“My Name is Chaos 2”; Chapter Two, Part One

Oh, okay. I looked around again. This was definitely a bedroom. An adult bedroom, by the looks of it. There was just the bed, dresser drawers, and some paraphnelia and gadgets and piles of clothes – but nothing else. With a second glance, I realized the woman wasn’t that old. About my age, maybe a year older?

Okay, okay. I propped myself up on an elbow carefully. Time to get out of here. Where the fuck was I anyways?

I brushed the blankets off of me, swept my legs out of bed – and she stirred.

She mumbled something, flinging an arm out. I dodged it and rose to my feet. Okay, I was safe?

Sniff sniff. I swear, she sniffed the air. I turned just in time to see her bolt up, eyes flaring wide open.

She was medium height and relatively average build for a woman. She had black hair that was cut in a plain bob. Nothing exceptional except for her large, green, cat-like eyes and cat-like face..

But uh, something had to be exceptional about her, because she didn’t start screaming at the sight of me, just out of her bed. “Goryeo?” she called, or something like that.

Shit, servants? I looked at the bedroom door, but no one came. She called again. Then, looking around, she asked “Who are you? Where’s Goryeo?” and she looked around again.

“I- I’m leaving,” and I marched around the bed to get to the door.

She snatched my arm in a vice grip, yanking me to a stop. She shouted that g- something again. But there was no answer.

On her feet now (and dressed in light blue fluffy pj’s) she was at my side. “Who are you?” she demanded, glaring into my eyes. I tried to shake her off, but her grip wouldn’t go, and now she was between me and the door.

“I’m leaving!” I enunciated in her face. “Get out of my way!”

She got up in my face, as if we were taking turns yelling. “Who? Are you? Where’s? My boyfriend?”

and she held up a fist between us menacingly. Cute.

I pushed her fist away. “Don’t make me fight you. Now get the fuck out of my way. Now.”

Wham. That was one punch to the stomach that I didn’t see coming. It was perfectly aimed, knocking the breath right out of me in a most painful way.

Gasping for air, I was yanked up into her face by the shoudler.

“Don’t make me ask again,” she hissed, eyes wide and rabid. “Who are you?”

“Chaos,” I gasped as I got some air back into me. “I’m Chaos.”

“Who sent you?!” she barked, and I got the impression that she was used to this. A trained fighter? Just my fucking luck.

“Bella,” I wheezed as I could finally breathe. “I was just sent here. I’ve done nothing! I was- just sent okay?”

“By who?” she fairly yelled into my face.

“Bella!” I snapped back, shaking my shoulder to try and get free. It was pointless. She held me, eyes flaring.

“Who?” she asked, obviously clueless.

“Bella!” I repeated. “Vampire landlady? Hellion raiser? No?”

She let me go. “Have you seen Goryeo?” again with that name!

“I don’t even know what that is!” I snapped, rubbing my shoulder and wincing as I rolled it out.

She snatched up a picture from the bedside and held it up to me. “Him! My boyfriend!”

Aww, crap. It was one of those cute couple selfie pictures where their heads were together and they were smiling like idiots. And yep, it was Bella’s new lackey, looking so happy next to this woman.

“Oh,” I said flatly.

She lowered the picture. “Where is he?”

I gulped. “I uh- he’s the one who sent me here? He’s with Bella.”

“Who is this? Where is she?”

I rubbed my nose awkwardly. “Uh, they’re probably sleeping together, you know. Just so you know.”

She looked absolutely unfazed, like I’d said ‘they’re probably breathing air’. She even tilted her head to the side like i’d said something extra dumb. She pointed again to the picture. “Where is he?”

“Canada, Quebec, definitely not Nunavut – look it’s the vampire place, okay? You won’t be able to just waltz right in and -” I paused, catching a glimpse of the window. Of the open window. It had flimsy curtains over it, but there was a warm breeze coming through it, along with sunlight. “Where am I?” I asked. “Hawaii?”

“Ha- what?” her eyes narrowed. “Which world are you from?”

I just ogled her on that one. “The god realm,” I said slowly. “But isn’t this the incarnate plane?”

She just stared at me. “You’re a spirit?”

I put on a cheezy grin. “Yeah I-”

“Then what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was sent here! By-” I gestured to the picture. “Him.”

She wrapped her arms protectively around the picture, frowning. Then, as if second guessing her thoughts, she set the picture back down on the handtable. “We need to talk,” she said flatly. “Do you drink tea?”

“Ech,” I grumbled. What was it with people and leaf-water? “No.”

She gave me a nonplussed look. “Coffee then?”

I nodded.

////

The apartment was ridiculously tiny, but cute. Cozy, even. Just in case you didn’t know who lived here, there were pictures of the couple up on the wall in a multi-picture frame, along with some other people.

“That’s our cube’s pictures,” she said as she set a steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee on the dinky little wooden table. She set a cup of tea for herself, then sat on one side of the table. She gestured at the other chair. “Sit. I’m Charr, by the way.”

“Chaos,” I muttered as I sat. She hadn’t asked me what I wanted in my coffee, and it was black. Meh.

I was expecting a moment of silence. But she just sipped her tea, set it down, and started. “Where are you from? Tell me everything.”

“I told you-”

But she cut me off. “Your world. What’s happening there? You say Goryeo sent you. Was it far, when he sent you? Did you,” she hesitated “cross dimensions?”

I just blinked. How did she know about that? Unless – “Does he do this often?”

“Shit,” she muttered, pressing fingertips to her forehead. Then, to me she said “no, but he’s a natural wielder – he can travel and send people and control energy and souls.”

No shit. I tried not to look impressed, but being quite secretly jealous. Bella had leveled up after me, I guess. “And you?” I asked.

She was nonplussed. “I was a shield for the academy,” at the blankness in my expression she added “a bodyguard of sorts, you could say. Magical bodyguard.”

“Cool,” I nodded, trying not to be impressed. I felt kind of lame next to these two for some reason. I was, uh, screw-up extraordinaire?

“Tell me more,” she said. “Who is this – Bella? Person?”

So I told her. I went into a long schpiel about how there had been a vampire uprising that I’d been sent to deal with, that I switched sides to help Bella, and uh, well, I glossed over a bunch of points. Mainly that I’d fallen for her, and that, you know, she’d used me like a tissue. Or a shooting target. Something of the sort.

I finished with summarizing that I’d been captured by the army, sent to Bella, who then sent me here.

Charr made a frownie face, like she was really thinking this through. “Is it me or you’re getting sent around a lot?”

I nodded. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“My Name is Chaos”; Chapter Thirteen, Part Two

“If you can tell us what they believe, we may have a chance to stop her,” said the angel sternly. “We need either a tactical defeat, or a public one to prove she isn’t all that powerful.”

Yet, I added silently. Not that powerful yet. But I shook my head. I couldn’t tell them. “I wasn’t awakened, they said. So they didn’t tell me. But they were all very devoted to her.”

