Chaos & Kuryo (novel 3) Chapter 10 part 2

Kuryo POV

The thing about being so short is that skirts and all that are horrible eye magnets. There were two people who came out onto the balcony, and oh my. The bird in me squawked and cocked my head, saying (in bird speak) ‘Are you serious?’.

It was a grizzly old man (it had to be) wearing no medieval tights to cover his stumpy and hairy legs or anything else up there. And that tunic! Too short, my friend. Too short.

Just as I was ogling this man who was definitely a human by his shortness, another being swept out onto the porch, barely dressed as well. But this one it was the top that wasn’t quite dressed. They had on a deep reddish brown robe that looked like a dress, and it was open down to the waist and draping off one shoulder. They had long blonde hair that swept down past their hips and bright eyes. He (it looked like a he) exhaled smoke and stepped to stand beside the man, offering a pipe.

I eyed their feet. Both wore about the foot size (did that matter?). They were speaking, though, and I paid attention, pecking aimlessly at the wood of the balcony to look like I was doing something.

“We will have the shipment ready soon,” said the human, puffing at the pipe. “Don’t worry about that.”

“I’m not worried about that,” said the other being. “I’m worried about this new dimension they’ve got their eyes on. It’s apparently quite the chaotic one.”

“Oh?” the man chortled. “I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

I eyed the two of them with one eye. A dimension? Conquering?

The pipe was passed back to the alien or whatever they were. He puffed at it for a moment, then returned it to the human. “You know, it’s quite strange, this world,” and he sent smoke up into the air. “Very religious,” and he gestured to down below. “Like here, but worse.”

“Well good for you. Makes good slaves,” the man chuckled nastily.

Suzy, who had been slowly whimpering since their appearance, now began to cry in the back of my mind.

“What?” I asked within myself.

“I don’t like them,” she whispered. “They’re the conquerors. They’re the one fighting me, the Academy, for the gods.”

I squawked. “For the gods?”

The blond man looked down at me. He exhaled smoke. “Oh, look. It’s blue. A blue crow.”

The man snorted. “Filthy things. Kick it.”

“Hmm,” the blond man stooped, chuckling. He held out the pipe to me. “Want some?”

I eyed him, then the pipe. Okay, a magical-looking pipe? A perfect wizard-like thing? I wanted it.

Slowly, I nibbled the tip. It made the tall man laugh. “Look!” he said, turning slightly to say it to the other man. “It wants some!”

Then I yanked it from him and took off. Fuckers!

Wham! I hit an invisible wall just above the railing of the balcony. A shimmer of a spell let me know what happened.

“You idiot!” squealed Suzy in the back of my mind. “You stupid stupid-”

I flopped gracelessly down onto my back, the world whirling. A blond head poked above me, laughing. “The poor thing!”

The world careened some more as I was lifted. I was held up to eye height as the man stood. “Think it’s injured?”

“Who cares?” asked the other man. He picked up the pipe and wiped it off on a sleeve before eyeing it suspiciously. “Just chuck it over the edge. It’s dirty.”

This man hummed. A hand gripped me solidly and we turned. In the back of my mind Suzy was weeping.

We stepped into the building, and I couldn’t detect much of what was going on. I was badly concussed, I guessed. The world span and I was handled this way and that, flipped over.

“What are you doing?” asked the ugly man, now puffing inside on the pipe.

“Oh, you know, I like feathers,” said the blond man.

I heard a strange ‘snip-snip’ right next to me as my left wing was extended.

“He’s cutting your feathers!” Suzy shrieked, making the inside of my head rattle.

My feathers? I squawked, trying to peck at the hand – which made my head thud awfully. But my feathers! I scrambled, flapped – and was held quite solidly by the shoulder. A giant pair of shears appeared at my right side and snip! A huge chunk of my wing feathers fluttered away.

I shrieked. My feathers!

“There we go!” the shears were laid aside and I was cradled in two hands, held up to a strangely modern lamp in the ceiling.

“Fuck you!” I shrieked, jumping out of the hands. Flap flap- thud. I hit the floor right before the short mans hairy feet. Ugh.

The world spun and the short man was laughing. “It’s so stupid!”

Horror drenched through me. I shuffled along on the floor, flapping desperately. But there was no traction. No wing grabby power. Squawk!

I was scooped up from behind. “Come here, you thing,” and I was placed on a pillow on the table. “There. You just-” my head was patted and it was like an anvil striking me. “Stay here.”

I wanted to barf. My head was hurting so bad and now everything else was aching from all my falls – and Suzy was sobbing. “We’ve been caught!”

“Of course not,” I shushed her. “This is just a setback. The minute they turn their backs, I’m out of here.”

Because, really, if dimensions couldn’t hold me back, how could this building? The minute they looked the other way, I was going to hop my way out of here and that would be that. I’d pop onto another building and never go on a balcony again.

It took some time. The tall man fussed around me for a good few minutes, setting a bowl of water before me and a crust of bread. Ech. Go away!

Finally, they did go back out onto the balcony. Good.

I focused. Felt my power through the throbbing pain and nausea. Then I sent myself forward – and lurched.

I opened my eyes, feeling a strange tingling all over myself. A certain lack of…

“They’ve cut your wings!” Suzy was wailing.

