Cover and Title Reveal!

I am so happy to announce that my latest Faradelian novel is now live! It has been for a few days, but I am ready to announce it now. 🙂

And so! What is the title for this fabulous book?

*drumroll*

The Tale of the Poison Heart!

Yes, beloveds! For particular reasons that will only make sense once you read the book completely, ‘The Tale of the Poison Heart’ is how ‘the dinosaur book’ has been named!

Because, lo, there is much more than dinosaurs that happen in that book. There is sweet romance, a mystery most mysterious, and there is even suspense! *gasp!*

If I was to give a summary of the book, say it was to have a pamphlet, it would go like ‘When a young mage accidentally summons a dinosaur during their magical exam, chaos is unleashed upon Farfadel. Romance is set a-flutter as a beautiful mage named Ka’an enters the scene. Drama is uncovered as the true culprit behind the dinosaur insurrection is hunted for. Oh! Will Taayet and Ka’an be able to discover who is the one with the poison heart before it’s too late?’

I’m so so excited to be sharing this book with you all, but I must warn you first of something… dire? This book is very different from the other Farfadel books in that it has… a sort of ending? Something particular to its ending? I don’t want to spoil anything, but I want to warn my readers that, indeed, this Farfadelian book is not like the others.

This book, in fact, leads into the trilogy that I’m finishing! It is a sort of prequel, I suppose? It sets the scene for what is to come, and does so very dramatically!

But enough bla bla! What does this book look like, and where can you buy it?

As usual, my books are available in soft cover on Amazon HERE, as well as in kindle. If you don’t have a kindle, or are against Amazon, you can also get my books on Smashwords HERE.

And this, lovely people, is the cover!

Image description [two people rest their foreheads together, smiling and holding onto each other. The background is light blue and there are sparkles all around them.]

I really do hope that you all like this book. Do let me know if you want a copy and can’t afford it. If you do buy yourself a copy, first of all Thank you! Second, let me know what you think! Leave a review and send me your thoughts!

Wishing you all the best ❤

Another Farfadel Novel!

Wow! I got into a writing groove today and FINISHED the Farfadel novel I was working on! As in, I finished the rough draft. Roughly. In the draft form, 😄.

What is this novel about? Well its hugely LGBT+, and a romance, and a happy silly novel. Also it has dinosaurs 🦕 🦖, so you know you need to read it!

But on a more serious note, im finding myself wondering how im going to go about getting the news of my novel out there. Im so bad at networking. Whenever someone does end up reading my novels, especially the Farfadel ones, I get rave reviews. But I just have to get them out there. And I dont want to do traditional publishing (you need the same amount of so ial networking anyways). I think it would be really hard to traditionally sell an lgbt+ childrens book, to be honest.

So, I’m thinking of doing a book tour, on the blogosphere and other places on the web. Do you want to help out? I can give out goodies like pdfs of my book, mail you bookmarks and pictures and stuff like that in exchange for a certain amount of help!

Anyways, please comment on this blog if you’re interested, have ideas for me, or just want to chat, or message me at mdaoust245@gmail.com! I’d really love to get some help and I’m sure you can’t wait to read more about Farfadel so… win win? Hahaha, I wish you all the best! Have a lovely day ❤

The future book cover, maybe!

Escape! ~ Lage’s Game: Chapter Nine, Part Two

I stared at the nearly invisible creature. Of course I wanted to get out. This was a trap question. Of course I wanted out – but what would it cost me? I peered so hard at the creature, trying to think and guess at what it wanted – and then it laughed.

It was a clear, high laugh. Menacing? Cold? It sent chills down my spine.

“I said! Enough!” the guard marched over, banging a thick sword against the bars. “You there!” and he rounded on the last cell, the one with the monster in it.

“Are you talking to me?” the hoarse voice asked. The shape twisted upwards, stretching up, up, up until it was like a tall human, facing the guard. “Do you want to fight?” It was curious, questioning like a child. The hands wrapped around the bars before the guard. But the guard had brought a lamp with him, and I finally saw the creature as he held it aloft.