“We know that,” said the angel dryly. “Even you seemed quite taken by her.”

I nodded miserably. “She has a charm to her.”

“Must be quite the charm. She had a gun to your head and you didn’t seem to care.”

I didn’t answer, chewing my bottom lip. Well, bugger. Bella had quite the ambition, it would seem.

“Can you tell us anything about them? Any detail about what drove them to her?” father asked gently.

I shook my head. But I spoke. “They were all really nice. I didn’t think they were holding me hostage. They just asked me to visit around, then to walk with them to the portal where she pulled the gun out – I,” wow, it sounded stupid when I said it like that. “They were all really nice,” I repeated, defeated by those questioning glares.

“And the vampires?” asked the angel. “Did you encounter them at all?”

“It was them, they were super nice. Docile. You’d think they were tame or something.”

“Drugged, more likely,” declared the angel. “and the werewolves?”

“They were actually around the vampires. Co existing. It was – weird,” But only now that I thought back on it. How come I hadn’t noticed this as weird before? Oh yeah, I knew why. “Why hadn’t you told me that there were werewolves involved?” I hated those things!

The angel shook his head. “We had no clue that they were involved, or even missing. This has taken us quite by surprise too, you must know that.”

I hummed and nodded, pretending to care. Truth was, I didn’t. No, I felt that somewhere in my heart, we’d become divided. I just felt I couldn’t trust them, so did it matter whether they’d known about the werewolves or not? It should have, but it didn’t matter to me anymore.

The angels waited, seeming to want to prod me with something else. I raised my eyebrows at them, challenging them to spit it out.

“So, you are maybe mortal now,” said the angel testily.

Father stiffened. Mother’s expression grew dark. And you know it’s bad when the angel of life looks dark.

I guess I was supposed to squirm and look all miserable. Truth was, I couldn’t care less. I had bigger fish to fry on my plate. “Okay,” I said quietly, refusing to mention that I may have been given an antidote. Or maybe not. Who knew with Bella, really?

The angels tapped their fingers together, exchanging glances. Their leader seemed uncertain. “There is no antidote without knowing th eoriginal recipe, having the blood and intentions of the caster-”

“I know,” I said dryly. But there was a pang in me. “What about Al?”

“Definitely mortal,” said the angel without hesitation. “I’m sorry.”

I looked back down at my hands, and found that I didn’t care. I was just angry. Angry with the angels, angry with the humans – and confused. I wanted them gone. I wanted – Bella. I wanted to speak with her. To commune with her in that strange way again. To feel her presence and be comforted, truly.

But as all that went through my mind, there was no way to say it. So I just nodded and held my silence.

The angels seemed to have been waiting for something, again. I scowled at them. “Now what?”

They took it differently than I had intended. “Now, we have to find a way to stop this. You, it would seem, are our biggest ally. None of the vampires are telling us how they feel, or what it was that caused their strange behavior. They’re even coexisting near werewolves, as you say. We need to stop this-”

“Why?” I blurted. All heads turned to me. I shrugged, pretending nonchalance. “What’s so bad? So the vampires aren’t hating on their lunches. Big deal.”

Now the smallest of the angels spoke. “You idiot. Bella hasn’t been caught yet.”

There were shushes all around the table, and the sullen angel scowled around.

“Oh?” I asked, trying to sound casual and not to squirm guiltily. Like, I knew right where she was and they were all clueless.

“She vanished as she died,” said Father gently. “She didn’t come to me, and no one saw where she went.”

Probably because I was causing such a scene, and there was all the humans around to cloud the vision and make things muddy for spirits. Like finding a person in a crowded room. But hey, all she had to do was hop right into me. It probably was easy because of the bond we shared. A special bond, I liked to think.

I fidgeted. “So?”

The head angel sighed. “Chaos, I can’t tell you how dangerous she is. It is very difficult to unite the hellions. Lucifer is always struggling to keep his armies together. To disrupt this careful balance, to try and destroy the sky realms and earth realms to invade nirvana-”

“I don’t think she wanted to destroy anything,” I snapped coldly.

The angel continued. “You don’t know what she wanted. And anyone who can turn a god mortal, and goes around doing it for the sake of fun, is a problem. Is that clear?”

I pressed my lips together, knowing full well I’d just been given a black-and-white lecture. It should have been easy to understand that Bella was ‘evil’ and ‘dangerous’. But I just couldn’t. I kept thinking of her standing beside me in the snow, our shoulders nestled together as we overlooked the gentle snowy landscape.

“Chaos?”

I shook myself, looking around the table. Had I drifted off?

“I think you need to rest,” said Father gently. “Lots of rest, and to change your mind.”

“Yes,” said the angel chief promptly. He rose from his chair. “Lots of rest. For you, the adventure is over. Let us know if you feel any changes or sudden impulses. It could be invaluable information.”

“Sure,” I said lamely.

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Seven, Part One

Not to be a pain buuuut – I’m really loving this story now! It’s super interesting to me, and I just want to keep writing it and writing! I’m so excited to explore Bella and what she’s up to! I’d love to hear some feedback on her, and especially what happens in the chapel here. Let me know what y’all think! I hope you’re having a nice day 🙂

////////

Speaking of cold, it was cold. Very cold. Icy cold. Freeze-in-your-nostrils kind of cold. Mist up and freeze on your face cold. And there Bella was, wearing a bomber jacket styled winter coat, jeans (with zippers and chains on the side!) and a black wool hat. She had a large smile on, as if she just couldn’t get enough of this white crap everywhere as we walked down the road. Ugh. Also, she was wearing an eye patch to cover her red eye. I was wondering why she was wearing the stupid eye patch when she began talking.

“Your friend Mark tried to run away last night,” she said so happily that I almost didn’t understand the meaning of her words.

“He what?”

She turned that simple smile to me. It looked so pure. It felt pure, like she didn’t have a bone of malice in her body. “Oh, he’s been restrained so he won’t hurt himself,” she said sweetly. “Don’t worry.”

“Hurt himself?” I echoed, almost stopping in my tracks. What was that evil-person code for? Were they torturing him?

“Oh, he was very distraught,” she said before heaving a sigh. “It’s unfortunate.”

“What’s unfortunate? What have you done with him?” I tried to run up before her but she held out an arm, winding me in the face as I tried to pass here. I doubled over, clutching at my poor nose. There were snorts of derision from the troupe of vampires around us. When I looked up, Bella had come to a stop next to some funny looking machines that were parked where the road was supposed to be. Were they motorcycles? Except they had skis on them…

“Skidoos,” she said as if reading my mind. “I guess they don’t have them in hell, do they?” and she plucked a helmet from one and handed it to me. “Watch your nose.”

I took the helmet from her, glaring barbs her way. I had half a mind to just unleash my powers and beat her to a pulp. But then I’d have to fight all her dumb minions and find the portal on my own. Hopefully this way she would lead me straight to it.

“Now you can ride with Mcfarlan,” she said, gesturing to the beefcake-in-charge from yesterday, who was popping his little head into his own helmet.

