OMG! Another Story Idea?!

I bet you that I’ve already made a post with almost exactly that same title before. I betcha that I’ll keep having posts with this title for a long time (and I hope I will).

For Lo and Be-Hold! I had a dream last night (don’t we all know where this is going…) and I woke up thinking (as usual) ‘damn! That’d make a cool story!’.

Now, what’s different about this one is that 1) it actually had a beginning laid out for me and 2) it wrote up super easy.

Hold up! Does that mean I finished a short story? No such luck, haha!

What I mean is that I wrote up the beginning of it. Oh, say, almost two pages of writing. It wrote up SUPER easy, y’all. Suspiciously so. I’m sort of giving this story the sideways eye, y’all. It’s interesting (to me) and it seems like it could be fun/captivating.

Now here’s the problem, and where I need your help! You see, this story is unusually dark for me. There are many things about it that I am unsure of, so I’d really, really, really appreciate some feedback on it. I’m both interested in writing it up to see where it goes, but also unsure if I do want to sink so much time into a new story and venture (don’t I already have enough to write?!).

So read if Here! Let me know what you think and I’ll… give you a cookie? Haha, thanks so much!

Chaos Returns! YAYYYY!!!! (SPOILERS)

I’m supposed to be following up on general advice and my own ideas and -> taking a rest. But I don’t feel like it. I just want to write! And today, I’m proud to say that I managed to write some of Chaos’s story! So exciting! Will I write more? Will I do more in another novel? I’m not sure, but I don’t feel like stopping writing! I want more!

I’m so so pleased to have gotten over my writing block in Chaos’ story. It really bothered me not to be able to keep going with that story. Now, I have been able to start writing Ranger’s story, but it’s just not the same. I want to finish Chaos’ novel at some point, and I really enjoy writing it! I especially want y’all to have something fun to read!

Anyways, I really hope you all enjoyed Chaos’ latest installment. I just realized that book three is now over 43,000 words! Wow, it should be reaching it’s climax soon! I wonder if this is the last book in the series? I really wonder (I have no idea! Seriously!).

Right now, I’m wondering what’s going toΒ  happen to Charr. We haven’t heard from her in like, ever. Plus, there’s that extra Kuryo that went vanishing with Suzy. And now (I think) Chaos and the world-killer are about to have a show-down! Which (gasp!) if Chaos succeedsΒ  – does that mean that Chaos inherits the world-weaving powers? *poof* mind blown!

I’m not sure if that is going to happen, but it definitely gets my gears turning up there! And I’m still debating (hoping!) that somehow, in some way, Kuryo is going to make a comeback. I’m going to be so upset if he doesn’t.

Anyways, I hope you all have a lovely day and lots of love ❀ Take care y’all!

It Writes Again!!!

I am so happy to have been able to bring you all some more Chaos & Kuryo, y’all! I was so worried last night that I wouldn’t be able to write this story anytime soon! And yet, today was an excellent writing day!

Not only did I write in Chaos & Kuryo, but I also wrote over a thousand words in Ranger’s story, and almost two thousand in … a new story! That Beauty and the Beast retelling? I finally was able to start it!

Ahhh, yessss. Today is a victory day. I’m just so happy!

What caused this burst in productivity? I think it’s because I relaxed a lot today. me and the wifey watched two episodes of the Witcher (so much TV for us!). It was raining and snowing here today, so it was a quiet and chill day.

Anyways, that’s my update! I hope you and yours are all safe and happy. I wish you all the best ❀

Oh no! No Spoilers!

So today was a sleepy and lazy day. I was so lethargic and had no motivation whatsoever that I thought I wasn’t going to write. I just didn’t want to, and saw no use in forcing myself.

Luckily, that phase passed quickly enough and I got to writing this evening! I wrote a thousand words in Ranger’s story. The first novel (it’s a trilogy, I think) is almost done! I’m just about to the ‘big finale’ of that novel, and it’s so exciting!

I must say, I feel so privileged to be able to write like this. I finally have enough mental power and peace of mind to write clearly, and it shows. My writing has never been this cohesive and flowed so easily. And I have the time to write! A great spoil in and of itself!

But I digress. After working on Ranger’s story, I wrote in Chaos & Kuryo’s novel. UGHHHH. I’m not a fan of that section I wrote. It does it’s thing, sure, but – it’s not magical. I want magic, dammit! I want it to be captivating and enthralling and it just felt like filler. Like, the stuff had to happen but it wasn’t going to be interesting. Meh!

