his throat and avenge yourself.

I switched the cleaver to my right and was dropping down to grab the man by the head to deal my finishing blow- but I was hefted up by the arm. The medieval man, again.

“Don’t,” he said. “You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

In a surge I knew I wouldn’t, for I hadn’t regretted any of my other kills – other kills?

I shook myself, wondering where that thought had come from. At my feet, the goon was groaning and trying to sit up. The medieval man put a foot on his chest, and his weight with it too. The goon grunted, eye bulging.

Far away, there was the sound of sirens approaching.

“My Name Is Chaos”: Chapter Three Part Two

I honestly don’t have much to say here except -> Thanks to everyone who reads and leaves comments! They totally make my day! Look forward to (possibly) some sketches of the (not so) fabulous trio coming soon!

///

Beyond the fire and flames, things calmed down ridiculously fast. No, there was no helicopters chasing after us. Not even cars. We were just zooming away through the hellish pine trees, skidding over the snow. The worst we encountered was a small snowdrift across the road.

“Are they not coming after us?” asked Thor, checking the rear view mirrors obsessively.

“Actually, I don’t think so,” said the scientist oh so calmly from the back seat. “We are in vampire territory, after all.”

I turned around in the seat and looked at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“It means that they can’t just send helicopters and armored vehicles into vampire land without it appearing as an invasion. So we’re technically safe,” he said with a cold smirk.

Thor gave me an ugly look. “You’re really dumb?”

I jabbed a finger at him. “Now lookit! I’m just not well versed in social affairs! I’m really good at – at -,” and there I floundered for a moment. I was far from the best fighter out there. I wasn’t the best magician. “I’m really good at art,” I mumbled dejectedly. The splattery kind.

Thor snorted. “That’s the kind of thing that won’t get you far in life.”

“So you wouldn’t classify yourself as a good fighter?” asked the scientist, drawing out a notepad from his pocket and scribbling at it.

“What are you doing, taking notes?” I gawked back at him. He nodded.

“Helps me remember. Now who would you classify as a good fighter?”

I snorted. “Ever gotten into a scrap with an archangel? Michael’s a good fighter.”

“Hmm, I see,” more scribbling ensued. “And should we be expecting to see those anytime soon?”

“Of course not!” I snapped before thinking. The Archangels stayed all stuffily in their holy world. The rest of us – well we just needed to fix this little problem. I folded my arms and sat back into my seat, refocusing. I had to get this done. And if we were heading into vampire territory, then things were going surprisingly well. “Hey, you two are going to help me out, right? I’ve got something I need to do.”

Scientist McNerdynerd took off his safety glasses and pocketed them. “And what would that be?”

I looked at Mark pleadingly. “You wanna help?” I fairly whined.

“What is it?” grumbled Mark.

I grinned and propped my feet up on te dashboard, feeling super proud and important. Becau-use… “I have been chosen to close the portal that the vampires are trying to open.”

“They’re trying to open a portal?” asked the scientist.

“To where?”

“To Hell, of course,” I said with a drawl. “They’re going to bring all their friends out here on earth. And maybe start Ragnarok by cracking open a seal that brings forth jesus’s ugly lamb-side.”

“Ragnarok?” asked Thor, eyeballing me. The scientist scribbled hastily away.

“Of course,” I drawled. “But we’re going to stop it. So no biggie.”

“Wait a minute, you’re just mixing hell, Ragnarok, and Archangel Michael together,” growled Thor. “You can’t just-”

“Oh yes I can,” I sniggered, lifting my pentacle pendant to nibble on it.

“Am I to assume all mythology to be accurate in some form?” asked the scientist as he scribbled away.

I shrugged, holding up my pentacle before myself. It glinted in the moonlight. There was no rule against divulging to humans what they already knew, was there? “Sure,” I said nonchalantly. Then, after a pause I said “Ancient mythology. There isn’t any great flying spaghetti monster.”

“And why,” the scientist started, but Thor cut him off.

“And who are you? Huh? Vampire spawn?”

