I honestly don’t have much to say here except -> Thanks to everyone who reads and leaves comments! They totally make my day! Look forward to (possibly) some sketches of the (not so) fabulous trio coming soon!
Beyond the fire and flames, things calmed down ridiculously fast. No, there was no helicopters chasing after us. Not even cars. We were just zooming away through the hellish pine trees, skidding over the snow. The worst we encountered was a small snowdrift across the road.
“Are they not coming after us?” asked Thor, checking the rear view mirrors obsessively.
“Actually, I don’t think so,” said the scientist oh so calmly from the back seat. “We are in vampire territory, after all.”
I turned around in the seat and looked at him. “What do you mean by that?”
“It means that they can’t just send helicopters and armored vehicles into vampire land without it appearing as an invasion. So we’re technically safe,” he said with a cold smirk.
Thor gave me an ugly look. “You’re really dumb?”
I jabbed a finger at him. “Now lookit! I’m just not well versed in social affairs! I’m really good at – at -,” and there I floundered for a moment. I was far from the best fighter out there. I wasn’t the best magician. “I’m really good at art,” I mumbled dejectedly. The splattery kind.
Thor snorted. “That’s the kind of thing that won’t get you far in life.”
“So you wouldn’t classify yourself as a good fighter?” asked the scientist, drawing out a notepad from his pocket and scribbling at it.
“What are you doing, taking notes?” I gawked back at him. He nodded.
“Helps me remember. Now who would you classify as a good fighter?”
I snorted. “Ever gotten into a scrap with an archangel? Michael’s a good fighter.”
“Hmm, I see,” more scribbling ensued. “And should we be expecting to see those anytime soon?”
“Of course not!” I snapped before thinking. The Archangels stayed all stuffily in their holy world. The rest of us – well we just needed to fix this little problem. I folded my arms and sat back into my seat, refocusing. I had to get this done. And if we were heading into vampire territory, then things were going surprisingly well. “Hey, you two are going to help me out, right? I’ve got something I need to do.”
Scientist McNerdynerd took off his safety glasses and pocketed them. “And what would that be?”
I looked at Mark pleadingly. “You wanna help?” I fairly whined.
“What is it?” grumbled Mark.
I grinned and propped my feet up on te dashboard, feeling super proud and important. Becau-use… “I have been chosen to close the portal that the vampires are trying to open.”
“They’re trying to open a portal?” asked the scientist.
“To Hell, of course,” I said with a drawl. “They’re going to bring all their friends out here on earth. And maybe start Ragnarok by cracking open a seal that brings forth jesus’s ugly lamb-side.”
“Ragnarok?” asked Thor, eyeballing me. The scientist scribbled hastily away.
“Of course,” I drawled. “But we’re going to stop it. So no biggie.”
“Wait a minute, you’re just mixing hell, Ragnarok, and Archangel Michael together,” growled Thor. “You can’t just-”
“Oh yes I can,” I sniggered, lifting my pentacle pendant to nibble on it.
“Am I to assume all mythology to be accurate in some form?” asked the scientist as he scribbled away.
I shrugged, holding up my pentacle before myself. It glinted in the moonlight. There was no rule against divulging to humans what they already knew, was there? “Sure,” I said nonchalantly. Then, after a pause I said “Ancient mythology. There isn’t any great flying spaghetti monster.”
“And why,” the scientist started, but Thor cut him off.
“And who are you? Huh? Vampire spawn?”
Oh right, he didn’t know. Lazily I brushed my hair from my face. “I’m the grim reaper’s child.”
Another angry glare. “And so?”
That – was not the response I’d been looking for. Grovelling? Anyone?
“I’m the grim reaper’s child!” I fairly yelled. “A little respect here?”
“You’ll find that lineage bears little weight in contemporary Canadian culture,” said mister nerd in the back seat.
“Lineage is important!” I snapped, glaring from one scowling Thor to the nerd. “It gives you your powers!”
“And Lucifer went from angel to bad guy,” snapped Thor. “So go shove it!”
“Lucifer’s pretty cool,” I grumbled. “Or do you mean Satan? Both pretty cool.”
“Should we be worried about meeting them-”
“No!” I yelled, turning on him. What, didhe want the whole cavalry to show up? This was not some experiment! “Look, this is a relatively discreet thing – we don’t want everyone to show up. It’s just me, and now you two as well. Okay?”
“Closing a portal?” asked the scientist. “That sounds fairly simple.”
“Where is this portal?” growled Mark.
I gave him a cheesy grin. “Where else? In the middle of vamp-land.”
“The latitude and longitude middle, or the theoretical middle? Or the middle of their largest city?”
I turned around in the seat and glared at him. “Which do you think?” I asked saucily while my mind raced. Now that he mentioned it… I’d always just assumed ‘the middle’ meant the middle of their largest city.
“I’d assume theoretical middle,” he said.
“But which is it?” Thor asked, thumping a hand on the steering wheel. “And what’s the plan?”
“Well I think it’s in the middle of their city,” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and throwing myself back against my chair. “And do we need a plan?”
There was a dead silence in the car.
“You don’t have a plan?” the scientist whispered so quietly it was almost drowned out by the sound of snow crunching under the tires.
“You don’t have a plan,” cursed Thor.
I bit my lower lip. Was it really a problem?
“No wonder you got caught,” murmured the scientist in awe.
I slunk lower down in my seat, biting my pentacle pendant. These people just didn’t understand me. I would show them. This mission was easy. I was going to succeed, and easily at that. The beginning was just a hiccup. All I had to do was –
Thor cursed loudly. “Vamps,” he said, pointing ahead.
Indeed, vamps. As in, a full blockade of the things, complete with machine guns and baseball bats.
“Were they expecting us?” I asked, shocked.
“Now would be a good time for a plan,” said the scientist, chuckling nervously.