Anyways, there’s NO SPOILERS in this rant because -> I have no idea what happens next for Chaos or Kuryo. Nada. I’m like, a blank slate before the proverbial page. I’m slightly out of motivation, I’m not going to lie. My mind is very much caught up in Ranger’s story (much epic! much action! much romance!). I’d much rather be indulging in that story now, but there’s only so much I can write of a certain story each day. I usually only write between a thousand and two thousand words per story, then it becomes painful to keep going. So yeah, it takes me a while to make progress. Comparatively, when I began taking Abilify (and was a little wired and determined out of my mind) I was making myself write five thousand words a day in ‘a Tale of Two Queens’. It progressed so quickly!

Some days I miss being able to get that many words down a day. But then I remember how much pressure I’d placed upon myself and go naah. I’m much better off sticking to a few thousand instead of absolutely must be five thousand. I have a bit more of a life now, and am much happier!

Anyways, all that to say that today was a sleepy day and not much progress was made πŸ™‚ And that’s fine. I’m okay with it, because I trust myself to keep on going, and I know it’s my persistence that keeps my stories finishing, even if it is at a slower pace than I’d like!

Also, I’m starting to debate what I’ll do with Ranger’s story. Hmm. Should I get beta readers? Should I edit the first novel and share it, or write all three of the trilogy then edit and share for cohesiveness? How do ‘professional’ authors do it? I think they do it book by book, but I’m worried about wanting to change a detail in the beginning as I write the ending. But would I really change that much? I don’t do much in way of editing so unless I grow a massive editing arm, it’s highly unlikely I’ll change lots of details. Hmmm…

As always, I wish you all the best! Lots of love to you all ❀

OMG- More Dream Material!

Last night, I went to bed as normal, and fell asleep as normal.Β  However! I woke up in the middle of the night (o woe, my muse doth sing at unwelcome hours!) with an IDEA!

Because, you see, I think I fell asleep thinking about how I wanted Chaos to have a nice dom, or something like that. Well! I woke up with a scene in my head of who the PERFECT dom would be! And this kept me up for several hours, just laying in bed and thinking about it.

Now, I don’t want to tell y’all who it is, because I’m worried it won’t work out and I don’t want to raise everyone’s hopes. However! This afternoon I went and napped with my wife and AGAIN! ANOTHER DREAM! This time of who the dom’s second in command/person who looks after Chaos if the first dom isn’t around would be. Oooooh * fans self * so much domming action. So much hotness.

This is maybe all fuelled by the fact that I met someone recently in the BDSM scene who spoke lengthily to me and my wife about their involvement in the scene and how it helps them balance their life, sort of thing. It was very interesting!

Now I just have to write the story, and hope that all the hotness I’ve imagined will come through on the screen. AH! I hope so.

Speaking of hot things, one thing that made my heart skip a beat today was that *dun dun dunnn * someone read part of “A Tale of Two Queens” on wattpad! And they saved it in a bookshelf named ‘amazing stories’ (or something like that). Sensing that they liked the story (and knowing that only about half has been posted and will ever be posted on wattpad), I asked them if they wanted to have a pdf of the novel. To which they said no, they wanted to pay for it!They then went on to tell me how much they liked the story.

My author’s heart melted into a squishy mess. *sobs happily* I know I have silent readers out there, but I’m a ‘glass half empty’ kind of person some days. I tend to beat myself up and feel like a failure. So yeah, this made my day.

So final note: thank you to all of you readers and friends who keep up with me. You make my life just a little bit more sparkly every day, with every like and comment and page view. Thank you, from the bottom of my squishy heart.

I have Twitter!

So, seeing as I recently got an influx of twitter-people looking at my blog, I decided to bite the bullet and, yep, get a tweetin’ account. I’m really not sure how much I’ll use it, but I’m definitely looking forward to meeting more people through it!

So, if you have twitter, follow me at mdaoust245 on twitter!

Other than that, I’m pleased to announce that “My Name is Chaos” is almost done being formatted and edited, and will be published soon on the trusty website Smashwords (where you can find me at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/TwoLoveBirds )!

Anyone else have a twitter account? Drop your links, I’d love to have people to follow!

Hey everyone!