Yes, but – that can’t be the crux of my power. They’re just wings.

I tried again. And again. And finally, head pounding and retching from the pain of it all, I dropped down onto the pillow. The world span and I gave up for the time being. Maybe I was just too sick to do this properly.

It certainly couldn’t be because of my wings being cut.

Author’s Rant (spoilers!)

Awwwh yeah! I just posted the latest chapter in Chaos &Kuryo’s story, and I couldn’t be more excited about it! That little baby is about to be the center of the story, I can just feel it. And watch Chaos be super protective of it. Watch everyone try and protect it. I’m actually wondering if Kuryo body-swaps with Charr. I admit, I thought it would have been super fun for the badguys to show up and shit break out -> and Kuryo spends half the story being a pregnant woman. Heheheh.

But hey – Kay  did mention that someone was trying to kill it, right? Exciting, exciting! I wonder who that could be?! No, seriously, I wonder. Lucifer’s off in his own dimension and busy quelling rebellions and establishing his rule. He’s not dimension hopping last time I checked. My bet is that this has got something to do with the Academy.

For those of you (all of you, really) who don’t know anything about the Academy (because I haven’t posted it yet, duh), shit’s about to get real, haha. I’m totally going to be breathing life back into that old badguy, I’m just not sure how yet. Are they the one chasing after baby God, or…? Someone else? Hmmm…

This also brings me to another point. There will definitely be dimension-jumping coming in, as this story is set in that universe I dreamed up last winter. You might remember it if you’ve been reading my blog a lot. It involves medieval christianity and aliens. Yes, aliens.

So yeah, our characters are about to go get chucked into that world. Why? How? All that remains to be found out, but one thing is for certain! -> We are going to meet Chaos’s other dimensional self! Ohhhh yeah, I’m looking forward to this! I don’t want to tell you, because I want it to be such a surprise for everyone, but yussssss. There will be lots of Chaos in this novel, make no mistake. Much fun will be had with their guilt about destroying God, too. Muah hah hah.

Anyways! Despite all my cheer, I’ve not been doing so well, so forgive me if there’s not a lot of posting going on lately/in the near future. I’m still under the weather, but hopefully on the upstreak again. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and managed to do the dishes today as a small victory. So yeah.

I wish you all the very best! lots of love to you all!

“Attack of the White Clouds”; Chapter Three, Part One

Without a single question H- and D- followed me. They even seemed happy. Ch- was a different story altogether.

“So that is it? We are just going wherever she points?”

“You don’t have a better idea,” D- said sharply. H- chuckled.

“Well what about the food? Does she know what we are going to eat out here?”

I pointed her way without bothering to look. She squeaked. “Me?! We’re going to eat me?!”

The rest of us laughed heartily. When he was done, H- said “She meant you were in charge of that. I think. I mean, we could try and eat you for supper if you want. Your idea, I suppose,”

“Oh, very funny!” Ch- snapped.

“It was your idea,” D- said smugly.

And so the day wore on.

Tirelessly we retraced the lands we’d just crossed that day. Night was falling and still I did not want to rest. It grew dark around us and H- suggested we rest but I felt deaf to his words. The jug now strapped to my back I felt the tug, the pull, ad followed it relentlessly.

“Are you going to walk us to death? We need to eat!” Ch- called out bitterly from behind. As I turned I realized they all were behind, lagging in exhaustion. A bolt of fear ran through me. I’d been too caught up in myself to guide them properly. So I rushed towards them, shaking my head. D- smiled wearily at me as I took them by the shoulders in a silent plea for forgiveness. The purple lips chuckled and their warm hands patted my arms. “You look so worried. We are not that tired. We can keep walking if you feel the need to.”

I shook my head vehemently. Looking around, I took in the lands around us. Curving pillars of rock that jutted up from the bedrock. here and there it lay bare in cresting slices like waves. moss grew over it, red in hue and determined. Bitter, too. Not good to eat.

I pointed to Ch-, and desperately tried to speak. Guilt pressed heavily over me. How long had we walked? The night was very dark and the moon treacherously high in the sky. “F-f-f-”

“Food?” Ch- asked with a sneer. “How am I to find that?”

“I think that any hunter worth their salt can find that, even in this dark,” D- said smoothly as they took my hands from their shoulders. “Why not cast camp? I will go find flowers and the good moss. At least that can ease our hunger.”

Ch- made an unhappy rasping sound at the idea. It was not a filling supper, certainly, and for that I felt guilty. But as D- walked away H- shook his head and smiled at me. “You are certainly a very motivated leader. I am glad I followed you.”

I nodded firmly, courage returning. Once more I knew that I would lead them. It was in the pull, in my destiny. Fated.

Then D- came running back. A thick chunk of moss peppered with flowers was clutched in one fist, and the other pointed to the sky wildly. “The eye! The eye! Look-” and we all did.

It was nearly invisible in this dark. The sky, already hued with a gentle covering of clouds, was now bearing a swiftly moving blot. That’s all it was, a blot that moved with a silver hue to it. It glistened, and those sparkling shards moved amongst it. What gleamed the most, and could be seen clearly when the moonlight struck it a certain way, or when it blinked, was the eyes. Those monstrous things.

Ch- made an angry noise, her horns and fins rising along her face. Her sword drew with a hiss- but I held out a hand. We were tired. The fight was not for now.

