Does No One Care?!

Alright, so I woke up today thinking it was going to be a restful day. And behold, here I am, sitting in the coldest room of my apartment (which is pretty cold) and angrily bashing away at my keyboard instead of luxuriating in a restful day.

Maybe my early morning anxiety attack was a preview of something all my fellow trans were waking up to.

Today was supposed to be such a restful day. Instead now I want to cry, and cry, and cry.

Not just because TRUMP IS MAYBE GOING TO STRIP AWAY TRANSGENDER RIGHTS but because …. no one is talking about it.

My social media feeds are silent. Filled with happy Samhain preparation stuff and witchy doo-dads.Where is the outrage? Where is the care?

No one seems to care. Sure, maybe we’ll get a funny quip on Stephen Colbert’s show. But will there be protests? Will there be any general motion to support us? Will we just be another drop in the metaphorical shit-bucket and NO ONE CARES?!

I keep repeating it, because yeah, I’m lucky. I’m a Canadian. I live in frenchified Quebec, land where things change slower than cold molasses in mid winter. But on a federal level? What if the sheer stupidity of the Trump motion wears off into Canada, and we have another dumb-fucked Trump as our next Prime Minister? I’m fucked. Yeah, fucked, in danger, and NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

Like, seriously, people? Do we just not matter enough to you? Are we just ‘too small’ and ‘noisy’ a minority? So it’s fun and all to watch RuPaul and watch drag queens and kings, but to support trans people is too much?

Where are the people knitting hats? Why no transgender hats? Why not call the bureaus now and give gory details about your periods to get them to stay away from our rights? No? Not for us? Fucking thank you.

And yeah, it’s pretty close to me because I can’t just be ‘it’s those other people out there’. It’s people I know that are supporting Trump. Close relatives who hoot and cheer his every action. So go fuck you all. You either help us fight this or you are not an ally. That’s it.

And maybe the history books won’t take notice and you’ll think it’s all blown over when it’s said and done, but we’ll remember. We’ll remember that when they came for us,you DID NOTHING.

Want to make me less pissed off? Talk about it. Write to your politicians and get other people to do it. Cause a fuckin’ stink. We’re humans too, you know! We deserve our rights! We get murdered enough now, don’t you think? Imagine what it’ll be like without any laws defending us!

Oh, and P.S.? All you ‘wiccan’ and ‘pagan’ and ‘love and lighters’ just go fuck straight off if you’re going to tell me to calm down. You worship peace and harmony and won’t help the people who, in many cultures, are symbols of divine power and channels? Just fuck off. Especially if you borrow from Native cultures, where the berdache were sometimes revered. Don’t worship us if you’re going to abandon us. Because what else is the balance between god and goddess in Wicca but transgender? And now you abandon us? Thanks.

Bitchin’ Witchin’

I had the silly idea of starting up a pagan group (sarcasm – it’s a great idea). At first, the idea was simple and a little pure, just to help create a community. It would be a sort of group that did events, had little structure, and basically got together to exchange on a variety of topics as well as to help each other out in manifest, physical ways.

A variety of adventures happened, including curses being laid and disruptive actions -> all caused by a cis white male who thought he was ‘the most uber spiritual gurbl gurbl out there’ basically.

Well, I banished him in no uncertain terms from the group and found myself having to rebuild my group from the ground up. And then – lo! Behold! I fell across inspiration! A pagan abbey! Oh, isn’t that a lovely idea?

After slavering at the idea, I decided to give it a shot. I tried to get into contact with Trey from the Silver Song Collective.

She, of all the elders I contacted, actually answered me (holy shit!). With the guidance of someone who’s done it before, I decided to create the Starlight Pagan Family, a hopefully soon to be legally recognized not-for-profit.

Now where, you ask, is the drama? Wait. I am starting to get to it. So you see, I began organizing pagan gatherings. Being a kind person, I invited everyone I knew – including the witches who, about a year ago, had been doing some pagan gatherings but then stopped as they weren’t working well.