Grimly, I stalked over to him. He climbed onto the skidoo behind her majesty’s, and I followed suit. Disgusted, I took hold of the back of Mcwhatever’s jacket and hoped not to fall off. I’d been allowed to ride a motorcycle in hell, but it had been tricked so as not to bust speed limits. Like, you now you’re in hell when there’s speed limits on everything. Betcha there’s none of those in heaven.

We took off. Zooming through the city at daytime (without white crap in your face) was a totally different experience. The houses were bright and quaint around here, quickly giving way to shops and malls – and not a single car.

Well, there was over a foot of snow everywhere. Where would the cars go?

Instead there was other skidoos here and there, quickly switching to drive next to us, but always behind Bella. Pretty soon, I looked around and we were leading a whole flock of skidoos. The sound was such a racket. I wondered what the hell was going on. Was I about to be mobbed to death? A public execution of sorts? Was I breakfast for the starving hordes?

We drove up to a chapel. There Bella skidded to a halt, and the entire horde followed suit. I gawked at the number of vampires present. If it was a buffet, there certainly wasn’t enough blood in me to fill up everyone.

No, if this was her legions, then hell was empty of vampires right now. Because seriously, vampires have always been a protected species (don’t laugh) but there was so many right here.

The massive chapel was bursting full of them. They shrieked and squealed with joy as Bella came in, parting for her like the proverbial Red Sea, if the Red sea had still desperately wanted to touch Moses.

Arms were waving towards her. Babies were held out. The air was frenzied, frantic. The crowd closed right after her, blocking us from following her. Mcsomethingorother grabbed me by the shoulders and held me against him to keep me from getting torn from him by the crowd’s movement.

And that’s when it struck me. This was no army. There was no discipline, no ranks. Everyone was wearing civilian clothes and – I looked around at the screaming mouths to be sure. These were humans. We were actually a tiny patch of vampires, in a swathe of humans.

“Friends,” coeed Bella from the spot where the priest was supposed to be. The crowd silenced instantly. You could have heard a pin drop.

Faintly, someone began sobbing. Bella smiled sweetly in that direction. She had her hands on the book reading thing, and was poised to give a speech. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was really curious what she was going to say. Talk about herself as the savior of humanity or what? Vampires came in peace?

Bella began to speak. At first I thought I couldn’t hear her because she was mumbling. But then I realized there really was no sound coming from her mouth. Except I felt it inside. A strange feeling of peace invaded me. Words that made no sense began popping into my head, from some sort of angelic language. Enochian?

The crowd began to sway. I felt dizzy. The big hands on my shoulders held me steady as around us the world began to careen. The words began to hammer through me and I felt that feeling of peace intensify. Bella was walking forward towards the pews, moving her hands as if directing a chorus. The words pulsed through me and I knew I shouldn’t know them, but they took on meaning for me.

What meaning? I couldn’t put it into words. My body was numb and I was swaying back and forth with the crowd. The air pulsed around us. My eyes felt heavy and the light hurt.

The silent words began coming faster, rhythmically more and more intense. The meaning was overwhelming. It was something about peace and peace, but in such a way that… I don’t know.

Faintly, I heard sobs from the other side of the chapel. Nothing in me was disturbed. Iu knew they weren’t in danger, that nothing was in danger in this peace.

And then I cracked open. There was no other way to explain it.

It was if all of a sudden I’d broken beyond the limits of my body, of my own soul. I was no longer just me, a soul amongst so many. I could feel them, touch them. Ecstacy shone through me like a white light that radiated from within and I felt oneness with everything, everyone in this place. I could feel the energy on a different, more pure level than before. I was powerful enough to control the universe. I was beyond my own limits of existence. I could, I could –

I must have passed out. Because the last thing I remember was that pure, unbridled ecstacy. Then the next thing I knew, a voice was calling me.

“Chaos, Chaos,” a sweet voice was saying.

I felt my body being shaken, but it didn’t seem to fit me anymore. It felt foreign, like a dirty old sock you had to put on.

“Chaos,” and I recognized it as Bella. Bella! My heart thudded at the thought of her. Curiosity is what I told myself it was. In fact it was love. Adoration. Something in me craved her, because she was ecstacy.

I forced my eyes open, coming into my body and fitting into it dingily. Before me, Bella was grinning. She was patting my cheeks. At the sight of her, my soul flipped. Bella! My hand reached out and snatched at her, a strangled cry in my throat.

“Shhh,” she caught my hand and pressed it to her shoulder. My breath came ragged as emotions flooded me like a chemical rush. I knew that if only she willed it, I’d be back in that state-

“It’s alright. Stay with me,” she was saying gently and my mind had no choice but to focus on her words. I wanted them so bad. “You went under deep, didn’t you?”

I released a ragged breath. Somewhere, alarm bells were ringing in my head, but I had no idea what was happening. I’d never heard of anything like this. All there was was this feeling, and Bella. She who was taking my hand in both of hers now and squeezing it tightly while giving me such a comforting smile. “You’re okay,” she said in that sweet tone.

I gulped air. My body didn’t want to stay like this. I was like an addict needing another rush, craving it. But as Bella squeezed my hand and I looked into her blue blue eye, the burning need began to subside.

“There,” she said. “there you go. Come on, sit up.”

I was lying on a church pew. There were a few stragglign humans here and there, but the church was now fairly empty. The big beefy dude was standing beside me, glowering down smugly.

Gingerly, I managed to sit up. I wanted to barf. I was sweaty, clammy. Bella crouched before me, grinning wildly now. “So?” she asked eagerly, like we were sharing a secret. “Are we that bad?”

I took another look around. I told myself to take my hand from hers, but couldn’t. I liked her touch. I swallowed, my mouth now dry. “What happened?”

Bella patted my hand. “Secret!” And she drew up to a standing position. “Come on.”

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Five, Part One

chaos ALJust like that, she said it. “And I’m Chaos’ fiancee.”

I wanted to die of humiliation. Ugh. I crossed my arms and glared her down. “You don’t own me. What are you even doing here?”

“Wait a minute,” said the scientist, scribbling away at his pad. “Fiancee? What’s your name? Who are you?”

“Al is my ‘presenting’ name. It’s what everyone calls me, and what most people can pronounce,” she said snottily. “And,” she pointed to one of the eagles on her coat. “I’m the daughter of the Thunderbird.”

Mark looked like his brain might have exploded. “Thunderbird?”

“Native mythology,” I said, just in case, oh I don’t know, “Which no one cares about!” Which absolutely wasn’t true and I knew it, but I had to throw something at her. My dad was famous! Hers was, well… not so famous. So I considered our engagement to be a step down in my life.

She grinned. “Oh yeah, I’m just a sad little twerp compared to,” and she gestured to me. “This thing.”

“Thing?” I squawked. “You-” but I stopped myself. There was the sound of a car coming down the road.

“Hide!” hissed the scientist.