Crouching to the ground, I urged the others to follow. Like when a violent storm came, I lay down flat on the earth. In a crevice of the rocky plains, so that I may blend in.

Hesitantly the other followed. Ch- did so with much more noise. “That is all? We are lying down? Is this your idea of a fight?”

I clapped a hand over her mouth and forced her head down into the earth.

Overhead, the cloud was passing. The eyes were fixated upon the horizon as if still seeing our people far away. My stomach churned, first with fear, then with anxious realization as its tail wound through the air above us and it progressed towards the ocean. It would follow them. They were not safe. It soared on as if the waters were no barrier for it- and only once it grew faint over the sky did I try and rise.

Three pairs of hands yanked me down. Ch- muttered in a low hiss, the only one daring to speak. “Look, you idiot! Look before you move!”

Forced to, I did. Horror seized me. The urge to scream and run was overwhelming as I saw more clouds than ever before. This was more than any storm could furnish.

They were layered three high, piling over each other. They filled the sky now, from the horizon and beyond and now this army was passing over us. Gliding oozily on, they moved like oil over water. They would merge as the winds pushed them together then they would part in different ways as they drifted on. Each eye was special, different from the others in its shape or color. Some were purple, some shimmered and others gleamed with the power over fire or light itself. Yet they never stayed still. Restless, agitated, they would shift with the moving of the wind and pass from one cloud to another, then back again and perhaps on to yet another cloud. It was senseless and strange. Terrifying in how unlike it was anything natural or correct in this world.

It seemed like an eternity we lay there, breathing heavily and yet trying not to breathe from fright. It was senseless to fight this many- and was there even a point to try and keep fighting? To my horror I realized that now was the time we could confront them and yet it was impossible. Not that many. We were but four and they- thousands!

Thoughts jumbled and fear came in waves as I saw eyes blinking and glancing down at the earth occasionally. Yet we were not seen. Mercifully, as the sun began to gleam on the horizon, the sky was clear once more. Stars sparkled as if to comfort us.

We rose, achy and trembling. “Well that was mighty brave of us,” Ch- said with sarcasm. Irritated, she brushed dust and dew from herself.

D- scowled and looked down at the moss and flowers they still held in their hands. H- shook himself off and readjusted his scarf. “What do we do now?” he asked softly. “They have passed us and there is no way we’ll ever fight them all.”

I rubbed my neck and looked at the sky. fear seemed to have loosened my tongue. “We- south, still,” I nodded with determination. “Fight them later.” They would come back, something told me. They were hunting our people, and soon they would realize some had escaped. They would chase after us.

“How exactly do you plan on killing all of those things?” Ch- said sharply. “There were three thousand of them!”

I startled. So did H- and D-, who said what I wasn’t thinking. “You counted?” D- asked.

“Well someone had to,” Ch- said bitterly. “I counted the eyes. There was a lot, but only so many per cloud. Roughly, there was three thousand.”

I plucked at some dirt stuck to my arm. Three thousand… “South,” I insisted. “We go south. Then, we go north.” And I nodded to Ch- in deference. Once I’d led, then it would be her turn. We would try every plan we could think of.

Ch- seemed startled by this. She paused, looking me over as if expecting this to be some trick. With a certain amount of caution she nodded while crossing her arms. “What do you expect to find down south? Do you think they have built a stronghold?”

Their lands are the wind, and beyond the sea. They swept down from the stars- why would they have built anything upon the land that is so fragile to them? No, I did not know what I was searching for. But the jug tugged me home.

I tried to say all this, that in their tracks we may find how to destroy those white eyes that we’d only ever been able to turn away- but all that came out was a garble. In my haste my tongue was not even making words.

Ch- seemed to deflate. Scoffing she looked away. “We’re following a babbling fool,” she muttered before H- smacked her on the back of the head.

“She’s not a fool,” he hissed “she just can’t talk.”

“But children can do that! Even infants can speak more than she- ” I turned my back and pointed to the moss that D- was sourly still holding. We needed to eat, then we needed to rest. I gestured to my mouth, then to the earth and feigned resting.

“Good idea,” D- said swiftly before Ch- could interrupt. “We ought to at least rest a little. I will take the first watch.” And they set about pulling utensils from their bag to grind up the moss and soften the flowers for eating. I plopped to sit on the earth, taking the jug from my back and setting it into my lap. It’s blue glaze sparkled at me, bumps glistening in the early sun’s rays. What message did this jug now bear? As I pondered that, Ch- sat near me. For a blink of an eye we looked at each other, then she looked away as if offended. I returned to contemplating the jug.

Once we ate we lay down to rest. D- took the first watch of an hour, as they had said. H- took the rest. Ch- and I would take the watch when we next rested. For now, we slept a precious few hours before it grew too hot to sleep. Then, we wrapped the scarves around us and plodded on.

More Ranger…

Hey everyone! It’s super late over here and I’m more tired than usual after spending the day setting up a car shelter for winter, but I just had to share this sketch with y’all. I’m feeling super inspired thanks to the lovely feedback on my last post and on instagram (special thanks to Amber for commenting <3). Finally, yes, I will probably be sharing Ranger’s story with you all 🙂 I just really think, like one person commented on instagram, that sometimes we have to learn to let go. So maybe it’s time I let go of hoarding my characters and just set them loose upon the world? Anyways, I will be sharing them. Which means more editing, haha, because the beginning is not quite right yet! So it might take some time before you get to read the story, but trust me I’ll be working on it!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a lovely evening/day 🙂 many blessings on you all.