Oh right, he didn’t know. Lazily I brushed my hair from my face. “I’m the grim reaper’s child.”

Another angry glare. “And so?”

That – was not the response I’d been looking for. Grovelling? Anyone?

“I’m the grim reaper’s child!” I fairly yelled. “A little respect here?”

“You’ll find that lineage bears little weight in contemporary Canadian culture,” said mister nerd in the back seat.

“Lineage is important!” I snapped, glaring from one scowling Thor to the nerd. “It gives you your powers!”

“And Lucifer went from angel to bad guy,” snapped Thor. “So go shove it!”

“Lucifer’s pretty cool,” I grumbled. “Or do you mean Satan? Both pretty cool.”

“Should we be worried about meeting them-”

“No!” I yelled, turning on him. What, didhe want the whole cavalry to show up? This was not some experiment! “Look, this is a relatively discreet thing – we don’t want everyone to show up. It’s just me, and now you two as well. Okay?”

“Closing a portal?” asked the scientist. “That sounds fairly simple.”

“Where is this portal?” growled Mark.
I gave him a cheesy grin. “Where else? In the middle of vamp-land.”

“The latitude and longitude middle, or the theoretical middle? Or the middle of their largest city?”

I turned around in the seat and glared at him. “Which do you think?” I asked saucily while my mind raced. Now that he mentioned it… I’d always just assumed ‘the middle’ meant the middle of their largest city.

“I’d assume theoretical middle,” he said.

“But which is it?” Thor asked, thumping a hand on the steering wheel. “And what’s the plan?”

“Well I think it’s in the middle of their city,” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and throwing myself back against my chair. “And do we need a plan?”

There was a dead silence in the car.

“You don’t have a plan?” the scientist whispered so quietly it was almost drowned out by the sound of snow crunching under the tires.

“You don’t have a plan,” cursed Thor.

I bit my lower lip. Was it really a problem?

“No wonder you got caught,” murmured the scientist in awe.

I slunk lower down in my seat, biting my pentacle pendant. These people just didn’t understand me. I would show them. This mission was easy. I was going to succeed, and easily at that. The beginning was just a hiccup. All I had to do was –

Thor cursed loudly. “Vamps,” he said, pointing ahead.

Indeed, vamps. As in, a full blockade of the things, complete with machine guns and baseball bats.

“Were they expecting us?” I asked, shocked.

“Now would be a good time for a plan,” said the scientist, chuckling nervously.

Life Hurts Right Now…

Hello everyone. I’m sad to say that I’ve almost given up on this blog. Yes, I’ve considered it a closed shop a few times now. And now… I just need to vent again.

Because huzzah! I might be going through another psychotic break (or something whatever else fun-fuckery).

So you might have wondered what I’ve been up to in these months I’ve been missing from this blog. Well, I’ve been active in the local pagan scene. I’ve been busy getting stabbed in the back, helping psychotic people, and trying to build community. All that seems to bring me the ire of local ‘established’ (commercialized, religion-selling,non-original, internet re-selling and plain dishonest) witches. But at least I helped one psychotic person feel like they’ve got someone to talk to. So that’s good.

Also good: I know am the proud owner of 500 business cards for my foundation, Starlight Pagan Family. It’s the first of it’s kind in my region, meaning it’s going to be a not-for-profit religious organization that’s pagan. WHAT?! YE MEAN IT’S NOT A WITCHE SHOPPE??!

Right. Because shops and selling shite is all we do, right? (haha, it rhymes)

But yeah, bitches. I made a not-for-profit, down-in the trenches and dirty foundation. We help people. We’re hosting rituals where the funds will go to homes for dying cancer patients. We are hosting a library of esoteric books (in my living room) so that people can research for FREE. Bitch, shit’s going to get DONE in my area. And eventually – I’mma build me a pagan abbey/temple space where people can be safe and worship and live if they want to. So there.

But you know what y’all? Shit’s gone down in my head. But I think that’s too long for one post. Next post y’all: how I converted to Islam.