“In this snow?” Al gestured to the foot of snow all around us. “They’ll just track you.”

“Got a better idea?” I hissed, knowing that, again, she was right.

She squared her shoulders. “Stnad your ground and face them ‘like a man’,” and then she burst into sniggers.

“Oh, very funny,” I sneered.

The car rounded the bend in the distance, lights coming into view. It wasn’t driving particularly fast. Did vampires drive fast? Did they speed? There were (surprisingly) no highways in hell, so I wasn’t sure where they got their driving skills from.

“Al, do you have a dice on you?” I hissed, fidgeting. Should we stay and fight? Run and fight? How could I tell?

“You lost your dice?” she asked, completely shocked. “Wow. This is going bad.”

“I didn’t lose it, someone took it from me!”

She made a face. “That’s even worse.”

I scowled. “You go rot. Do you have a dice or not?”

She shrugged. “Of course not. I’m not an addict like you.”

The car approached, slower and slower. Al kept herself planted before us, practically in the middle of the road. She looked at the car, daring it to run her down.

It didn’t. Whoever it was drew to a stop before it even bumped her highness’ legs.

Because that’s how things always were for her. Everyone was all ‘ooo, a wise spirit!’ or ‘ooo, such majesty’ or ‘ooo, so amazeballs’. She just had to exist and people worshipped her.

And here I was, busting my ass and everyone was calling me stupid.

I wanted to throw a snowball at her face. An ice-cold explosion across the face. Would serve her right.

But uh, the car was stopped. Vampires began piling out. And like, way more than was safely allowed in a car. There was almost ten of them that had been all squished up in that car.

At their head, a big beefy guy with a waxy shaved head stepped forward. “You kids lost or something?” he sneered at Al.

Al turned to me, imitating his sneer. “Yeah, you lost or something?”

“What?” she wasn’t on my side? What the hell, Al? Fiancee from hell, indeed!

“We uh,” I held up my freezing hands to my shoulders as if I was surrendering. Just to show I had no weapons. “Uh,”

Al grinned at me. What a jerk. Such a jerk.

Heyyyyy. She was a jerk, right? And she wasn’t supposed to be here, at all. Like, full nope on the nope-scale.

I tried not to grin. “We’re hunting a demon. You may have noticed it, it killed a bunch of spawns riding in a truck the other day.”

The frown on the chunk’s face told me that yeah, maybe?

I pointed to Al. “She’s right there. Help me catch her.”

“Wait, what?” Al looked from him to me and back again and back again. She pointed to her collarbone. “Did you just – I did not-”

Yeah, I threw her under that bus.

“Be careful,” I said to the vampires. “She’s a high-level demon. She just incarnated so she’s still really powerful-”

The vampires nodded. We were now working together. Like wolves on the prowl, they stepped out to encircle Al.

Al who, to her credit, wasn’t freaking and squealing. She merely adjusted her sunglasses. “I’m going to pay you back for this, kid,” she said.

“Bite me,” I snapped.

She clicked into action like a wound-up toy that had just been let free. Wham! Punch to the beefcake’s face! Double wham! Kick and punch another vamp! Then Yoink! Up she jumped, transforming in a blink into a golden eagle that was pumping its wings and rising up, up.

Several vampires lifted guns. Oh shit.

“No don’t!” I yelped, throwing myself forward. I flung my arms out, trying to block their aim. The large beef of a dude glared me down.

“What?” he barked.

“You don’t want to kill her, you want to capture her!” I invented.

There was a pause. I glanced back up. The eagle, aka Al, had vanished over the forest.

“You’d better have a good reason to have stopped us,” intoned the bald beef.

I lowered my arms. I smelt an opportunity. And who was I to turn that down? “Take me to your leader,” I said. Eyebrows were raised all around. The scientist cleared his throat softly. I repeated, louder this time. “Take me to your leader. I want to work with you. We need to catch this demon. We can join forces.”

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Four Part Two

“Hello, Chaos,” she whispered.

“Oh, shit,” I said as I stared at the spirit sitting in the back seat.

“Language, language,” whispered the being. “Children shouldn’t swear.”

“Fuck you!” I snapped without thinking. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, well, you know,” the blob took on a haphazard shape. Now it had eyes and a mouth and was somewhat of a humanoid shape. “Someone’s gotta babysit.”

“I do not need babysitting!” I yelled.

The scientist looked to her, looked to me, and frowned. “What are you looking at?” he asked. “Is there something-” and he poked at her, going right through her.

Oh crap. She wasn’t incarnated. They couldn’t see her.

She grinned fiendishly at me. “Are you having a mental breakdown?”

Without thinking, I yelled back. “I’m not having a-” I stopped myself just in time. Glaring at her, I turned to Thor.

“There’s a demon in the back seat,” I announced dryly.

“Really?” Thor looked in the rearview mirror and frowned. “I’m not feeling it.”

“Me neither,” said the scientist in awe as he kept passing his hand through her. She kept grinning at me.

“Who is it?” asked Mark grimly. “A vampire hunter? Horseman of the apocalypse? Tell us.”

I groaned and slunk down in my chair. “It’s no one. Just a dumb, lower-level, obnoxious, demon.”

“Yeah, there’s a real dumb spirit around here,” she said loudly from the back. I wanted to plug my ears. Maybe if I ignored her she’d leave? Soon? What was she even doing here?

I threw myself around, making the scientist jump. But my glare was not for him. “How’d you get permission to come here? Huh?”

She grinned and kicked back in her seat, stretching tendril-like arms above her head. “Who said I had permission? You’re not the only rule breaker around here.”

“I have special permission!” I burst. “And I will send you back if- ”I held up my cross pendant. “Or I’ll tell my dad! And he’ll come and get you!”

She leaned forward, putting on a shrill childish voice. “Oh, I’ll tell daddy. Oh, I’m a little snitch and my name is Chaos.”

I just about turned purple in the face. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Her grin turned nasty. “Go on, call daddy. Do it.”

I thumped back into my chair, deciding to ignore her again. Whatever. Like I needed her approval.

My fingers traced the cross pendant against my chest. Should I? She wasn’t allowed to be here. What if she interfered? Would it be … bad? Or could I use this to my advantage?

Frowning, I focused on the road ahead. The pine trees lined ever on and the wind blew in icily.

“Hey Chaos!” she yelled in my ear.

I yelled, jumping three feet in the air. “What?” I yelled, turning to see her leaning up between Mark and me.

“I want a body,” she declared. “Get me a body.”

“I’m not getting you a body!” I snapped. “If you’d wanted one, you should have incarnated!”

“Too much paperwork,” she grunted. “Hey, is this guy really attached to himself?” And she poked at the scientist.

“He lives in there so I’d say yeah, pretty attached. And if you try possession, I Will report you!” I was protective of my little mission pals.

“Uhm,” Thor cleared his throat.

“Oh hey, he’s hot,” she said, leering around at him. “Tell him to pull the car over. I can take him over, then we can make out. Neat, right?”