I just noticed that there is, indeed, more people on this blog thanks to a shoutout I did to the trans community. That warms my little heart. I love meeting members of the trans community, and I really love sharing my stories with everyone. It makes me smile like a goof whenever I get a comment, like, or a post share. I’ve spent most of my life being very lonely, and writing is my great passion, and so when you smack meeting people and sharing about my novels together, I get super happy! My writing is so close to my heart, it’s hard to put into words. I put a ridiculous amount of thought and meaning into every detail (except for maybe curtains haha) and even when I ‘wing it’, the story bears a lot of meaning for me. So feel free to chat! I’m dropping a summary of where and how to find me online here, for anyone who is curious/interested and wants to get to know me more.

Really, feel free to talk to me, I don’t bite and again, love to discuss my writing. Also, I’m on the lookout for beta readers, so if that interests you, let me know (preferably on facebook so that I don’t lose your message)! Finally, if you like my writing but are too broke to buy the novels I’ve put up on smashwords for sale (and those I will eventually put for sale on amazon), I can send them to you ~ on condition. The condition is that I really would like something in return, like a fanart, an interpretive essay, or something. I like seeing how others see my work, and knowing how much they liked it. Also, I’ve always dreamed of getting fanart so it would be a check on my bucket list! If this does happen, unless you really don’t want it shared, I’ll be posting it to my blog for all to see, which brings me to my final point -> if you are a trans artist of any kind and want to collab, hit me up! Even if you don’t want to collab and just want a shoutout of some kind, I’m glad to help out a fellow trans sibling.

20190903_1858053365412763214926668.jpg
Trans Birdie Loves You All!!!

My Links:

https://www.instagram.com/twolovebirds245/

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/TwoLoveBirds

https://www.facebook.com/groups/569454026857758/about/

https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdaoust245

Adelaide!

Be-fucking-hold! Queen Adelaide, Ladies and Gentlemen and folks in between!

adelaide victorious.jpeg

This, if you haven’t been reading along with the story, is massive spoilers, by the way. If you have, it’s probably still spoilers. This is Adelaide’s end form/final mutation from the story ‘Of Adelaide and Shadow’. So WHY oh fucking why am I sharing it?

To motivate myself, selfishly. I have been so focused upon Chaos’ story that I have totally left Farfadel in the dust. But you know, Farfadel is one of those stories that is close to my heart so… I must continue to share it!

So let me tell you a little bit about Adelaide, for those who are wondering ‘Is this a story I’d want to read?’.

Adelaide is a princess who grows into a Queen. She starts off insecure but devious, and ends up, well, bad-ass. She literally rules the world and shapes Farfadel into what it will be, and is constantly referenced in later Farfadel novels. So if you like humor, fairy tales centering around a woman who grows in strength and awesomeness -> this is the story for you!

Join me, one and all, in reading ‘Of Adelaide and Shadow’!

Of Adelaide and Shadow; Chapter Five

β€œHelp! Help!” squeaked Adelaide the chipmunk, battering her tiny fists on the glass bottle. But it was no use. Far away, through the tall grasses, she saw her future, her beloved, her army, and all that good stuff, growing small and distant.

β€œNo one can save you now!” cackled the hunter in a most villainous way.

β€œOh yeah?” squeaked Adelaide. β€œHow about myself?”

β€œOh,” said the hunter, lifting up the glass bottle and rattling her before his face. β€œBut you’re a chipmunk.”

β€œSo what?” Adelaide squealed, kicking the bottle. It made a dull thunk. β€œI’ll show you!” and she drew her tiny sword. Whack! A chip of glass went flying off of the inside of the bottle. Whack! Another chip went flying. Whack! A crack appeared in the glass.

β€œOh,” said the hunter again.

β€œHah!” said Adelaide, landing the final whack. The glass shattered – and Adelaide fell. Whump!

β€œOh,” said the hunter again, looking at the suddenly free princess.

β€œFreedom!” squealed adelaide the chipmunk, throwing her fists (and tiny sword) up into the air.

β€œNo!” barked the hunter, diving down to snatch at Adelaide. But it was a trap!

Adelaide smacked! Whacked! And nearly knocked the hunter silly upside the head with her sword.

The hunter reeled. Adelaide darted off into the woods.

β€œOh bother! Bugger! Booger!” said the hunter, stomping his feet as the little chipmunk in armor chipmunked away and up a tree. From the safety up there, she pulled her tongue at him.

All the villainous villain could do was look up and shake his fists. That, and think. But he was not the thinking sort of villain. No, he brooded instead, crossing his arms and sulking.

For several moments, he burrowed in self pity.

Next, he went through all the stages of moping.

