On Being Trans and Pagan

First of all, what with recent events being what they are, I encourage you all to go and support those protesting in the states. Give to help bail out those who have been arrested, and please get into letter-writing mode if you can’t protest.

That being said, I wanted to talk about something that struck me while working on a children’s drawing. This one in particular.

Now, for those of you who are visually impaired or who haven’t been following me for a while, this is an image of my very trans birdie beating a drum and singing while wearing a cloak and antlers. He is surrounded by a salt circle within which are placed a goblet, tiny cauldron with smoke coming out of it, a crystal, and a candle. Essentially, the little trans birdie is doing a ritual with the four elements and singing while incarnating the Horned God or some other horned deity.

Now, while drawing this out, it struck me that it could be seen as ‘hard’ to have the trans birdie invoking a masculine deity, as in it would be hard for a trans man to incarnate such an epidemy of masculinity. But then I thought that isn’t it overly hard for anyone to do?

Here’s my first point: the epidemy of masculinity, the Horned God, is equally far from everyone, trans or not, because they’re a deity and we’re mere mortals. No matter your view on deity, they’re that, impossibly far away, and we’re us. So, trans or not, we’re all impossibly far from this ideal personified, just as we are all embodiments of it. It’s a paradox, if you will, one that is solved only when a devotee offers up their body for possession during an invocation. Then, only then, does one truly reach peak ‘masculinity’.

But can only a cis man do the invocation properly? I don’t think so. I really think that, cis or trans or enby, or probably even a woman, one can invoke the Horned one (or any other male deity) in order to experience what it feels like to possess that energy, because, in the grand scheme of things, it is still a deity descending into a mortal body. To argue that it must be only ‘this type’ or ‘that type’ of body, in my opinion, is to argue over a millimeters’ difference when the deity has to cross aeons to reach us. The deity is already transcending so much in order to get into the body, is it really a big deal whether it’s male or female, so long as its receptive? I don’t think so. So long story short, my trans birdie (and all other trans men and enbies or even women) can do the ‘male’ invocations.

Second, while thinking on this, a thought came to me on the validity of trans masculinity. It came to me that, in paganism, one can be a mortal person and suddenly invoke a god, and be recognized as this god. During this invocation, the deity is recognized as such and treated with reverence required. So why don’t we apply this to transgender identities? This notion of being a female body hosting male energy that was invoked into it by birth is absolutely not so different from our deity invocations. Yet it brings to mind my interactions with pagans who kept saying to me that I was ‘so feminine’ and that I had ‘female’ energy (which was very upsetting for me). Why is it that, for deities, we can see the spirit but not for trans people?

I think that, as pagans, we tend to view the energy as being created by the body, rather than being summoned into it. We view them as interdependent and co-creating. But if we begin viewing the spirit as not entirely dependent on the body (at least in a gendered way), but rather as hosted by it, then we can see the difference.

Furthermore, for trans and/or enby people, I want to suggest invocations as a way to test out your gender. Are you considering becoming a man? Invoke the Horned God, or any other male deity you are comfortable with, and see how the ‘energy’ feels to you.

Why? Not only will it give you a ‘feel’ of masculinity, but often with invocations, the human/invoker will feel as if they have the deities’ body and accoutrements. In the case of the Horned God, one might feel as if they are bearing horns and a large phallus.

So try it out, and see if you like those feelings. You could even consider summoning the opposite and comparing and contrasting your emotions and sensations.

If this generates interest (or even if it doesn’t), I will make a full post about how to do a private ritual summoning deities for gender consideration. Hey, maybe even a ritual divination on discerning your gender/insight into your gender could be fun too.

So anyways, I want to wish you all a safe and happy day. Take care y’all ❤

Does No One Care?!

Alright, so I woke up today thinking it was going to be a restful day. And behold, here I am, sitting in the coldest room of my apartment (which is pretty cold) and angrily bashing away at my keyboard instead of luxuriating in a restful day.

Maybe my early morning anxiety attack was a preview of something all my fellow trans were waking up to.

Today was supposed to be such a restful day. Instead now I want to cry, and cry, and cry.

Not just because TRUMP IS MAYBE GOING TO STRIP AWAY TRANSGENDER RIGHTS but because …. no one is talking about it.

My social media feeds are silent. Filled with happy Samhain preparation stuff and witchy doo-dads.Where is the outrage? Where is the care?

No one seems to care. Sure, maybe we’ll get a funny quip on Stephen Colbert’s show. But will there be protests? Will there be any general motion to support us? Will we just be another drop in the metaphorical shit-bucket and NO ONE CARES?!

I keep repeating it, because yeah, I’m lucky. I’m a Canadian. I live in frenchified Quebec, land where things change slower than cold molasses in mid winter. But on a federal level? What if the sheer stupidity of the Trump motion wears off into Canada, and we have another dumb-fucked Trump as our next Prime Minister? I’m fucked. Yeah, fucked, in danger, and NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

Like, seriously, people? Do we just not matter enough to you? Are we just ‘too small’ and ‘noisy’ a minority? So it’s fun and all to watch RuPaul and watch drag queens and kings, but to support trans people is too much?

Where are the people knitting hats? Why no transgender hats? Why not call the bureaus now and give gory details about your periods to get them to stay away from our rights? No? Not for us? Fucking thank you.

And yeah, it’s pretty close to me because I can’t just be ‘it’s those other people out there’. It’s people I know that are supporting Trump. Close relatives who hoot and cheer his every action. So go fuck you all. You either help us fight this or you are not an ally. That’s it.

And maybe the history books won’t take notice and you’ll think it’s all blown over when it’s said and done, but we’ll remember. We’ll remember that when they came for us,you DID NOTHING.

Want to make me less pissed off? Talk about it. Write to your politicians and get other people to do it. Cause a fuckin’ stink. We’re humans too, you know! We deserve our rights! We get murdered enough now, don’t you think? Imagine what it’ll be like without any laws defending us!

Oh, and P.S.? All you ‘wiccan’ and ‘pagan’ and ‘love and lighters’ just go fuck straight off if you’re going to tell me to calm down. You worship peace and harmony and won’t help the people who, in many cultures, are symbols of divine power and channels? Just fuck off. Especially if you borrow from Native cultures, where the berdache were sometimes revered. Don’t worship us if you’re going to abandon us. Because what else is the balance between god and goddess in Wicca but transgender? And now you abandon us? Thanks.