“Shut up!” I squawked.

“What is going on?” asked Thor.

“What’s their name?” asked the scientist, scribbling away at their notepad.

My nerves were beginning to fray. “I want to drive!” she announced, jumping at Thor.

“No!” I yelled, trying to stop her. No luck. If I’d had rolled my dice on it, it would have been a critical 1. A complete failure.

I tackled Mark/Thor, grasping for the immaterial that could not be touched. Thor yelled, shoving me off him. The car skidded, then we must have hit a patch of ice because it really skidded.

“AHH!” I yelled as the ditch came zooming up towards us.

Bwoof!

It was like landing on soft fluffy marshmallows. But at 100 kilometers an hour. So the ‘bwoof’ sent us all flying in all directions. The car keeled over to its side and I was now squished sideways with Thor half on me. There was a scientist’s leg in the air beside my head.

Great, bouncing, burgers.

“AL!” I shrieked, clawing my way up. I scrambled over Thor and pushed his door open. He shoved me and I made it out the door. “I’m going to kill you!” I yelled, stepping out into the crisp air.

A light drifting of snow was fluttering down. There was no noise now. Not a sound. I stood on the side of the car, breath misting before me as I glared out at the pine trees’ depths. Was she hiding in their branches? Or was she right beside me, invisible?

No warning. None at all! Just – CRA-KOOM! Lightning split the sky and struck the road where the car would have been, further down the road. Sparks flew. Smoke spiralled up.

Worse? There was now a dark figure there. The shape of a teen, wearing a long coat that framed their figure. Whisped in dark tendrils of smoke, it began striding forward down the road. Towards us.

“Who is that?” asked Thor, now by my side.

“It’s her,” I grumbled, gritting my teeth, hands balled into fists.

“The demon?” whispered the scientist, climbing up beside Thor.

A cloud drifted away from the moon, allowing light to beam down onto her in a most dramatic of ways.

She was as tall as me, but her hair was cut short around her chin with long bangs that fluttered about her face. Her hair was a deep blue with jet bright streaks in it. Her skin was dark, her face pretty nondescript, especially with those sporty sunglasses she had on. She was wearing a deep purple and pink trenchcoat with orange eagles on it. Oh, and she was had thick black leather boots.

“Hey Chaos,” she said as she stepped to the edge of the road before the car. There was a nasty grin on her face.

“Hey,” I seethed. “Do you have to ruin everything?”

“It’s my duty,” she drawled, running fingers through her hair dramatically.

“Who are you?” asked the scientist, sounding way too impressed for his own good.

She totally let it get to her head. As always. “My name is Al,” she drawled. “And I’m Chaos’ fiancee.”

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Three Part One

Hey everyone! Here’s some more Chaos! I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do! It’s so much fun to write 🙂 Do let me know what you think!

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We have a fifteen minute window. The words kept ringing in my head. I felt like I was on fire. I was ready to blow up and take the world with me. Yeah, let’s do this. Let me show FoxFace what I was made of – Chaos. Chaos here, ready to take everything down. Wasn’t that why I had been offered this mission? Because I rocked, that’s why!

For all the fuss in my head, we just walked out of the lab. Bam. The nerd/scientist slid his key card in the slot by the door, and we walked straight on out. A straight corridor that was dimly lit led us to another door – and that one was to the outside.

It was nighttime. A crisp air, no wait , a freezing air wafted over me. There was an inch of snow over everything. Military cars. Military buildings in low long rectangles everywhere. A few soldiers here and there marching. Above, a full moon.

“Werewolves are out,” I chuckled, pointing to the giant moon. The scientist was not impressed.

“Should we be expecting werewolves?” he asked in that disaffected tone, syringe still at the ready.

I groaned as we walked down the metal ramp and stairs to the ground. “I was joking!” I hissed. “Can’t you tell? Werewolves aren’t on earth yet, you know?”

“Yet?” he asked coolly.

“Well,” I squirmed and grumbled. “Forget it.” I stuffed my hands in the pockets of Thor’s fuzzy checkered jacket.

We crossed the distance between the buildings, snow crunching under our boots. This felt surprisingly boring. Soldiers nodded at the scientist, who nodded back and pushed me along.

“Does no one realize what we’re doing?” I hissed as we entered the second building.

“I told you. We have fifteen minutes. I did away with the guard, and that’s when we’ll be found out. Now hurry.”

Did away with? Well shit, the nerd wasn’t joking around. I scurried after him through a set of doors into this next building.

Here, the faces of the soldiers were dire. They began asking questions, sharp and dry.

“What’s your business here?”

The scientist calmly produced a lengthy paper. “Permission to have this subject meet with the prisoner, to jog their memory,” he said as if he believed it.

With a grunt the paper was handed back. We slipped forward to a series of cells with this soldier in tow. Several other soldiers lined the walls, all grim and scowling at us. We were let into one, and oh hey! There was Thor!

“Hey!” I said so cheerfully. But Thor gave me a death-glare, and another to the scientist.

“What do you want?” he asked the scientist. “And what’s the vampire doing here?” And I was given a nod, but no look.

“Hey, I’m not-” but the scientist spoke over me.

“We have seven minutes to get out of here,” he said sharply. “Get up and come along.” To me, he said “Stand still,” and that syringe jabbed into my shoulder.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, but it was too late. The stuff was in me and the needle drawn out. I rubbed a hand over the site. It was itchy. “What was that?”

“Consider it coffee,” he said dryly as he pulled a pair of safety glasses from his lab jacket’s pocket and put them on. “Now you do your part. Get us out of here. I’ll tell you where to go, but you have to do the people bashing.”

“I can’t kill-”

“Yeah yeah, just knock them out. We can’t just walk out of here with your buddy.”

I blanched, remembering all those beefy soldiers lining the wall. “We have to make it out past them? That we just passed?”

The scientist nodded. “You can do that, right?”

“Is this for real?” asked Thor, getting up off his cot and walking over. “You’re escaping?”

“Yes, if the kid can do it.”

“That’s your plan?” I hissed, angry of a sudden. “Get me to do it all?”

And then – whoosh. It was like hot soap in my veins because it burned. It made my eyes tear up and I knew they were turning red, Holy Immortal kind of red. Not pink-eye. It was maybe also like adrenaline. Soapy adrenaline?

“Oh wow,” I gasped, heart pumping a mile a minute. Even my fingernails felt like they were shaking. My claws were almost coming out of their own. The scientist grinned. “You’ve got this, don’t you?”

I nodded with a gulp. Oh yeah. Bring it on.

The scientist grinned and pulled the door open. “Aprez vous,” he said, guiding me out with a palm.

I didn’t even stop to correct his shitty french pronounciation. I just marched on out like I owned the world, because I did. I was on top of it all. I could feel success in my veins.

“Hey, the prisoner can’t-” Wham! I kicked the first guy in the face. Then, darting forward, I did pretty much the same for the next two. Gut-punched the next one.