Then, he indulged in a little self-gratification, thinking that at least he’d gotten the chipmunk this far and why did he even bother? Pfah! Fairies and their honey-

Oh. Then it occurred to him that he already had the honey. Why bother and walk all the way to Denerspell when the chipmunk was already good and gone?

β€œAh ha ha ha ha!” he laughed most evilly – then whack! An acorn thudded onto his forehead.

β€œTake that!” squeaked the very angry Adelaide. β€œAnd that!” she shook a branch, causing a small pelting of acorns to shower down.

β€œOuch! Ouch!” and the villain scampered away, chased by the angry chirpings of the chipmunk. Off he went to do villainous things. Like pruning his trees. He was very fond of that. And lurking, mostly lurking. He liked lurking.

Shadow, the prince of valiant hair and beautiful spirit (er, was that backwards? Nevermind, just keep reading) was dutifully charging on with his army sort of lagging behind just then. Unlike the hunter, they did not have magical boots to slip them across magical threads and thereby zip across the valley. For that was the secret to the villainous hunter’s caterpillar like strangeness yet snake-like speed. He followed special magical threads that ran through the valley and thereby sped him along like hot wind currents through the sky. That, dearest reader, is how he crossed so very far across the valley and into the woods while the prince was still galavanting after them.

Shadow, seeing with his keen eyes that the enemy was no longer visible, drew his horse to a halt.

Oh! his hair floated in the wind about him!

Oh! his armor shone magnificently!

Oh! How fabulously beautiful he was as he peered around in despondent love.

β€œCommander!” he called in a melodious voice.

The commander reined to a halt next to him. And Oh!

How his hair was not floating in the wind!
Oh! How his armor was not shining magnificently!

Oh! How not quite beautiful he was as he stooped and panted atop his horse.

β€œYes, your majesty, your highness, and your gloriousness?” he panted as if it was he and not his horse who had been galloping across the fields.

The prince tossed his magnificent hair. β€œPrepare the hounds! We must chase down that vandal! He stole my princess!”

The commander gulped air. β€œYes your majesty, your highness, your gulfiness-” and he gulped more air β€œit shall be done.” And then he let out more air with a ‘whoo!’ and gulped some more. The prince gave him a most disgruntled look.

β€œHurry up,” the prince snapped.

β€œYes your magnificence!” And then the commander wheeled his horse round to face the rest of the army (which was arriving in straggling bits behind them). β€œPrepare the hounds!” he bellowed in a definitely not melodious voice.

β€œWhat – for what?” asked the houndsmaster. β€œAm I putting them in frills with bouquets on their heads?”

β€œNo you bladder-brains!” the commander barked. β€œFor hunting! We must chase down that princess!”

β€œNo!” called out the prince, turning his horse around to face his army.

Oh! How the sun glowed like a halo ’round his head.

Oh! How his beautiful hair lifted majestically on the wind.

Oh! How earnest and beautiful he was as he addressed his troops with a hand upon his heart.

β€œShe is my beloved! My closest ally and dearest friend! We must not hunt her down! We must rescue her from the clutches of that horrid -”

And here even his beauty faltered a little as he considered what to call the hunter.

β€œBaboon-caterpillar,” he finally declared.

And oh! How everyone was moved by this speech – to the point of tears!

β€œAh, true love,” whispered a very sentimental dolt. Sniffles went round. Everyone was so roused to rescue the princess …

Except the houndsmaster. β€œSo what am I doing?” he asked daftly. β€œBouquets or no?”

Someone clouted him on the back of the head, thankfully.

β€œPrepare them for tracking down that horrid baboon-caterpillar!” called out the prince. β€œReady your horses for speed, and prepare your swords for battle!”

Then, as an afterthought. β€œWhy not some wildflower bouquets? Just to,” he waved his fingers β€œdress up the situation.” After all, he didn’t want the dogs to intimidate his beloved!

And so it was! Gentle reader, imagine the scene. All the horses were valiant and glossy as they tramped proudly on. All the soldiers were brave and dastardly (and not suffering from attacks of the honeycakes). At their head was the most beautiful prince with his hair billowing in the wind, the godly scent of his shampoo misting around him. Before him, the well-bred hounds struck up the scent, barking and nosing around as dogs do when on a hunt. Even the flower crowns upon the hounds’ heads somehow suited the occasion.

It was this touch that caused the fairies to nod their heads. β€œThey are doing a farewell procession,” they said with arms crossed and chins nodding imperiously.