“Just More Chaos”; Chapter Three Part Two

The center was in an uproar. Vampires filled the hallways, and scraps broke out between factions who hissed at each other. Everyone seemed to be blaming the vampires that had been on the expedition for Bella being wounded. Werewolves (Munch included) arrived in the already crowded hall, pretending to be the peacekeepers. The situation was tense, and I was just trying to stay out of it.

That meant I was squished up against the wall, Conan on one side and a gang of vampires hissing on the other.

“So who are you?” Conan asked calmly, as if he really couldn’t care less about the fight brewing right before us.

“Chaos,” I muttered viciously, watching as one vampire from the team was being shoved by others. This was bad.

“I’m Kuryo,” Conan said. He pronounced it like Charr had, ‘ gor-ye-o’. I ignored him, eyes on the fight.

“You’re Conan now,” I snapped viciously. Was there a way I could stop this fight? Surely all this wasn’t good for Bella. She was right on the other side of this hallway, beyond those surgery doors…

Two vampires from the team came to the rescue of their comrade, but they got shoved by Munch. Three other vampires added in, ganging up on their blodosucking friends. A howl went up, and even I, disconnected from the hivemind, could feel that someone was about to be punished for what had happened to Bella.

But Bella wouldn’t want this – but what could I do.

Just as I was overthinking that, I saw Munch draw a knife.

“No!” I shouted, lurching out of my huddle against the wall. In two blinks I found myself in the middle of it all, pointing down Munch. “Put that away!” I ordered.

There was that half-second of pure silence where everyone was just as shocked as I was. Munch blinked, then recovered from his shock. “Oh yeah? Says who?” he sneered, lifting the knife in the air.

“Bella wouldn’t want you all to be fighting,” I snapped. “She-”

“You don’t know her!” a vampire shrieked from behind me. “You were here for what – two days?”

I flicked my eyes up to the ceiling to curse, then took a deep breath. “Bella was very clear -”

“You’re not one of us!” shouted the vampire who Munch had been threatening. They pushed me away from them. Hands grabbed me from behind. I wrenched free, only to stumble back into the middle of the blame circle.

A sense of calm filled me. A fight was coming, and I just knew it. Cool, I could make it out alive. Instinctively I drew my dice – and saw that this was the one that Amitabha had given me. And it was 20 side up.

I pocketed it, closing my eyes. “Listen to me-” and an idea struck me. Could I remember Bella’s words?

Could I…

I spoke the words, and they made no noise. Silence fell, the impact sudden and forceful. It was like the sound being turned off on a film.

The air quivered as I spoke, repeating the few words I knew over and over. Bodies slumped, resting against each other. Groans rose. I could feel the artificial peace forcing itself onto their minds, stilling them. Forcing them into docility.

Except one. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Conan watching the scene with a detached interest. He alone wasn’t experiencing the artificial nirvana.

That jolted me out of it. I stumbled my words, and forget them. My last sound was a clearing of the throat, pretending it had been intentional.

The mood shattered. Heads were lifted and eyes blinked as if everyone was just waking from a dream. I clapped my hands.

“Okay, Bella wants us to work together, I’m sure. Who wants to go get the one who shot her? You should be able to hunt her down.”

At this, Conan visibly paled. Not indifferent any more? Well, sucks to be him.

“Bring her back here,” I ordered. “As unharmed as possible, so that Bella can deal with her. How about that?”

There were hisses and shrieks of agreement. Werewolves howled, and the order had been reestablished. The hunters were dispatched and the others let them go. Vampires returned to their duties, clearing the hall.

I let out a deep breath and turned. Conan was still watching, a frown on his face. “What?” I asked, feeling pretty smug. I wanted to rub my victory in his face. See? See? I’m better than you.

“Didn’t know there were two of you,” he said, shrugging as if he didn’t care.

I took that as a compliment. Me and Bella, a team! But I played it calm, pretending to be as disinterested as he was. “I suppose,” was all I said. Secretly, I was hoping this would convince Bella to keep me around.


I don’t know how long surgeries normally take on magical beings, but Bella was not out as the sun set and the hunting teams came back, tail between their legs. Charr had reached a major road and her scent had vanished, they mumbled to me as if reporting for duty. I nodded, then instructed them all to get some rest.

They bowed at me, then left. At my side, I knew Conan had noticed all this. I still felt pretty proud, but somehow guilty as well. Surely Bella would keep me on (I hoped!) and find some way to counter FoxFace’s spells but… Did I really want that?

I shook myself mentally. I had come back from the Pure Lands for Bella. I would save her from herself. I would stay by her side.

Out through the windows, the sun set on beautiful ribbons of pink and purple over the treetops. Conan was still here, and I nastily decided not to send him home. Let him suffer here with me. No comfy chairs for him.

I found myself sitting on the floor, back against the wall. Conan was standing on one leg against the wall for what seemed like hours. What, was he half bird? Stupid guy.

