Coloring Book Mayhem!

Chaos, my friends! Utter, unbridled, chaos!

Or, at least, that’s what it feels like. What’s really happening behind the scenes is lots of coffee, lots of heavy metal, and scraps of inspiration.

You see, I’m still trying to regain mental footing (when am I not?) and I’m working at least part of my day on the upcoming Farfadelian coloring book (EEEEEE!).

If that doesn’t sound like mayhem to you, that’s because you’re not in my head. I tell you -> you need a LOT of drawing ideas to make fifty pages of coloring stuff. Wow. What an exercise.

At first, I relied on inspiration and ‘concepts’. Then, I began taking cute animal pictures and redrawing them to my tastes. Now? I’m grabbing random poses and drawing them out with lots of magic and cuteness involved.

All in all, I think it will make a lovely grab-bag of content, for real. There will be dragons and fairies and magical mushrooms a plenty! I just have to get through it!

Currently, I’m on page thirty three, out of fifty! Not all of them are inked or finished yet, but at least I’m there.

I’m hoping to have the book ready for spring, that is, March or April. It is technically feasible, realistic, and so I should be able to do it. Wish me luck!

A quick snapshot of one of my sketches!

Lage’s Game Thoughts and SPOILERS

Well! This story has been getting exciting lately! I have to say, I haven’t been expecting one very important thing that has developed in this story and that is -> the main character (who desperately needs a name!).

Wow, she is one angry and violent kid/teen. When I first began writing, she was basically a blank slate to me. I didn’t think much of her, to be honest. I was kind of ‘eh, a kid’. Now I’m honestly not sure if she’ll become a villain or what. Or maybe she’ll become a villain then redeem herself? That’d be funky!

But hey, she’s something. She definitely feels like a powerhouse of emotion to me, strong emotions, and so angry. Which (to me) makes sense. I mean, her whole world fell apart.

Now, when I was much younger (back in ye olde days, haha), I was very angry. I was borderline violent. So, yeah, I’m basing her a bit off my experiences with anger. But to be clear, I’m basing myself off of my own anger in order to understand hers. I’m not projecting, I’m rather using mine as a lens with which to views hers, but hers is a clear shape of its own. I just – I really want to emphasize to you all that she, really, is angry and separate from my own experiences of anger. Because, wow, that’s not the kind of anger I generally want to express. But she’s so angry!

And so intent on violence too. She wants bloody revenge. Will she get it? I’m entirely not sure. What kind of relationship will she have with Lage (the dude in green)? I’m beginning to think that their relationship won’t be the happy new father/daughter that I had first thought they’d have. Now I’m wondering if she’s not a loose cannonball that he’s going to try and contain, while being under her thumb (or will he not be under her thumb? Hmmm.).

So yeah, I’m getting more and more excited for this story, to be honest. It’s really growing on me. I like the main character more and more and yeah, the story is growing to be complex, I can just feel it. Thrilling!

Anyways, as usual, I really hope y’all are enjoying the story so far. I certainly am! Much love to you all ❤

Lage’s Game Main Character Sketch -> she really needs a name!

Adorable Adoption story (SPOILERS)

So, this post is just going to be one massive spoiler for Ranger’s story. But it’s what I’ve got on my mind right now, so here goes!

So, in Ranger’s story there’s a rebel group led (sort of) by this woman called Allegra and her sidekick fiancee Ryo. They’re not the kind of ‘good guy’ rebels like in Star Wars, by far. In older versions of the story they were the principal badguys, modeled very loosely upon my childhood’s scrappy understanding of a variety of secret services. What it boils down to, is that they’re not quite the good or bad guys in the latest version of the story. I find them sort of likeable, but their actions are quite questionable, if not downright villainous, and I’m not going to even try and defend them. They’re not the good guys, I’m telling you.

But here’s the thing. Today, I wasn’t able to write fiction. I just kept drawing and drawing, and while drawing I thought of what a happy couple they are, and then, BAM! I remembered an old plotline I’d cooked up for them years ago -> They adopt a child.