β€œOh look!” the bees said excitedly. β€œA procession!”

β€œAh,” said the good people of Farfadel, watching from their small houses in the valley. β€œA procession!”

And everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

β€œThey must have eaten their fill. Look at them go!”

And all the people, and the birds and the bees and the happy gnomes and trees, all of them began to wave and cheer. And because all of them were waving and cheering, everyone thought that indeed, this was a goodbye procession. The fairies applauded each other and patted the other upon the back.

β€œWell done!” they said to each other.

The prince, on account of being blinded by love, did not exactly notice any of this. He was focused upon the hounds bobbing on ahead of him, and was worrying about his dearest Adelaide.

His soldiers, however, were glad to accept the last few honeycakes that the passerby’s gave to them…

Far away, evening descended upon Farfadel. The Frog King burped and demanded more food. The King and Queen moaned and wrung their hands, worried sick on account of their daughters. They alone were not celebrating the departure of the Denerspellian army as it had taken their beloved children away.

β€œOh, whatever shall we do?” moaned the King, wringing his hands as wealthy people are wont to do.

β€œWe must be stout! Stoic!” said the Queen, keeping her upper lip stiff. Then, clapping her fist into a palm she came up with a plan. β€œThey must have taken our daughters as ransom for future goods! They probably want honeycakes for the winter!” A glimmer appeared in her eye. β€œWe will secretly prepare honeycakes, hide them from the Frog King, and send them to Denerspell over the winter in exchange for our daughters!”

β€œWhat a magnificent plan!” cried out the King.

β€œRubbit!” said the Frog King, blasting down the door.

β€œWhat a magnificent plan!” jeered the dozens of (not so miniature any more) frogs.

β€œOh bother,” said the Queen.

β€œBugger,” said the King.

β€œRubbit!” said the Frog King.

And then he ate the King and Queen up.

Do not despair, gentle reader. This is a happy tale. No one dies.

The one who was despairing was the Hunter. Just as he thought that all that nonsense with the chipmunk was over and he was going to be able to restfully lurk in the comfort of his home – why! It was gone!

Or, more precisely, it was neither here nor there.

β€œBugger!” said the very buggered Hunter. For his home was on a patch of land that was not part of the moving marshes but rather was friends with the moving marshes. So it up and left whenever the fancy took it. Often that fancy would happen when he wasn’t around to scold it. This meant quite often he would leave home to do some proper villainous skulking and return home to a stinky patch of marsh that had traded place with his dear home.

Well! He had big words and small words and colorful words to describe the patch of land – but instead he whistled through his teeth.

A great mare burst out of the nearby trees (literally, the trees gentle reader, not the space between them) for it was a spirit of the woods.

It was a great black pawing beast. A noble creature of stalwart heart and battle-tried courage in times gone by when battles were a thing. It was bored in these last few centuries and had come to like the human who gave it apples on account of trotting him around to places that were more colorful than these dark woods. So they made a happy pair. The horse wanted apples and the human was sick of walking himself around.

β€œHo! Great beast of the forest! Nay, do not despair-”

And some rather bad poetry/monologuing ensued on the part of the hunter. Suffice to know that he often tried to impress the horse spirit with his speeches. The horse was half deaf and could not care less. It was happy to munch on the half of a carrot the hunter drew out of his pocket and offered to β€œthe very great and verbolicious horse that lays her enemies flattened before her.”

Sufficiently flattered and bored, the horse allowed the hunter to mount atop her back. Then, she began to amble off in whichever direction she pleased.

For the hunter hadn’t the slightest idea where his home had gone off to. All he knew was that it was on the other side of the mountains, trading places and perhaps playing cards with some very talkative marshes. Which made him sad, really, for he hadn’t wanted to live on that side of the mountains.

The people there were far more stalwart than the Farfadelians, and he’d have to lurk, prune, and sulk harder in order to impress them. Which all around was just more work. Bugger!

Now, one might think that Adelaide and the prince Shadow were on a collision course. Nothing could be further from the truth. For Adelaide, spirited and determined Adelaide, was destined to return home. And her prince was destined to get horrifically lost.

For you see, the flowers that were placed upon the hounds’ heads were very strongly scented. β€œAh, what beautiful aromas!” the houndsmaster had gullibly said while placing them upon the hounds’ heads.

Now, as the giddy fates who guard Farfadel would have it, those very same flowers were the ones that the fairies used to brew the sweetest meads and beers. They were, magically, filled with a gentle and sweet alcohol that misted into their scent.