Whirr! Whirr! Feathered thingies flew through the air. They missed me by a hair’s breadth, scittering across the floor.

We were half way there when I was surrounded. I didn’t even need to take my pentacle off and let it touch ground, I just made the magic happen. IT glowed across the floor, giant red lines that were pulsing with the magic of hell – and whoosh! I felt another surge of power. Ohhh YEAH! I ran forward, knowing I was invincible for the next few seconds. You could say my inner dice were set to a natural 20. The buddies fell down before me.

Just as I landed the last punch, the pentacle vanished, taking that extra surge of power with it. I paused, taking a breath.

“No! Keep moving!” The scientist hauled me forward by the collar. “Move!”

We busted out the door, out into the cold air. The air burned at my eyeballs, at my lungs. Blood and magic was roaring in my ears. My eyes couldn’t possibly be more open.

We turned and ran to a car. I skidded, then threw myself into the unlocked passenger door. The scientist threw Thor to the driver seat. “Your turn! Drive like a criminal!”

Thor didn’t need telling twice. Pedal to the floor! I fell backwards in the seat, then almost flew forward out the window when we hit a speed bump that certainly didn’t slow us down.

“That way! That way!” the scientist was directing from the back seat, pointing left then right then straight as we zoomed ahead, skidding across the snowy streets. The ‘check out’ loomed ahead. It’s gate was closed.

“Throw this!” the scientist said, drawing a potato launcher style thing out of the back seat and shoving it into my hands. “Just point it and shoot!”

“What?” was all I shrieked. But the gate was coming up! I aimed haphazardly and pulled what I thought was the trigger.

Crack! The recoil slammed me back into the seat. The windshield shattered outwards and the gate exploded just as we drove through it.

It was pretty epic. Fire and flames around us for a minute as we drove off.

Chapter Three!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that chapter three of Adelaide and Shadow’s story is available to be read either below or at the link on the page 🙂 Enjoy and do let me know what you think!

Chapter Three

War had commenced. And, inadvertently, so had the soiling of the pants. For the Denerspellians who had eaten too many treats were now beginning to fall ill to the effects. The army marched off into the hillside, far enough to be away from catapults and arrows, but close enough to shout insults and pull their tongues at the castle. The Denerspellian flag was planted and the land claimed for all Denerspell. Then latrines were built before camp was set, as many a stomach was grumbling and faces were clenching in pain. The prince, munching on what was supposed to be a peach but what actually was a soggy turnip, began wondering what was this mysterious ailment that was striking at his soldiers.

Night settled, and patrols were sent out to fetch food from the peasants. What they found was plenty of peasants willing to exchange food for trinkets from ‘beyond’ – and very grumpy fairies.

“We found a whole lot of them!” the commander bellowed as he burst into the prince’s tent.

The prince sat up from where he had been slumped in his chair. His expression had brightened strangely, but at the sight of was was being tugged in, he returned to being bitter.

“Fairies?” he said bitterly as he crossed his legs. “We already have one. How much more glitter do we need? Do you want us all to sparkle?”

“Let us go!” said the fairy chieftain, outraged at the rope that had clumsily been looped around her waist. “We have come to speak with you!”

“Why does everyone insist on talking so much?” the prince groaned. “I hate talking.”

The commander thought this as a chance to raise himself up in the ranks. “I agree! Slash slash stabbity is much more fun!”

The prince pressed his face into his palm, peering out between his fingers. He was not impressed. In the back of his mind, he made a note to demote the commander a rank or two.

The Fairy marched forward, tossing off the rope magically and kicking aside the commander. “Why did you not invade the castle?”

“That is none of your business,” the prince said coldly. Then, as villains are wont to do, he began explaining himself so that his plans were laid bare. “There was a trap. They opened the doors for us.”

The Fairy chieftain blinked repeatedly. The prince crossed his arms sourly. The commander imitated, thinking that his promotion would be soon.

“But the frogs!” The Fairy wailed.

The prince smirked. “Need help with something?”

The Fairy chieftain’s eyes narrowed. Behind her, the other fairies frowned and shuffled their wings in uneasiness. Was their chief going to make a pact with such a villainous figure? He wore black and red! He had long black hair! He had taken their messenger prisoner! He seemed quite villainous.

“I would speak with you alone,” said the Fairy Chief finally. The prince smirked.

“As you wish,” he said, waving out the commander and the other fairies.

The minute the curtain-like panel to the tent was closed, the fairy laid down the law, so to speak. “Now let me be clear with you, you little sprout,” she said while pointing a delicate finger between the prince’s eyes. “You would not be here without our help! It is thanks to us, and that poor messenger you’ve put in a cage, that you did not become a pile of warts in that blabbering marsh!”

“And I am so grateful,” the prince said without a shred of graciousness. He pushed aside the faries’ tiny hand in his much larger one.

The fairy snatched her hand back and prodded him between the eyes. “You are going to do exactly as I say! Invade that castle! Get! Rid! Of those! Frogs!” And with every of those words she prodded the prince again between the eyes.

The prince scowled and pushed her hand aside once more. “And what if I do not?”

The fairy drew herself up, hovering a little above the ground. She drew upon her majesty and made herself look as imposing as she could. “Then I will call upon the Fire Lady to come and rout you out! And then I will summon the Dark Queen of the Mountain elves – and she will pulverize you!”

The prince winced. “Alright. Fine. Have it your way. How am I supposed to get inside that castle?”

Wings fluttering in disdain, the fairy straightened imperiously. She looked the prince over. True, she reconsidered, now that the foolish prince had not taken the castle by surprise the frogs might be wary and prepared…

“I will show you a secret passage,” she said.

The prince could not help but grin. “A secret passage?” he repeated nastily, leaning forward in greed.

Night fell upon Farfadel, quaint and troublesome. For many of the folks of the land, the buzzers and bumblers and blitzers who magically roamed about on wings of magic, things were now lighted by way of the moon – and by way of the Denerspellian torches. There was quite a lot of these torches set up all around their hasty camp.

“It’s as if they want us to know that they are there,” muttered the seasoned (in books) commander within the Farfadelian castle. He stood upon the ramparts, squinting his eyes at the Denerspellians and chewing upon a straw.

“Sir, you do not need to squint,” said the guard beside him. “They are plainly visible.”

“I will squint all I want to!” snapped the commander before striking a pose that he thought made him look like a mysterious and dangerous soldier. It gave him a strange hunch and made everyone else correct their posture. “Aye,” the commander monologued, impressing himself with his own knowledge “why, they’re up to something.”

The guards knew better than to answer, but many a snarky responses came to their minds and were shared later on in the night. For now, they sucked in their breaths and were forced to listen to the commander’s dramatic hero’s monologue.

“Why, here we are!, they cry out. Come and get us,” he said, leaning dramatically onto the rampart and nodding to himself. “And we shall. We shall.”