Here’s how it goes: because they are part of a religious organization (their rebellion is fueled by religious reasonings), a nun talks them into adopting a rebellious child, because, you know, it’s their duty to help preserve the faith and protect the next generation. So, you have these two hard-asses with scarification on their faces (Allegra is a sniper and kills a bunch of people during the story) and Ryo (child genius turned massive IT tech who also knows how to fight and is in charge when Allegra’s not around), who have never liked society or gotten along well with ‘normal people’, suddenly… living in a house with a white picket fence during the week and attending parent-teacher school meetings. Pretending to be normal to give their child the best and most stable rearing.

I mean, they would be so awkward as normal people, but such dedicated parents. Imagine them moving into a house and having the neighbors come visit and be all ‘hello who are you?’ and they, on the spot, having to invent a back story for themselves that’s as unsuspecting as possible. They would have to pretend to be, like, working in a factory or something. And the parent-teacher reunions! And the child tantrums!

I promise I don’t have baby fever, y’all. I’m just thinking of what a hilarious and adorable little family they’d be. And wouldn’t it be funny if they try and get their kid into a private school? I’m imagining them trying to sit and speak with the principal/whoever you have to sit with to get your kid into a private school (obviously they’d have no clue what they’re doing). They’d have to pretend to be polite factory workers but in the back of their heads they’re like ‘I just want to murder you!’. And then dealing with the other superior-acting parents.

I don’t know how this will actually pan out when I get there in the story, but right now, it’s hilarious in my head, and I really wanted to share.

This is them, Allegra is the one on the left and Ryo on the right. The lines around Allegra’s eyes are the scars, and Ryo has a snake scarified onto his cheek. Also, I’m not quite sure what Ryo is wearing. I always drew/pictured him wearing tunic/arabian-ish clothing. He’s supposed to have dark skin but be of unknown descent by having been adopted. Allegra is generally supposed to be pale-ish, maybe tan. I’m not sure and really, it doesn’t quite matter (unlike other ethnicities in the story that are actually important and plot-relevant).

allegra ryo point

So that’s that, my lovelies. I hope this made you giggle a little, and makes you excited to read Ranger’s story whenever it will be ready to be read.

As always, I wish you all the best. 🙂 Have a lovely day/evening!

So Chaos is over! Now What?

Wow! I’m so happy and excited to say that now, finally, Chaos’s novel is done with and all posted. I mean, it needs some massive editing action happening all over it, but hey. Close enough. So what’s next?

My dear mother asked me yesterday if I had any writing goals for the coming year. I bumbled off that I was, you know, going to keep writing, and that made me realize that I should maybe have goals. I need goals so that I have things to strive towards and markers to tell me that I will have, indeed, succeeded.

So what are my goals? Well, I think I have several that are stewing around in the back of my mind.

  • I’d like to make Chaos’ novel into a comic book. Yeah, I’m a masochist, I know. But – Chaos! Comic book! Much fun, much pictures, much action! Much growth as an artist! Really, I think it’ll do me good. I’m stagnating art-wise and I feel this is the next step. Will I succeed? Will I be able to stay motivated and just do it? I’m not sure. I hope I can.
  • I want to finish writing and publish here (and on amazon) my next dream-inspired story (which is actually several years old).
  • I want to edit and publish Chaos’ novel on Amazon. Yeah.
  • I want to finish another Farfadel novel, and maybe edit and publish it.
  • I want to finish the artwork for a tarot deck I’m coming up with. What? Me? A tarot deck? Hell yes. I’ve been wanting to do one for ages now, and I’m making one as of a few months ago. The only clue to the theme that I’ll give you is this: it will be ‘cute’.
  • I want to finish the rough draft for Ranger’s story. This is a big deal because, surprisingly, I know how Ranger’s story is supposed to end. Unlike so many other story ideas, Ranger’s story has key points and almost a plot mapped out. Except the plot has massive, gaping, giant dinosaur sized holes. Yeah. I gotta write it out and solve all that.
  • I want to make at least one more coloring book, and hopefully another birdie book as well.

What else? Is that enough? No! Here are my networking goals.

  • I want to get my print books (as well as their bookmarks) in local indie bookstores in my area. I’m hoping to get my coloring books out in time for their seasons, as well as ‘A Tale of Two Queens’ out.
  • I want to attend a local authors’ event, such as ‘Le Salon du Livre’, and see if it’s somewhere I want to attend as an author.
  • I’m hoping to get my books advertised at local lgbt groups and events.
  • Do several author collabs!