The dogs, at first, noticed a chipmunk (not Adelaide) and strayed a little from their path. They then strayed back towards the path and overlooked it. Then they noticed a stream and pinholed for it, thirsty from the sweetness of the flowers. Then… then bugger it all, the dogs just wanted to lay down.

The houndsmaster was confused by the slightly wobbly appearance of his dogs. Yet he was a proud houndsmaster and did not want to let on that he did not know what he was doing. Truth be told, he knew quite a lot about dogs – but he had learned all that by watching how nobles behaved. He knew little about dogs in and of themselves. More so, he knew little of what could cause a dog to abruptly start wobbling and swerving and laying down on the scent.

So the houndsmaster did what most nobles do when in a bind. He improvised.

β€œThe princess must have drank from this stream,” he said as his dogs thirstily lapped at the gushing and gurgling waters.

Then, β€œThe princess must have rested here,” he said as his dogs lay down and heaved drunken sighs.

But it all came to an abrupt end when the moon hung heavy like cheese in the sky and the velvety darkness coated the sky. The stars sparkled the way as best they could and the moonlight glinted gently off the forms of the trees and bushes and the very thick brambles that the Denerspellians were wading through.

The hounds had had enough. Drunk enough to start giggling and throwing jokes at each other, they shook off the flower crowns for good and flopped down. One instantly began to snore.

β€œAh, this must be where they rested-” invented the houndsmaster quite lamely, nudging his dogs with a toe.

β€œOh bugger it all!” shouted the prince. β€œYou haven’t the slightest idea what you’re doing!”

The houndsmaster hung his head and mumbled a faint apology. The prince dismounted. His glorious hair caught the moonlight and glinted like a silky curtain down his back. He combed it from his face and half the forest swooned. Even the crickets began to sing love songs.

It is this love for the prince, they say, that kept them safe from all real trials and tribulations that the dark forest could hold for lost travelers.

For the prince had them lay down their blankets and sleep for the night. He ordered some troops to stand watch while the other rested, and so on and so forth during the night. This would have been little help had the buggerbears or the waspbits attacked them. Yet the forest was entranced. The trees sighed and swooned, weaving their branches into a canopy above the prince and whispering gentle words about him into the winds.

The rest of his army, to put it quaintly, was attacked by the honeycakes. All night, one by one, they tiptoed past their own guards and rushed into bushes and brambles to battle with their bowels. Ah, the forest was not so pleased of them. It put thorns in their side and tripped them on their way back to bed.

But overall, it was a pleasant night. When the dew settled and the stars gave way to the sun, many a soldier rose well rested. The prince, of course, rose as if he had had the gentlest of beauty sleeps. It is hard to reminisce properly about how beautiful he would have looked right then, for all the magic of the forest had poured itself into him in the most restful and beautiful of ways.

Suffice to imagine that he had the most shining of hair, the thickest and darkest of lashes (which he blinked slowly as he roused), the softest of skin, and as he sat up, gentle reader, imagine a shower of rose petals all about him. The prince was just that beautiful.

And so he tossed his luxurious and stupendously beautiful hair over his shoulder and demanded that the day begin. The forest swooned, sighed, and shed a dew-drop tear of good-bye. For by the next day, the prince ought to have left the forest and strayed across the moutains into the marshes that talked incessantly.

Yet – the winds had whispered far. The winds had whispered wide. And now and entire tribe of dark elves were suspicious of this person who had so entranced their forest.

As the army began to collect themselves and shake off the sleep from the night, an army of eyes watched from nearby.

β€œWell,” said a very sensible elf. β€œThey do not look ready for trouble.”

β€œIt is time!” called out the prince. β€œWe must ride to rescue my beloved! We will not stop until we find her!”

β€œOh,” said a not so sensible elf. β€œBut he is handsome.”

All elven eyes, glowing golden and purple and all the strange colors of the night, turned to the elf prince.

β€œOh bugger,” muttered the more sensible elves. For they knew, without a doubt, that their prince was shallow and vain. But above all he was selfish and rather spoiled by his gentle hearted parents.

β€œHe can ride in my lands,” purred the elf as the prince tossed his gorgeous hair over his shoulder and prepared to mount his horse.

The elves collectively rolled their eyes. The prince was too naive to notice this was directed at him. For he was not unkind. He was simply shallow. And so, without any malice in his heart, he came up with a plan.

β€œDirect him to my lands,” he said cheekily. β€œAnd we shall see for how long he can remember his beloved for.”