The night stretched on, and on, and on. I rubbed my burning eyes and wished for the comfy bed in the house. I wished for Bella to be okay, by my side, and for us to be together again…

I woke from my sleep by the sudden feeling of Bella. My eyes snapped open and I jumped – and she was right before me, crouching down so we were eye level. Her blue eye was glowing and a large grin was on her face.

“Hey,” she crooned, her hands smoothing over mine. “You stayed here?”

“Of course,” I mumbled, reaching to hug her. She slid into my arms and I nestled against her, overflowing with happiness. Her heartbeat thumped from her chest to mine, strong and healthy now. I squeezed her tightly – and saw Conan watching us from not far away enough. He was standing on his other leg now and watched shamelessly.

Bella drew back to hold me at arms’ length. She ran her fingers over my hair. “Your hair is too short,” she murmured and a guilty thrill went through me.

“Yeah,” I agreed, smiling stupidly.

She rose to her feet. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Hand in hand, we walked down the hall together. Butterflies filled me and I couldn’t stop grinning. Even the knowledge that Conan lurked behind us, tailing like a sulking shadow, didn’t down me. Let him be there. I was the one Bella wanted.

“Dreaming of Lights”; Chapter One, Part Two

In a catastrophic rush we ran through the building. She didn’t need to pull me anymore but she had a firm grip on me. But I wasn’t going to run away. I was by her side and was going to protect her from the sprites! Somehow, in the chaotic rush of the moment, I thought that I was going to prove that I could take care of her by… whacking sprites over the head? Yeah. Brilliant.

We crashed out the double front doors into the yard. It was full chaos. There was students in all shapes, everywhere, grabbing at sprites and battling them in the most (to my unmagical lens) epic of ways. Sparks were flying! Magic simmered through the air like ribbons!

Aaliyah let go of me, running towards the debris around the trees. “Grab a stick!” she called to me, doing so herself. Then, seeing as I wasn’t getting there fast enough she threw a stick at me, snapped one off a branch for herself, and whirled around to face…everything.

Because the school grounds were huge. The fields sprawled in all directions with preened green slopes, a little stream gurgling down among them, and trimmed trees here and there dotting the landscape. But the battle was all concentrated here, where the sprites were trying to destroy our sacred trees. We were smack in the thick of it.

Get as many as you can!” ordered Aaliyah before sprinting into the chaos. I wanted to yell at her to wait for me- but that would have sounded wimpy. I was brave! Rawwwr!

So I stood there and tried not to quiver with my stupid stick in hand. Damnit! Why?!

As they say, spirits and the bloomed ones that are so inclined can smell fear. Within seconds a sprite was flashing towards me, elemental powers in hand and teeth gnashing.

If you’ve never seen a sprite up close, their sparkling cloud doesn’t hide their shape very well. Beneath it, they sort of look like floating ghosts with evil hands and onion-shaped heads. This one had green lights sparkling around its hands and the nastiest pointy teeth I’d ever seen.

Snack- snack,” it seemed to say, clacking its teeth together as it floated before me.

I gripped my stick with both hands. Think of Aaliyah, I told myself. Think of school. You’re never going anywhere unless you bash this thing’s brains in-

Aaaand, just as I was thinking that, it zoomed in on me. I swung the stick with a yell, a sound that was mercifully drowned away by all the sounds of a battlefield around us. My stick whizzed above the sprite’s head and I lost my balance. The sprite leaped forward. Its fangs buried into my right forearm, its elemental spell sending electric shocks into me.

Okay, now I yelled.

And then something happened.

I felt a change come over me. Something rushed through my system like hot soda bubbling in my veins. I thrashed, the electric sparks suddenly seeming faint.

I’m fucking dying, I remember thinking. Good lords, this was stupid!

As the rush continued I found myself moving – and suddenly came to with my hand closed over the sprite. Both hands.

Beneath my fingers I felt the sprite pulsing. I felt the three parts of its soul throbbing with life. I heard it hissing and scrawling in a language I suddenly understood.

Let me go!” it shrieked in that tiny, hissing, voice. “You’re not one of them! Let me go! What are you? Let me go!”

Shocked, I moved my hands. Tentatively, I pulled on what I felt and the three soul parts began coming apart. The sprite shrieked – and burst one of its own parts. It killed itself.

I gaped as the body went limp in my hands. The two other parts throbbed with life still – and it smelt. It smelt delicious, a strange aroma of death and untimely consumption and decay that called to me like a corrupt song. Suddenly I knew what an addiction must feel like. What it must be like to crave the casinos, the drugs, the things you knew you shouldn’t do.

Because I knew I shouldn’t eat the sprite.

I mean, yes, everyone eats sprites. Their body is a common fall roast that mother could afford about once a year. But I wanted the soul.

Hesitant, I looked around. Maybe I was searching for a reality check. But the world felt woozy. It didn’t seem real. And somehow I just knew that no one was paying me a shred of attention, too busy searching out their own glory strikes.

So I gave in. I was lifting the sprite’s remaining two souls to my lips. Somewhere within me my rational self was wondering what was happening. I mean, can stomachs even digest souls?

But it never reached my lips. Instead, the two sprite souls sort of infused up my arms, dissolving into me, merging up through my skin.

I gasped, dropping the now thoroughly dead body. I wanted to scream as I realized that the souls were now in me. Did I digest them through my hands? Was the sprite now part of me? Did I now have five soul-parts? What was going on?