Aaaand, I think that’s enough. We shall see if more comes up, haha. But for now that’s my author-centric goals for this year.

Oh, and for the next few days, because you’ve all been such awesome readers, I want to share with you all the ‘behind the scenes’ of Chaos’ story. I will tell you all about my inspirations and thoughts behind the novel! Stay tuned to discover the source of Bella’s mystical powers, why she had a bone against the Buddha, and mooooooooore.

So here, as a goodie, is the lineart for the (hopefully) cover of the new story that I will be posting soon! Which, coincidentally, I still need a title for… Hmmmm…. Anyways, I wish you all a great day and evening and happy reading!sketch dream character.jpg

Chaotic Comic Book Chapter Eleven Part Two

Happy holidays everyone! Here’s an impromptu gift -> a sneak peek at what I’ve been struggling with lately! I’m showing this to you because I think, finally, that I have a result that I like. It’s not entirely everything, I have a small stack of sketches that I’m hoarding, but this is what I’ve colored in successfully.

Again, what will I do with it long-term? I’m not sure. But if I do succeed in drawing out the whole chaos story – I might just try and sell it instead of posting it for free because it’s a HELLA LOT of work. But then again – will I really do that, or just a little bit? I’m not sure. Either way, I’m super proud that I managed to do what I’ve done, and really want to keep up with it. I really enjoy it. Drawing a story out is a challenge that I haven’t done yet, especially something that’s written out (so I can’t change it to make it easier to draw!).

Anyways, I really hope you all enjoy these 🙂 Really, do let me know what you think! I know that the result is kind of scrappy and not the cleanest looking, but I kind of like it like that. It sort of looks like a kid drew half of it. I know I could be way more perfectionist and demand more precision, more finesse (better scenery, cough cough), but…  this is a style that I feel I could upkeep without too much mental strain or anxiety. This also integrates my sort of sketchy miniature style with my more detailed style. Plus, hey, I like it.


ink chap 2 1.jpeg


ink chap 2 2.jpeg


ink chap 2 3.jpeg


ink chap 2 4

A Chaotic Comic Book?

Yes, I am full of Chaos-centric puns! However, I am also full of neck pain from spending so much time drawing!

How is the comic book coming along? Uhm, well, it’s happening? It’s painful? It’s not like I can’t draw the pictures, but more like I’m not good at designing the layout. Plus I’m used to drawing leisurely, so I have a tendency to just stop and think things over Way Too Much. Also, I’m snagging on the style. I was expecting to go totally graphic-novel and color everything in and… nah. Just, nah. It took me So Long to color in the picture that features in chapter ten, part two, that I wanted to give up on everything.

Here’s a Secret: I hate coloring. It takes forever. It feels pointless. I much prefer black and white.

So, putting my metaphorical foot down, I’m deciding to make this comic book mine. What does that mean? The question arose when I was suddenly inspired to add in stupid expressions. I was all ‘hey self, I shouldn’t do that because it’ll look goofy’ and then I was like ‘but it’s MY comic book! I’mma make it like I want and it’ll be goofy and dumb!’.

Because, you know, I was hoping for it to look super serious and epic. But instead, I’ve got some sketches that are just like this:

chaos comic page 2 2


And, really, I’m not sure what I’ll be doing with this comic. Will I keep it up for the whole rest of the novel? So far I’m thinking that I’ll keep it up as practice, and once I get ‘good’ at it, I’ll reevaluate and (hopefully) start over from the beginning and make it a good comic.

But will I publish this? Will I post it for free as well? I don’t know. So far I got all of three pages done out of eight, which was all only one part of a chapter! That’s not a whole lot! And it felt like it took forever!

The upside is that I can totally see this improving my drawing skills, which is very inspiring.

Anyways, I just wanted to share with y’all how it’s going. It’s been fun to try, and I really want to keep you all in the loop. 🙂



A Comic Book? Chaotic Author Thoughts!

When someone suggested that I turn Chaos’ novel into a comic book my immediate response was ‘yeah yeah, that’s cute’. And you know what, I DO have a tendency to get myself swamped with projects, both artsy and otherwise. But after that comment, my wifey just so happened to get me a lovely set of markers to do lineart with, along with a coloring book to practice my coloring in (that’s my excuse for a unicorn coloring book and I’m sticking to it, lol).