There was a healthy moment of pause wherein the commander wondered what his next thoughts were. When they came to him he was once again impressed by his own intelligence and clever tactics. “Tommorrow, at the crack of dawn, we will burn their battering ram before them! It will be a symbolic act of defeat! Yes, yes,” and he nodded to himself. Then he continued his terrible monologuing, waning and waxing on about the perils of siege warfare, and how every soldier had to be stout and – well, stout (the commander did not know all that many words, you see) and how everyone had to have “a stiff lower lip!”.

The soldiers groaned. They rolled their eyes and pretended to keep watch.

It was a terrible thing, really, for if they had actually kept watch instead of merely pretending to, they would have seen something interesting.

What they would have seen was a shrouded series of figures leaving the back of the Denerspellian camp. They were led by a figure holding a bird cage before itself, the bird cage glowing slightly through its hood-like cover. A tiny hand pointed the way through the folds that covered the cage. If one had looked closely, they would have had shivers down their spine at such a nasty and sneaky sight!

But of course, the Farfadelians did not notice, and their commander talked on and on into the night. Amongst the Denerspellians, a similar problem was happening, but in the inverse. It was the soldiers who could not be hushed, or more appropriately their stomachs.

“This is a stealth operation!” hissed the Denerspellian commander, just before his own stomach groaned and his bowels quivered and clenched. He grimaced, one eye growing larger than the other. The revenge of the honeycakes, it was being called.

The beautiful prince, of course, was having no such problem. He snuck on ahead stealthy and agile like a panther while the miserable captive fairy pointed the way. What way were they taking? Why, a mysterious way that led into the castle’s very cellar.

It was a way that led them winding through the valley, and into the Forbidden Mountains. It wound them round and round tree trunks and cairns and through little foot paths – all until they reached the gaping maw of a cave.

There, the hand pointed within. “This will lead you to the royal cellars. Climb the stairs, and seize the castle!”

“I know what to do,” hissed the prince. He glanced quickly over his shoulder to be sure his soldiers still were there. They were, and miserably so. They were grimacing, holding their tummies, and doing their best to put a chipper expression on a very miserable situation for all of them. The prince, thinking they were all just a lazy bunch of bums, set the bird cage down. As he did, the fairy jumped for joy.

“Freedom!” she squealed, shaking her tiny fists into the air. Silently, she also cried out “No more turnips!” for that was all that was being fed to her. That and barley meal. But the turnips were far worse than the barley meal was.

But the prince cruelly laughed. “No freedom for you!” he said spitefully. Then, stooping before the cage, he added. “You’re too useful!” Then, straightening, he called out to his men. “Someone stand watch over the fairy! The rest of you- with me!”

And he, rather bravely, led the way straight into the mouth of the cave. I say bravely, dear reader, for who knows what could have been in that cave? It could have housed a dragon! It could have housed golems and ghouls and given everyone the gout! It could have been the secret lair of a witch!

But alas, the fairy had led them true, as fairies were wont to do (unless, of course, you frustrate them, in which case they will play tricks upon you).

And so it was that the prince led the way into a perfectly empty cave. There was a handful of rats, a bit of bats, and even a cornucopia of cockroaches. But there was nothing really worth slaying and retelling. Instead, the prince lit a torch that illuminated his face in ghastly shapes. It made his soldiers recoil at the sight of him.

“This way,” he said eagerly, and he led on.

The soldiers, faint of heart and lacking in bravery, took a moment to reconsider. Did they really want to do this? But then they thought about how far he had led them- and they decided to follow him some more. After all, they muttered to each other, he was the first prince to lead the Denerspellians true through the marsh! He must be a true hero!

“If we go along, we will be heroes too,” they thought, hoping to leech some of his glory and power for themselves.

Oh, how wrong they were. The prince never shared anything.

But enough blabbering (I am not a marsh). Onwards, dear reader, let us follow them!

The cave was dark. The cave was dank. The cave, dear reader, was full of humongous spiders and bats! It twisted and turned, it writhed and grovelled through the bowels of the earth, and at some point it became a flight of stairs slipping and tripping everyone straight down. There was moss and lichens along the stair that cackled and hissed bad wishes at them as they made their way down. The moss, why, it even tried to blow out their torches!

It was a most terrifying descent for many a soldier- but not for the prince. He, as villains were prone to do, ushered his second in command to his side with a curling of the finger.

“This moss,” he said as the commander tripped to the prince’s side (for the prince was walking fast down these treacherous stairs!) “it is very much like the marsh we crossed. In that it talks.”

“Well yes, your highness! How observative of you!” praised the commander, still hoping for a promotion. The prince gave him the stink eye, not caring for hollow praise today.

“When I am King of all the lands, remind me to delegate permits for talking if one is not a human. That way all these marshes will have to say proper things, or they will not be allowed to speak!” Those last words he said to the moss most crossly, causing the marsh to shrivel and shrink from his presence.

But as soon as the prince had gone a few more steps the moss pulled its tongue at his back.

“Sire, your highness and majestic majesty,” the commander prattled, banging and clattering after him, “how will these marshes be given permits? And what ought they to say?”

“Encouraging things,” muttered the prince under his breath “that, and the time of day. Think of it. Wouldn’t it be useful? That way whenever you are traveling you will know the time of day and when supper is.”

The commander nodded, thinking indeed that it was always good to know when supper was.

“That, and they should tell you where you are if you ask-”

“You’re in a tunnel!” shrieked the moss.

“Only if asked!” snapped the prince most bad-temperedly, arguing with the wall. “And they should use proper titles and honorifics!”

“Your blathering high’n’up!” wailed the moss. “Your bamboozling bluffityness! Your turnip-eating snarfittysnarf!”

“Argl!” the prince snarled, shoving his torch at the stone wall. With a yelp that most pesky cluster of moss jumped up and crawled away to the ceiling. There it pulled its tongue at the prince and made ‘bla bla bla’ sounds.

With a huff the prince continued his walk, descending down down down, and arriving at a little gateway. It was not much, just a tightening in the tunnel where a curtain of roots and lichens hung like a curtain.

“Are you going to talk back to me too?” the prince asked the lichens and roots most snippily.

“No,” said the roots, shaking themselves to the side and out of his way.

“Good,” the prince muttered before passing through.

What the prince entered was a tiny room, round and earthen, with a sign on the wall that said ‘forest that way’. Before the sign was a flight of crooked and cranky wooden stairs leading up.

A most terrible feeling settled in the prince. No, it was not the revenge of the honeycakes. It was the revenge of the stairs. For now he was realizing that all those stairs that they had walked down – would have to be walked up now to get into the castle. And then presumable down and up again on their way out.

“Oh bugger it all,” he muttered as he stomped forward and up onto the stairs. “Come along, you louts!”

“Huzzah!” cheered the soldiers, for ‘louts’ was a rather encouraging insult in Denerspellian talk. It was a kind insult, and they, unlike the prince, were not exactly realizing that stairs meant more walking. They just thought they were finally within the castle.

Mercifully, the prince was stout, the prince was strong, and he was fuelled by something far stronger than his soldiers were, apparently (turnips and barley is rather good for the constitution).