Completely freaking I fell backwards onto my butt. With a scramble I tried to get away from the inanimate body. Impulsively I wanted to flee.

That must have been the trick because suddenly I was scrambling, launching myself up, up, and flapping into the sky. It was when I was about five to six feet up, pumping my wings/arms like mad that I realized – wait a minute.

I looked down at the chaotic battlefield. I looked downer and saw my legs- now two stubby black bird legs. With a hoarse shriek I realized that I wasn’t me any longer.

With a jolt I realized I’d bloomed. Somehow. With another jolt I realized I was about to fall straight down if I didn’t do something about it.

“My Name is Chaos”; Chapter Eighteen, Part Two

Hmm, I’m really not sure what to think of this scene. I hate writing abusive scenes (this definitely takes a trigger warning for abuse!), so maybe that’s why it bothers me? The real question is: does it seem consistent with Bella’s growing power over Chaos? Does the magic in it make sense? I’d love to hear comments on this!


“Lucifer is up to something,” I said to Bella the moment we were alone. That meant that we had just stepped out of the portal and slipped inside the house. Now, we were in Bella’s private room, pulling off our boots.

She raised her eyebrows at me as if amused. Like I was a cute puppy that was excitably licking her hand. I gritted my teeth.

“I know Lucifer,” at least a bit. “He never does something for nothing. He’s lazy, you know.”

“He does do things for no reason sometimes, though,” said Bella, quoting the liar of liars. “And besides,” she thunked down into her large chair, fingering the leash between us. “What point is there in saying no to him?”

“The point,” I said testily, “Is not to let him into the hive.” It felt weird calling Bella’s group, or goop of minds, a hive. Were we really all connected to her after ‘ascension’? Or was Lucifer wrong? It wasn’t beyond him, or any gods besides, to be wrong. But Bella wasn’t correcting me.

“A hive is a collection of minds, sometimes led by a singular mind,” she said, having probably just read mine. She shrugged. “I see no harm in having him added to it. It could even be a plus.” And she pulled a pillow from her side and plunked it down to the floor. She nodded at it, and I knew she wanted me to sit. At her feet.

I did, pressing my lips together and swallowing down more of my pride. I secretly hoped it would endear her to me, would make her listen to my point more. “Bella,” I folded my hands on her knee and propped my chin over them so my chin wouldn’t dig into her leg. “Lucifer isn’t someone to play games with. He’s a trickster god.” Not mean, but not easy to understand. “And he’s definitely up to something.”

Bella tutted. “Chaos, listen to yourself. Do you think I can’t keep Lucifer in line?”

I hesitated, not knowing how to say that yes, she couldn’t. Definitely not.

Maybe I thought too loud. A flash of anger made her eye flare with anger – and I didn’t see it coming.

Crack! The slap struck me hard across the face.

“How dare you!” Bella shrieked, hand still raised. With a jump she was now on her feet and towering over me. “I can so keep him in line! Who do you think I am?”

Clutching my cheek I shrunk back, propped on my other hand. Fear flashed through me. Fear of what I wasn’t sure – what could I logically be afraid of? – but for an instant I was terrified.

But then Bella lowered her hand. She breathed deeply and I thought it was over. “I will keep Lucifer in line,” she said coldly. “I can do that, and easily.” She smiled darkly at me, wickedly. When she spoke, the words were silent.

A gaping dread filled me. This wasn’t the ecstasy of union or the joy of being around Bella. It was seperation, a yawning gap between us that was cold like the wind. It hurt in that unspeakable way that depression or anxiety gnaws at the mind.

I was suddenly feeling near tears. My arms were wrapped protectively over my stomach. “Bella,” I protested, pleading. This felt awful. I had lost something precious and now every cell in my body was mourning.

She reached down and I pawed at her pathetically, trying to unify through touch, to drag her closer. But all she did was unclip the leash. “Stay here and rot a bit,” she snapped as she wrapped the leash back around her wrist. “Think on what you’ve said.”

“B-” I wanted to protest and cry out her name all at once, but she was walking away, her back already turned to me. The door slammed shut behind her.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, heart feeling like it was ripping open in my chest.

It took me about an hour to get off the floor and to stop sobbing like a baby. I couldn’t control it. No matter how much I told myself that it was just seperation from Bella and that I was physically fine, I couldn’t stop the pain.

The worst part was that I knew what she had done. I knew it was a spell of some sort, or whatever it was her word-power was. It was merely those words! But it hurt like a knife through me. My thoughts kept slipping away into blinding pain, and I kept forgetting that this wasn’t ‘real’. That this was just a spell. I found myself sobbing like I’d just lost a limb, and wishing that I hadn’t been so foolish.

Then I remembered that I hadn’t even said anything against Bella. I’d merely thought it. That fact flew me into a rage. How dared she do this to me! It was me who defeated the Sky God for HER! I was her best, her favourite, and she had no right!

I struggled to my feet, wiping my tears on the back of my hands. There! No more crying! Bella, you ungrateful bitch-

Just as I thought that, I remembered (or was I told through the hive in some way?) that Bella could hear me. That, and there was footsteps running towards the door.

I braced myself for whatever was to come. Was someone come to beat me for thinking so much? Well, bring it!