Anyways, long story short, last night I had way too much coffee way too late. So I stayed up until 3/4 in the morning doodling away in my coloring book and, lo and be-hold, I rediscovered my passion for coloring. Namely, mixed media. I love mixing coloring pencils, watercolor, and markers all together. It doesn’t usually work out terribly, the only downfall being the wrinkling of the paper. But the colors that come out! I love them!

So yes, after a night of fantasizing about coloring and all the pretty pictures I could make, I wondered if I could actually do the comic book or not. So I tested out my skills on Bella (the bitch), and that made the picture of this post. I really like it! I mean, it’s not the best and I still need to work out the skin tones better, but the hair looks great!

So, the verdict on the coloring book? I mean, it’s obviously a TON of work. But, but, but… I want to do it. It would just be so much fun, and I feel like my drawing skills could really grow from it. It feels like the next step in growing as an artist. But will I succeed? It’s kind of scary, actually. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to make a shitty comic either. I want to make something uber-pretty and well done!

But, you know, I’ll never know until I try it. If I succeed, y’all will certainly hear about it. If I fail, you’ll probably hear about it as well, haha.

Whelp, wish me luck!bella marker adjusted.jpg

Finally! Picture stuff!

bella pencil script

I’m seemingly always struggling with the dilemma between traditional mediums and digital art. Well today I figured out a way to really bring my colors through when scanning them! And, of course, I had to go a little haywire digitally with it. So be-hold  my latest picture, featuring Bella, with Chaos’ notes about her. (For those of you who are visually impaired, the ‘notes’ are scribbles of ‘that bitch’, ‘evil’, and exclamation marks with big red arrows pointing to Bella).

I really like this picture! I was inspired to draw it a few days ago, and the sketch gave me the idea that Bella may try and steal Jade and Aaliyah to her side of the story. So that’s the reason for her very smug and sneaky look.

I hope you all enjoyed it! Feel free to share it if you’d like. Remember, if ever you feel inspired to draw my characters, it’d make me squeal!

Mental Illness and Writing – Again?!

One thing that I think is peculiar to me and my kind of weirdness (please feel free to prove me wrong! I’d like to not be the only one, haha) is my relationship with music and writing.

Now, I’ve already mentioned that I get inspiration/messages from my dreams. Well, a similar thing happens with music. I will get a song stuck in my head as a sort of ‘message’. No, it’s not the same thing as just having a song stuck in your head. This kind of ‘stuck in your head’ is obsessive. It carries meaning and weight to it.

Inevitably, or at least quite often, this gets mixed in with my writing process. For example, yesterday I had inspiration for a new story (Yeah!). Today, for the third time, I went to try and begin writing that story. And for the third time, it’s flopping. I want it so bad but no words are coming. One could say it’s not ‘manifesting’.

new story couple.jpeg
Here is the picture I drew today of the future characters!

And yet – I was able to draw the characters, with a certain song playing (and only this song) – The Bells of Notre Dame. As I listened to this song on repeat, I felt like the song was talking to me. I felt like it had a message for me, if only I could grasp it.

But did I grasp it? Not quite, not yet. I feel like I’ve gotten hints but not the whole picture. Maybe more will come when I sit down to write yet again. Definitely, I will be drawing inspiration for it and trying to use it to set the tone/theme of the story. But further than that, it’s hard to put into words what the music ‘teaches’ us in these moments. Certainly I can say some things like ‘focus on this character more than that one’ and ‘there’s probably lots of doom and gloom’ – but how do you explain getting that out of a song? I can’t. I like to just stick the song in a playlist that I’ve made for my writing, and just let the magic happen. I tell myself it’s maybe a sign from the gods. On the worst of days I tell myself it’s nothing.

But it is something. And I wish I knew what. I wish I knew whether this was a symptom of paranoia or a hallucination, or whether it was a sign from the gods.

Because, the thing that’s miserable in all this, is that music used to really be a source of hallucination for me. It used to speak to me, drive me into ecstatic states, and always felt like it was on the verge of being a language in my head. So is this just a leftover from those experiences? I hope not.

If anyone has similar experiences, I’d love to hear them, really.