Again, the elves rolled their eyes. But they did as they were told.

The prince, unwitting and unprepared for any of this, mounted his horse and set off after the hounds.

Adelaide, for her part, was having a somewhat better time of it all. For she was a stalwart and sturdy chipmunk, and had wandered around these parts quite often upon her voyages to meet her beloved prince Shadow. After a night of napping atop a tree, she roused herself at the first scraps of dawn. Instantly she shook the dew drops from herself, scrubbed her face, and began the long journey home.

Due to her size, it was a very long voyage. But thanks to her being small, she went unnoticed by most of the forest. Once, a hawk spied her and thought she might make a tasty morsel. Upon closer inspection, it noticed that she was wearing armor. Not sure what to do with a chipmunk in armor, it soared away to find easier things to roast.

By the end of that first fateful day, Adelaide was barely reaching the edge of the forest. Night had settled and the stars shone when she climbed the last tree. There, she looked out across her home. Finally, she could see it.

Finally, she thought, all will be right again!

And, rest assured, all would be. But just not quite as quickly as she had hoped it would be.

For that day, that fateful and fate-filled and fate-touched and fate-ilicious day, the Frog King assumed his power upon Farfadel.

And the clouds grew thick and cast deep shadows across the lands. The cows grew ill and ceased to give milk. Wheat rotted on the stalk and corn fell unripened to the ground. Even the crows sought out shelter, cawing to each other that a storm was coming.

For the magic of the land had grown upset. Farfadel’s magic was not made to be reigned over by a half-witted magical creature. It was meant to be ruled over by partly-witted and rather endearing folk of the human nature. It was the good nature of gentle humans that gave Farfadel its charm and glory. Greed and slovenliness was never meant to rule here, as either a virtue or a pride, yet now it did.

And that upset everything.

“My Name is Chaos”; Chapter Fifteen, Part One

I made it two steps out into the world between worlds before I thought I was an idiot. A goof. A slug who was throwing their life away.

The fact that, any moment now, I could just turn around and get help, it was a nagging ache. Worse, every second that I ignored the ache cemented that I was never going back. I had made my choice and, deep within, it was holding fast.

I liked to contemplate that I would change my mind. I kept telling myself that, at the next crossroads, or after the portal, or when I saw Bella’s body, I’d rethink things, all while knowing that I would do no such thing.

To get to earth, I needed a portal. Like many spirits, I had no means to make one myself, hardly being that powerful, and indeed, not having permission to do so myself. But, like anything, it could be found in hell for a price. You just had to know where to look. And I, being me, just so happened to know that the very best place to look was where it wasn’t supposed to be.

β€œHey,” I said as I approached Lucifer’s throne. Because, yeah, the guy who was supposed to keep this place in line was also the one who sold everything to keep it out of line.

chaos lucifer.jpeg
Lucifer on his throne

Lucifer, at least this representation/part of him (who knew if it was just a part of himself while the rest of his soul went off doing something stupid?), was draped across his throne. In hues of black and silver, he shimmered like starlight, his silver hair hanging around him like curtains. His face was decorated with a veil-like array of fine chains that dangled from piercings. Bright blue eyes shone out, tokens of his once angel-hood.

He tutted at me. β€œDarling, I’ve heard you weren’t well. Come here and tell me all about it.” And he reached out a lanky arm. I knew better than to say no. Lucifer was huggy, if anything just to give people the creeps by touching them constantly. It was especially hard to navigate someone who wanted to hug you persistently.

So I sat beside his throne, the usual place a supplicant found themselves, and his arm draped around my shoulders. Instantly it was like a hissing cat roused within me.

β€œMine,” I clearly heard within my head as an itching sort of anger swept over me.

β€œUh,” I jumped up, swiping Lucifer’s arm from me as fast as I could.

β€œOh?” Lucifer asked casually. I froze. Was there some sort of punishment for spiting Lucifer? There was a certain glimmer to his eyes – was he angry now?

β€œAww, I see,” Lucifer crooned. With a stretch he took a grip on my shoulder and dragged me to stand before him. Distracted by his glittering eyes, I didn’t see his leg sweep out as he straightened. My feet were kicked out from beneath me and I landed on the stone floor on my knees.

Yeah, ouch.

β€œWell hello,” Lucifer said, propping a foot up on my shoulder. I winced as his heel dug in, but then he added the weight of his other leg to it.

β€œI’m sorry,” I croaked.