Remember, a sentence ago, I said ‘they weren’t working well’ in combination with the words ‘stopped’? Well, bloody fucking Christian hell.

All of a sudden (Magically, one could say!) they re-began hosting their get-togethers, within days of mine!

Oh. Okay. I contacted them and they insisted that this was pure coincidence. They offered to share my event. Well, I thanked them and invited them to my get together again.

Now they never did come to my organized meeting where I announced the formation of the Starlight Pagan Family. If they had, they would have known that the new core purpose of my group was to offer events to unite the community, as well as fundamental services such as weddings, rituals, mental health and spiritual counseling hotlines, accompaniment to doctor visits, etc.

Well, when I saw that they had made yet another ‘witchy’ gathering (so soon? They used to host these twice a year before I came along…) my group of admins told me that it was pure coincidence and not to think about it. Everyone told me I was overreacting.

So, one day, after a full week of planning, I giddily made the Facebook event for our first activity -> Candles & Drums. I snapped a closeup picture of my drum, its beater, a pentacle, and a tealight candle.

Well. Within fucking hours these bitchy witches had released their own event. With a very same picture, a closeup of several random things and a tealight.

I flipped my shit in no uncertain terms. I almost cried. It was a virtual stab in the back, as I had literally invited them to join my group, invited them on Facebook within my closed group for the family, and was hoping to approach them about being active members of my group.

Well. All this drama brings me to a point. It’s not just drama for the sake of drama (I promise, though I do relish in gossiping viciously).

Why the fuck do all the pagans just try and make money off of each other? Huh? I know of at least 8 witches in my tiny local community that sell stuff and throw all their efforts into making money off the pagan community. Yeah, I’m no better. I tried to sell my embroidery online -> but I did my all best to make it the cheapest as possible. I hardly paid myself for my efforts. These witches? Please! 35$ for an event per head is not what I call cheap when it comes to making one bloody fucking ‘magical’ sachet. Not when the room rent (I know because I checked to rent that very same space) is 10$ a head. Materials for one tiny-ass sachet CANNOT be 25 $. There better be a fucking gold nugget in there if so.

And you know what else? Why the fuck do no pagans offer actual services to each other? Like why is it that I seem to be the first pagan organization to come up with hotlines, and accompanying members to hospitals? Why is it so easy to walk into a coffee shop and find a pagan advertising their soaps/tarot readings/handmade cards/whatthefuckever … but no such thing as a pagan charity event? WHY?

Even a larger community that I admired, which is supposedly organized and run by a good priestess, does not do charity drives. They do not help in holiday food drives. They do not run around cleaning up rivers and doing actual, physical, good change in the world.

What instead do they do? Offer ‘classes’ on witchcraft and paganism. Sell teas. Sell, sell, sell.

Well, fucking pardon me. But if we want to actually build something, we might as well get off our asses and start trying to be serious adults and try and stop looking at our wallets. You know what? Why don’t we offer classes to which some poor students can fundraise their way into? Why don’t we host raffles from which the majority of the money goes to funding our members to attend an actually academically recognized university? Maybe I’m dreaming in pagan Technicolor, but I dream of building something useful.

Maybe it’s because I was raised by relatives that indulged themselves in Christian churches. And in those churches, I saw members that were willing to fundraise for my family to have clothes. Who were willing to actually take care of their sick and their poor and not just send ‘thoughts and prayers’.

If we’re an actual religion, let’s start acting like one. Because you want to know my final point? When I was sick, horribly lost in my mental illness, I missed a community. I needed people to comfort me and listen to me and drive me to the hospitals and support me and just be there for me. I needed people to show up and do my dishes for me and drive me to do groceries. I needed the support of a community.

And there was none. Because we’re pagans and apparently we do nothing to help each other.

Well if I can change one fucking thing about paganism with my lifetime-> it’s going to be that. I’m going to make a movement unlike any other. I want to inject a shot of adrenaline into my local community and Make. It. Roll. Because dammit, people need us. We need us.