It was a humanoid shape, wreathed in a large purple cloak with silver-white embellishments shrouding the eyes in a fringe that hung down to the cheekbones. The skin was black like the darkest hue of nighttime, the lips were thin, the nose hooked, and there was a grace to its smile.

“Stand back!” barked the guard, banging at the bars where the creature’s hands had been.

“Oooh,” murmured the creature. “Frightening.”

The guard paled. “Enough!” But he had already lost this battle.

“Shut up,” hissed the creature, turning away from the guard to face me. Beneath the cloak I saw a fluttering of a grey robe, a sash from which hung dozens of braids, and boots. But then the cloak was drawn fast around the creature once more.

It is probably a human, I thought to myself, but I wasn’t sure. Was it?

It crouched again before the bars separating us, its dark hands coiling around the bars. “Who brought you in here, child? Far from your world, aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer, huddling on myself. The guard bellowed again. “Quiet!”

The creature turned to him, then back to me. It was a strangely silent movement. Their fabrics barely rustled. They sat down and crossed their legs before themselves. They must be human.

Breathing a sigh, the guard turned and walked away. With him went the light, and some semblance of safety.

Once the guard was back at the other end, the creature whispered. “I was brought in for murder. But you can trust me. I’m an assassin.”

I wanted to clap my hands over my ears and curl up into myself. I wanted to block out this entire strange world.

“I kill in cold blood. I don’t make them suffer. I’m not like them,” he whispered.

My senses prickled. Them? Did he know- he couldn’t, could he?

I found myself turning to look at the creature. His tilted eyes were glowing faintly, just enough to be discernible. He had a hand reached out for me, palm up.

“Come with me,” he whispered. “I can see who you are. I can tell-” and his voice dropped to barely a whisper. “What you’ve eaten.”

My breath caught. The creature chuckled. “Yes,” he murmured, coaxing me on. “Come with me, child. You won’t be safe here once they bring you to the priestesses. What they will do to you – even I wouldn’t.”

I shuddered. Now that I was looking, I couldn’t take my eyes away from theirs.

The hand drew back, and I felt that they were satisfied. “Tomorrow, no- tonight. Soon. Brace yourself, child. Rest. We will be free soon.”

I looked away then, feeling caught and guilty. Would I run with them? Was this some trap? It couldn’t be – I hadn’t given them anything! And I could still change my mind, couldn’t? Besides, how could they get me out of here?

I found myself curling up on myself, my head between my knees. As if following orders, I fell asleep fitfully.

I dreamed of Lage. I dreamed of Mother, of Father, of Kayla and her final bottle smash. It was terrible.

I woke screaming, to find the air silent and cold. There was a crispness to the air that smelt of the outside.

I looked around, wondering where I was. For a moment I was completely lost, baffled, and it wasn’t helped by what I saw.

To my right, where the creature’s cell was, a silver light was glowing. It expanded, radiating out with a breath of coolness and frost out into the cells. Then it swept back in, shrinking somewhat. It was someone’s breath, I realized. The creature’s breath, their form hidden as a shadow behind this glowing frost.

I slunk backwards, looking around for some sense of normalcy. No one was coming. No one seemed to even notice that something strange was happening.

For what felt like an eternity, I sat there with my arms around my knees. I reached out within myself, pleading with the world for help, for something.

With my head burrowed between my knees, I was jolted from my thoughts by the creature shouting. “Guard! Guard! Come quick! The girl is dead!”

I jolted up, lifting my head and looking around. The creature was standing by the bars, their glowing breath now gone. There was the sound of cursing and feet running. The guard rushed into view, lamp in hand and keys in the other.

I just sat there, frozen. Wondering what was happening, even as it unfolded before me.

It was a trap. The guard rushed up against the bars of my cell, and the creature reached out through his and yanked the guard close. In one yelp and a snap, the guard was over. The keys were now jangling in dark hands, the lamp smashing to the floor.

The silence that followed was punctuated only by the hammering of my heart in my ears. Then, the door grating open. The flames licked at the oil on the floor, lighting up the creature as he stepped out. He was a ghastly shape, tall and strange as he stepped over the fire to unlock my door.