The door swung open, and it was Bella.

“Really?” she hissed, shutting the door behind herself.

I staggered. Every part of me was screaming out for her. I wanted her in the worst way. The idea of being on my knees for her flashed through my mind as such a beautiful idea, so soothing, so wholesome and completing.

No, no! I was angry and it was her fault – but that idea was slippery, gliding out of my mind the moment I didn’t focus just on it.

I blinked, and Bella was before me. My mind was skipping through black windows. I hadn’t seen her walk over, didn’t see her move, but now her hand was in my hair. Another black window, and my mind was blank. What was I angry about anymore? It felt stupid, and I knew that whatever it was, it was my fault.

That knowledge sure in my mind, I felt myself collapse, exhausted and wanting nothing more than comfort. My knees slammed into the floor and I hugged at her legs, but was dragged back by my hair.

“Shhh, there now,” Bella said soothingly, combing my hair from my face with one hand while holding me in a death-grip with the other. “Are you sorry now?”

I choked on a sob, nodding as I blinked through tears.

“You won’t do it again, will you?” Bella asked, just her voice being not enough. It soothed, but it was like a trickle in a desert and I needed more. I was burning for her, to be reunited with her. It felt like I couldn’t exist without her. Desperate, I nodded.

Her hands caressed my shoulders. She had crouched down and was hugging me to her chest. “You’re so disobedient, you’ve been so bad,” she crooned, holding me tight. “You’re a bad slave, Chaos.”

I whimpered, clutching at her.

“I love you anyways,” she whispered into my ear. “You know that, don’t you? I love you like no one else ever will.”

A sob tore through me – and then she spoke the words. It was sheer relief. Like a light through the mind. Like a cold compress on burning heat. There really is no words to express it. It made me gasp, and my entire body relaxed, sagging against her.

Bella shushed me, cuddling me against her. But, for a flicker, I wanted to draw away. I felt like I had a head again, like I could think. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts to digest what had happened.

But then, like a bite, there was sharp ecstasy. The pleasure of being with Bella. The euphoria. It was not too strong, more like the scent of a spring breeze. But it was enough to send me into a fit of giggles against her.

My head was pulled back and I was looking into Bella’s eyes. “Well?” she said softly. “Better now?” To which I nodded, gulping back tears that seemed pointless now. “Good,” she murmured, wiping my tears away with her gloved fingers. “Don’t ever do that again.” and she kissed me passionately, claiming me. I gave way eagerly, wanting nothing more than to be hers, to receive more of the ecstasy. But she didn’t give me any more. I was lifted up to my feet a moment later and instructed to rest in bed for the remainder of the day. I protested at first, wanting to spend it with her, but the moment I lay down I realized that, indeed, I was exhausted. Too much emotions, I thought before I drifted off to sleep.


Be-fucking-hold! Queen Adelaide, Ladies and Gentlemen and folks in between!

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This, if you haven’t been reading along with the story, is massive spoilers, by the way. If you have, it’s probably still spoilers. This is Adelaide’s end form/final mutation from the story ‘Of Adelaide and Shadow’. So WHY oh fucking why am I sharing it?

To motivate myself, selfishly. I have been so focused upon Chaos’ story that I have totally left Farfadel in the dust. But you know, Farfadel is one of those stories that is close to my heart so… I must continue to share it!

So let me tell you a little bit about Adelaide, for those who are wondering ‘Is this a story I’d want to read?’.

Adelaide is a princess who grows into a Queen. She starts off insecure but devious, and ends up, well, bad-ass. She literally rules the world and shapes Farfadel into what it will be, and is constantly referenced in later Farfadel novels. So if you like humor, fairy tales centering around a woman who grows in strength and awesomeness -> this is the story for you!

Join me, one and all, in reading ‘Of Adelaide and Shadow’!

“My Name is Chaos”; Chapter Fifteen, Part One

I made it two steps out into the world between worlds before I thought I was an idiot. A goof. A slug who was throwing their life away.

The fact that, any moment now, I could just turn around and get help, it was a nagging ache. Worse, every second that I ignored the ache cemented that I was never going back. I had made my choice and, deep within, it was holding fast.

I liked to contemplate that I would change my mind. I kept telling myself that, at the next crossroads, or after the portal, or when I saw Bella’s body, I’d rethink things, all while knowing that I would do no such thing.

To get to earth, I needed a portal. Like many spirits, I had no means to make one myself, hardly being that powerful, and indeed, not having permission to do so myself. But, like anything, it could be found in hell for a price. You just had to know where to look. And I, being me, just so happened to know that the very best place to look was where it wasn’t supposed to be.

“Hey,” I said as I approached Lucifer’s throne. Because, yeah, the guy who was supposed to keep this place in line was also the one who sold everything to keep it out of line.

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Lucifer on his throne

Lucifer, at least this representation/part of him (who knew if it was just a part of himself while the rest of his soul went off doing something stupid?), was draped across his throne. In hues of black and silver, he shimmered like starlight, his silver hair hanging around him like curtains. His face was decorated with a veil-like array of fine chains that dangled from piercings. Bright blue eyes shone out, tokens of his once angel-hood.