For he alone made it to the top of his stairs. He alone, bad tempered and sore, reached a small door atop these cranky and crooked stairs. He alone stood there, looking back on the flight after flight that descended down, filled with aching and sore soldiers who were suffering attacks of the honeycakes.

“Why do I even have soldiers?” grumbled the prince.

“Bla bla bla!” shouted the moss from down under.

“Bugger it all,” muttered the prince as he turned and stomped through the door.

Now, fate being fateful and all that good stuff, the prince was rather lucky to not have had his army with him just then. For when he stepped through that door he was instantly in a rather large wine cellar.

Well, that in itself wasn’t particularly lucky. What was lucky was that after he left the wine cellar, climbing still more stairs (“fudging stairs” he muttered angrily under his breath) he met very few Farfadelian guards.

For, gentle reader, a great deal of the guards had been posted out of doors and upon the walls. For “This is war!” the commander proclaimed, and thereby he insisted that every able-bodied soldier be up and about and doing soldier-y stuff. Like keeping watch.

Those who were lucky enough to be indoors were busy making fun of the commander, and being pleasantly warm on this chilly night. They did not particularly pay attention to what they thought was another unfortunate being sent out of doors.

But, alas, the prince was a prince. His armor was black and dastardly as his soul, and his hair was long and flowing and spreading the scent of his shampoo all around himself.

“Stop right there!” shouted the first set of guards that the prince reached in the corridor that the cellar let out onto.

“Bugger off!” said the prince, in a terrible mood now on account of the mosses and stairs. And with his good hand, he clouted them both about the head and knocked them unconscious.

Then on marched the prince.

Up and up he marched, up and up more stairs, then up and up until he could smell the stench of frogs.

“Ah ha!” he said to himself, poking his head out of a door.

“Ah?” said the series of Farfadelian guards that were guarding the rooms of the princesses.

“Ah?” echoed the rows of tiny frogs that were guarding the room of their King’s bride-to-be.

“Hah!” said the prince, throwing his torch forward first. It exploded across the floor, giving him the element of surprise.

“Oh goodness!” said the guards as all their fancy trappings and fringes threatened to catch fire. They jumped and jostled, banging around and creating quite the havoc as they tried to put out this fire.

“Rubbit rubbit!” squealed the frogs, hopping this way and that away from the sparks.

Without uttering an evil catch phrase or even an evil laugh, the prince lurched forward into action. Whump! Whack! Whop! He knocked the guards unconscious. Then punt! Punt! Punt! He kicked the little but extremely annoying frogs out of the way.

Let it be noted, dear reader, that the torch did not catch fire to the floor. It had been magically treated so as to not catch fire, on account of a bad-tempered visit from the Fire Lady one yonder day. Due to this, the torch and sparks merely smoldered and stewed on the floor before dousing themselves off to sleep.

But in the moment, the prince did not care about that. He wouldn’t have cared if the whole castle had burnt down! “Hah!” the prince said, taking a moment to look over his disaster with a gleeful glimmer to his eye. But then there was a creak.

“Whatever is the – oh!” said the youngest and fairest princess as she opened the door to her bedchamber.

The prince drew his sword and poked the pointy end towards her. “You are coming with me!” he ordered.

The fair princess was so mortified she might as well have fainted. The prince seized her by the wrist and dragged her out. Then, holding her and still pointing his sword at her, he knocked on the other door (there was three in total, dear reader). “Out you come!” he barked. “Or I will slay your sister!”

And out came one princess, the eldest. “Oh my!” she shrieked. “Guards!” And then she looked down at the unconscious guards on the floor. “Guards?” she moaned.

Then the evil prince kicked on the last door. “Out with you too!” he barked.

The third door opened. The middle princess presented herself. She, too, was in her nightgown, but now she was drawing a traveling cape over her shoulders. “Goodness,” she muttered dryly under her breath as she glared down the prince. But then her eyes alighted on the unconscious frogs, and she sneered.

The prince then jostled and pushed the princesses before him, waving his very pointy and sharp sword at them. And so in this way he forced them down stairs upon stairs upon stairs and all the way down into the cellar. There he forced them through the door and down more stairs where his soldiers were now recuperating and groaning from their honeycake attacks.

Meanwhile, alarm horns were beginning to be blown. Unconscious guards had been found! The princesses were missing!

“This! Is! WAR!” a certain commander was heard bellowing.

“Oh goodness!” squealed the oldest princess. The youngest one, completely overcome by everything, fainted against the wall.

“Oh bugger it all!” said the prince. And so he brushed his long locks of hair out of his (very handsome) face, and he scooped up the middle princess in his arms. “Carry them!” he ordered to his soldiers before darting down the stairs.

And so, in a mad dash, he rushed headlong down down down the stairs. Then up up up the stairs with the moss wailing at him that he would never make it.

“You’re too slow!”

“Walking funny, eh?”

“My uncle walks faster!”

And all sorts of nasty things, that moss said.

The princess, for her part, said not a word. She clung to the dastardly prince’s neck and was silent the entire rush with the army through the tunnels.

Finally, the prince burst up out of the tunnels, well ahead of the rest of his army (they were all rather slovenly even in their fright).

“Oh no!” squealed the fairy at the sight of the kidnapped princesses. “But you were supposed to defeat the Frog King!”

“Bah!” said the prince. “Point the way back home!”

“But but,” and the poor fairy began having a fit as she saw the rest of the army returning with even more kidnapped princesses. “What have you done?”

“What did you think I was going to do?” snapped the prince. And he drew his sword and pointed it at the cage. “Point the way to the camp!”

Shaking with fright, the poor fairy did as she was told.

mushroom adelaide

Farfadel

Farfa-What? Farfadel, ladies and gentlemen. It is a land of wondrous beauty, a land of happiness and joy. It is a place that, in the depths of my own despair, I concocted up.

Yep, a few years ago I was in the worst stretch of my mental health. Determined to keep writing, I concocted Farfadel. A happy, fearless, and harmless world where nothing bad happens and shenanigans abound. It was meant to be readable for all, a gentle balm for those suffering from anxiety and depression, for I was at the point that I couldn’t read anymore because the anxiety was so bad.

So what about it? Well, like so many good creative things, it has become an addiction of sorts. One novel spawned another, and another, and another. Two are finished, and many, many, more unfinished. I love writing Farfadel, I love the harmlessness of it, the joy and freedom for silliness.

But what does this have to do with you? Well, dear readers, I need your input. You see, I lose motivation swiftly. I feel like none of this matters to anyone but myself. So I would love if you would read some of my stories and share your thoughts with me. I will share as much as I can for FREEEEE (I love free stuff), and will sell others. For the moment though, I would really just love input and feedback. What do you like? What made you laugh? Did I misspell something? Share with me!

For now, the novel will be published on this website, under the heading ‘Of Adelaide and Shadow (A Tentative Title)’, or you can follow this link HERE to find it.