“Come,” he said sweetly. Then he turned and walked away.

I had a choice. I could sit in this cell, or move. I moved. I didn’t know what the princesses had in store for me, but neither did I know what this creature wanted. At least with the creature, I could hopefully still run away. Find my way back to Lage, then go home. But what home was there to go back to?

I shoved that question aside as I stepped over the smoldering flames and beside the dead guard. I was going home. That was that.

As I made my way down the corridor, the creature was unlocking some doors, ignoring others. Then, as if to spite everyone, he tossed the keys into the far corner of an already locked cell that held only a skeleton.

Prisoners were rushing out, pouring and stumbling towards the stairs that led away and up. The creature turned to me. He flashed a smile of immaculate white teeth.

“Here,” he drew a cloak from the guards’ chair. “Put this on.”

Remembering the biting cold of outdoors, I did, wrapping it clumsily around my shoulders. He nodded, and we turned and ran after the vanishing prisoners.

“Help! Opened a portal…” Part 2

I sat in the office chair, my hands clasped around a cooling cup of ‘relaxing’ tea. I would smash it against the wall if I could. But I had to look ‘presentable’ and ‘calm’ and ‘put together’. Which meant I had to look anything but like the hysterical mess I was.

After seeing my own husband possessed by a demon, I’d then seen him vanish before my very eyes. I was left screaming in the carnage. The other guards had dragged me out and gotten some fresh air into me, thankfully. Now, after a quick check-up with the healers, I was waiting on the verdict, the plan of action, from my boss.

Now, my boss being my dad (being guards ran in the family), things were conflicting. But rest assured, he had brought in his own boss on this case so everyone was thinking as straight-headed as could be. And by the time it was taking them in that office, they were brewing a proper war plan. It made me almost smile. We would rain damnation down upon those demons! How dared they, sneak in and kidnap not one, but three, of our own? Ones so peaceful and helpless too? They had certainly sealed their fate. This was war.

“Hey,” Alza drew to a stop beside me, mug in hand. She had one arm crossed across her chest, making her entire stance awkward. She didn’t want to be here, but she’d probably been told to ‘cheer me up’ or keep an eye on me or something.

“Hey,” I held up my cup in explanation. “I’m fine,” I fibbed. But what else was there to say? That I just wanted to scream at our king and Queen to send out the armies already? My children were suffering! My husband was possessed – one of the worst fates possible for an elf!

Alza nodded, but just stood there. I stared down at her feet. “Well,” she said awkwardly.

“I’ll be fine,” I repeated. It was going to be fine. I wouldn’t be allowed to join the rescue mission, but that was okay. I was too close to the situation to be cool-headed and critical. I would just stay home, find us a new home- I cricked my neck and smiled up at Alza. “I’m fine.”

She had the expression of one who was staring pestilence in the face. “Y-yeah,” she said cautiously. “Drink that tea.”

“Chipper,” I muttered half heartedly. “Just what I need.” But my hands were shaking and I fibbed the sip. My throat was dry and water would choke me.

Alza nodded some more and stared down at my boots. They were charred and burnt from my scrambling through the ash. My children were fine. They must be. The demons must have been needing them for something – they’d keep them alive for a small amount of time – we would have time to rescue them.

And if they were harmed, it would be all out war. War as we’ve never before seen…

The door to my father’s office creaked open. I jumped up, and Alza startled at my sudden movement. She was saying something placating, but behind her Father was steppign out of his office with the commissioner. I resisted trampling around Alza, instead trying to be composed. Everythign would be alright.

But Father looked dejected. The commissioner was marching away at all speeds, the edges of his robe fluttering through the corridor. Father slowly made his way over, then seemed to rethink things. He nodded at me to follow him, and he turned and stalked back into his office.

Father’s office was typical of elvish modern tastes. There was a hint of leaves and branches in the corners of the room, but the rest was clean and clinical. It was, after all, supposed to be a neutral space where even humans would feel at ease bringing their woes forward.