β€œYou should be!” he said happily. β€œLying to angels like that. Tut-tut, Chaos. You know they’re looking all over for your little girlfriend?”

Inside, I felt a strange coolness. Bella was furious, but calm. She knew how to play this game it would seem.

But me? I wanted to protect her. So I opened my mouth, about to spout something about not knowing what he was talking about.

β€œOh no, spare me that,” said Lucifer, holding up a hand dramatically. β€œI don’t want to talk with you. Summon your mistress, little slave.”

My jaw clamped shut. Humiliation spread over me and I gritted my teeth angrily. How dared he talk to me like that? He wasn’t the boss of me! β€œYou-”

But I was cut off from within. Suddenly I felt myself callously shunted aside, crashing into a corner of myself. My limbs were moving but I had no control over them.

My hands shoved Lucifer’s feet from my shoulder. β€œGood morning,” Bella’s voice said coldly.

β€œOh hey, doll!” Lucifer grinned, crossing one leg over the other knee. β€œI hope you don’t mind, I was using your footstool.”

Footstool? I wanted to squawk in horror. Bella didn’t seem to care. She was on her (mine?) feet now and dusting herself off. β€œI need a portal,” she was saying through me. β€œMy slave is going to fetch my body on earth.”

Lucifer tutted. β€œDarling, everyone’s been looking for you. You know, I could make a lot of money if I told them where you are.”

Bella snorted. β€œAs if you will. Give me a portal.”

β€œYou know, I want a personal slave too,” Lucifer whined. He held up a hand, pretending to investigate his manicured fingernails.

β€œLucifer!” Bella barked. Then, as he raised his eyebrows, she checked herself. β€œLucifer,” she said politely. β€œI really need a portal.”

Lucifer waved his fingers at himself, making his rings glimmer. Bella continued. β€œI can pay you,” she said sweetly. I could feel her smile on my face.

β€œOf course you’re going to pay me,” drawled Lucifer. β€œBut in what?”

Bella hesitated. β€œI can bring you some souls?” she offered.

Lucifer dropped his hand into his lap. β€œI like it when payment benefits everyone. Darling, you want to rule the three realms? Isn’t that it?”

β€œI want Nirvana,” Bella said cautiously. β€œOnly one of the realms.”

β€œOnly the strongest,” drawled Lucifer with a drag Queen-esque flip of the hand. β€œNow listen to me, chickling. I’ll give you a portal, and you will go get your body back, but you have to challenge God to a duel afterwards. It’s time someone dethrones the old fart.”

Bella hesitated.

β€œA duel, that’s all,” said Lucifer. β€œand as the prize, you’ll wager the rulership of the sky realm. Don’t you think it’ll be a lot easier to get into Nirvana if you can wage war against it with the power of the hordes of angels and demons, instead of your little piddly vampire-army? Hmm, girl?”

Bella hesitated again. I knew why. Lucifer was one to give gifts – at a price. β€œWhat do you want in return?” she asked cautiously.

β€œOh, you know, I really just want to see that old deity crushed under someone’s heel,” he said viciously, bringing his fingers to his lip. β€œBut, ah, for payment – hmmm we shall see.”

β€œWe shall see?” Bella asked sharply. β€œI don’t think so.”

Lucifer flipped out a hand. In his palm, a miniature portal hovered, glowing a dark purple. β€œYou don’t want a portal, darling?”

Bella gulped. Lucifer’s fingers waved around the portal. β€œI’ll make sure the angels look away as your slave travels,” he cooed.

Don’t do it! I thought as loudly as I could.

Bella hesitated.

Lucifer pouted. β€œOf course, if you don’t want it, I’ll have to respect my agreements to the ruling heavens and bla bla bla, you know how divine paperwork is, and,” he shrugged β€œI’ll have to turn you and your slave in to the angels.”

Bella grimaced.

Lucifer tilted his head. β€œAs a great leader once said,” and he paused for dramatic effect, making a pitiable face β€œ’Sad’.”

Bella scowled. β€œFine!” she reached forward. β€œGive me the portal!”

β€œEcx-el-lent!” Lucifer cheered, dropping the portal into my palm. It was heavy but Bella’s strength allowed me to hold it. β€œThere you go darling. Use it well!” Now grinning most viciously, he kicked his legs up onto his armrest and returned to draping across his throne.

Bella smiled nastily in return. I felt her sarcasm, but at the same time her glee. With Lucifer officially on her side, she was one step closer to Nirvana.