He tutted at me. “Darling, I’ve heard you weren’t well. Come here and tell me all about it.” And he reached out a lanky arm. I knew better than to say no. Lucifer was huggy, if anything just to give people the creeps by touching them constantly. It was especially hard to navigate someone who wanted to hug you persistently.

So I sat beside his throne, the usual place a supplicant found themselves, and his arm draped around my shoulders. Instantly it was like a hissing cat roused within me.

“Mine,” I clearly heard within my head as an itching sort of anger swept over me.

“Uh,” I jumped up, swiping Lucifer’s arm from me as fast as I could.

“Oh?” Lucifer asked casually. I froze. Was there some sort of punishment for spiting Lucifer? There was a certain glimmer to his eyes – was he angry now?

“Aww, I see,” Lucifer crooned. With a stretch he took a grip on my shoulder and dragged me to stand before him. Distracted by his glittering eyes, I didn’t see his leg sweep out as he straightened. My feet were kicked out from beneath me and I landed on the stone floor on my knees.

Yeah, ouch.

“Well hello,” Lucifer said, propping a foot up on my shoulder. I winced as his heel dug in, but then he added the weight of his other leg to it.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked.

“You should be!” he said happily. “Lying to angels like that. Tut-tut, Chaos. You know they’re looking all over for your little girlfriend?”

Inside, I felt a strange coolness. Bella was furious, but calm. She knew how to play this game it would seem.

But me? I wanted to protect her. So I opened my mouth, about to spout something about not knowing what he was talking about.

“Oh no, spare me that,” said Lucifer, holding up a hand dramatically. “I don’t want to talk with you. Summon your mistress, little slave.”

My jaw clamped shut. Humiliation spread over me and I gritted my teeth angrily. How dared he talk to me like that? He wasn’t the boss of me! “You-”

But I was cut off from within. Suddenly I felt myself callously shunted aside, crashing into a corner of myself. My limbs were moving but I had no control over them.

My hands shoved Lucifer’s feet from my shoulder. “Good morning,” Bella’s voice said coldly.

“Oh hey, doll!” Lucifer grinned, crossing one leg over the other knee. “I hope you don’t mind, I was using your footstool.”

Footstool? I wanted to squawk in horror. Bella didn’t seem to care. She was on her (mine?) feet now and dusting herself off. “I need a portal,” she was saying through me. “My slave is going to fetch my body on earth.”

Lucifer tutted. “Darling, everyone’s been looking for you. You know, I could make a lot of money if I told them where you are.”

Bella snorted. “As if you will. Give me a portal.”

“You know, I want a personal slave too,” Lucifer whined. He held up a hand, pretending to investigate his manicured fingernails.

“Lucifer!” Bella barked. Then, as he raised his eyebrows, she checked herself. “Lucifer,” she said politely. “I really need a portal.”

Lucifer waved his fingers at himself, making his rings glimmer. Bella continued. “I can pay you,” she said sweetly. I could feel her smile on my face.

“Of course you’re going to pay me,” drawled Lucifer. “But in what?”

Bella hesitated. “I can bring you some souls?” she offered.

Lucifer dropped his hand into his lap. “I like it when payment benefits everyone. Darling, you want to rule the three realms? Isn’t that it?”

“I want Nirvana,” Bella said cautiously. “Only one of the realms.”

“Only the strongest,” drawled Lucifer with a drag Queen-esque flip of the hand. “Now listen to me, chickling. I’ll give you a portal, and you will go get your body back, but you have to challenge God to a duel afterwards. It’s time someone dethrones the old fart.”

Bella hesitated.

“A duel, that’s all,” said Lucifer. “and as the prize, you’ll wager the rulership of the sky realm. Don’t you think it’ll be a lot easier to get into Nirvana if you can wage war against it with the power of the hordes of angels and demons, instead of your little piddly vampire-army? Hmm, girl?”

Bella hesitated again. I knew why. Lucifer was one to give gifts – at a price. “What do you want in return?” she asked cautiously.

“Oh, you know, I really just want to see that old deity crushed under someone’s heel,” he said viciously, bringing his fingers to his lip. “But, ah, for payment – hmmm we shall see.”

“We shall see?” Bella asked sharply. “I don’t think so.”

Lucifer flipped out a hand. In his palm, a miniature portal hovered, glowing a dark purple. “You don’t want a portal, darling?”

Bella gulped. Lucifer’s fingers waved around the portal. “I’ll make sure the angels look away as your slave travels,” he cooed.

Don’t do it! I thought as loudly as I could.

Bella hesitated.

Lucifer pouted. “Of course, if you don’t want it, I’ll have to respect my agreements to the ruling heavens and bla bla bla, you know how divine paperwork is, and,” he shrugged “I’ll have to turn you and your slave in to the angels.”

Bella grimaced.

Lucifer tilted his head. “As a great leader once said,” and he paused for dramatic effect, making a pitiable face “’Sad’.”

Bella scowled. “Fine!” she reached forward. “Give me the portal!”

“Ecx-el-lent!” Lucifer cheered, dropping the portal into my palm. It was heavy but Bella’s strength allowed me to hold it. “There you go darling. Use it well!” Now grinning most viciously, he kicked his legs up onto his armrest and returned to draping across his throne.

Bella smiled nastily in return. I felt her sarcasm, but at the same time her glee. With Lucifer officially on her side, she was one step closer to Nirvana.