And father, well, he looked ancient in that ageless way elves have. But now he seemed haggard. His dark skin seemed flushed, his dreadlocks were out of place. His uniform seemed to be constricting him as he tugged at his collar and cleared his throat. We sat down.

“What’s happening? I understand you probably can’t tell me everything but I’ve got to know at least something! Who is being sent out? When are they leaving-”

Father held up both his hands, and I quieted. He was somber, but understandably so. He’d never been fond of Abeba, but even he must know the severity of the situation. “Desta,” he said solemnly. “I need you to stay calm.”

I rolled my shoulders and sat back. “I am calm. I am not worried. I know you will get them back, and everythign will be fine. This is – just a hiccup.” My voice cracked, but I nodded stiffly. Everything would be fine. The demons would be punished!

Father looked like a man facing down a great beast. Determined. “No one is being sent out,” he said sternly.

My world jarred. Impossible. What did he mean? “A covert mission?” I asked softly. Were the assassins being sent?

The muscles in his jaw worked. “There was summoning circle marked in the ashes of your house. Photographers caught the last remnants of that magic. Ancient, arcane, magic.” He took a deep breath. “Ailbhe summoned the demon who possessed him.” Another pause. “So there was no breach. The demons were invited, and we cannot blame them for doing such.”

My mind was whirling. Ancient, arcane, magic was certainly right up Abeba’s field but he certainly hadn’t willingly summoned a demon to possess him! But no breach – did that mean…

“We are not sending anyone,” Father intoned. “I am sorry, but we cannot.”

My jaw fell. “What?” I said hoarsely. “This must be some joke.”

“Your husband summoned the demons, and we are lucky that they didn’t leave the cirlce they were summoned within,” he said coldly. “We cannot risk starting a war over his foolish actions-”

“He did not do it on purpose!” I screamed. “He would never do that!”

“Desta,” father chided. “Please stay calm.”

I tried, but I was on my feet and my heart was pounding in my ears. My husband, my children – “Is no one really being sent?” I asked hoarsely, eyes transfixed on the crystals nestled among the leaves in the corner of the room.

“It cannot be risked,” he said softly. “You have to understand, peace is too fragile, and the demons haven’t done anything worthy of an attack.”

“They kidnapped my children!” I shrieked, snapping out of my haze to find my fist slamming down upon the desk. “What about them?” Surely, if not my husband, then the children! They were innocent –

But the regret in his face said it all. “I’m sorry,” he said.

A sob tore from me.

“Help! Opened a portal in the living room.”

So today I finished watching season 3 of ‘the Dragon Prince’ on Netflix. Then for some reason, the phrase “Help! Opened a portal in the living room. Send the dragon guards!” popped into my head. And I just had to run with it. For now this is just a blurb, but who knows? Maybe more is to come! Let me know what you think!

////

20191128_2101108291577147206326246.jpg
badly lit sketch of the hapless hubby

“Help! Opened a portal in the living room. Send the dragon guards!”

I grinned. Oh really? Maybe someone shouldn’t have let our three year old play with the magic wands then. Tapping away at my device, I chuckled at the joke. The magic wands opened ‘portals’ to the grasslands that singed our floors. Hardly a catastrophe, as our floor was already seared to a mess. At worst there would be some butterflies portaled into our house.

“Just use the magic extinguisher,” I muttered as I typed it out, then hit send.

I was head of the dragon guards, by the way. We were the patrols that the city wanted more than needed, thankfully. Everfailia was a sweet and peaceful land. Nothing ever really happened here, and the presence of elves mounted atop dragons was more symbolic than anything.

For everythign in Everfailia was peaceful, orderly, and in line. There was the odd case of magical abuse, the rare fight fueled by envy – but even those were scandalous and brought great shame to whatever elf’s house had started it.

No, you see, things were peaceful. And I, head of dragon guards, had one of the most peaceful lives of all. That’s why, even on patrol, I could afford to do this.

“See?” I said, swiping through my phone. “That’s them.”

I showed the picture to the tiny dragon perched on my shoulder, then turned to the large one I was standing beside. Then, I turned to my human companion, Alza-

“Just, no,” she said, holding up a hand. “I’ve seen that picture a dozen times already.”

“Oh come on,” I said, grinning at her as I looped an arm around her armored shoulder and tugged her close. “This is a new one.”

It certainly was, and had been sent that afternoon. There was my hubby (of the Alderi tribe), aiming the phone so that I could clearly see our two little ‘monsters’ tugging at his cheeks and long white hair.

“Yeah,” sighed my compatriot, a guilty undercurrent to her voice. Instantly I cringed as she pointed to my hubby’s shirt in the picture. “Is that baby food on his shirt?”

I scowled and took my phone back, rubbing the screen with my glove. It was baby food. There was even some in his hair. “He’s doing his best,” I muttered. The Alderi were a tribe that weren’t known for being great parents by virtue of not being able to juggle things. There were – old styled, one-tracked. Poets or warriors. Nothing in between.

Which meant my husband had to be one or the other, right? And me, being the great warrior that I was, hsould have married another warrior, right? Someone with flexing abs and biceps of doom? Wrong. My husband wielded the quill, which he always claimed was mightier than the sword – but he partly said that because he physically couldn’t lift a sword. At all.

There was a sigh from my companion. I scowled at her, knowing full well what she was thinking.

“It’s just,” Alza said, half-heartedly waving at my device. “Look at him.”

“I see him,” I snapped defensively. “He’s a great elf.”

“He’s not talented,” she said flatly.

“He is so!” I hissed. “He majored in ancient poetry!”

“Yyeah,” she said. “Poetry so ancient it has no use outside of a museum – which wouldn’t hire him. So now he’s stay at home. And you said yourself he can’t cook.” Then she raised an eyebrow. “Or clean.”

I turned away sulkily. “He cooks and cleans just fine.” I lifted the picture before myself again, and couldn’t help but smile. “And he’s great with the kids.” See how happy they were? I got to go home and just immerse in that. He even pressed my shirts for me.

Another message dinged in. I clicked on it eagerly, expecting an anecdote about our daughter (age two) flinging peas or something. Instead it was an ancient poem in archaic phrasing, saying something about the sun shining and cusps being breached. I hardly understood a word of it.

But I was a supportive spouse and encouraged my hubby, so I typed back ‘nice one!’ and sent it. Then, heaving a dramatic sigh, I stashed my device in my pocket. “Well, time to get back to patrol,” I said cheerfully.

But then the device on my sleeve buzzed. Frowning, I pressed it as I lifted my arm. My companion was doing the same, but she was a millisecond before me, so I saw her eyes widen in horror just as my screen was turning on.

“What?” I asked just as I read the message. A demon fire. At the address – my heart fell out.

Another buzz, this time only on my device. “Come straight to the center.” But I hardly registered it as an order. In fact, I hardly registered anything at all.

My house was on fire – demon fire! How had that happened?

Heart pounding in my throat, I jumped atop Corvus, my large dragon.

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Alza said, but I was already kicking in my heels and taking to the skies.

As we soared through the air, the great wings beating at my sides, I tried to calm myself. I really tried. But the air was stinking with the acrid smell of demon rot. And there, just on the other side of the city, a thick black pitch was rising. This was no tiny fire.

We were there within minutes but my heart hurt every pounding it took to get there. It might have been an eternity. I told myself that the moment I landed, I would see them. Hubby would be there, frazzled as always, our daughter in his arms and our son at his side, dad’s shirt in his grubby little fist.

But somehow the image didn’t stick. I just felt something was wrong, the fear rising painfully in my chest. I found myself praying to the Great Being to spare my family. The house I didn’t care about – but my family!

As we circled down to the narrow street, the view just got worse. The black smoke revealed the charred skeleton of a house, and the burnign catastrophe of the neighboring buildings. Even the houses across the street were seared with charred marks, but they had been doused. There had been a blast, I was realizing. Please, please, they must have gotten out first –

There were giant glowing red marks radiating out from the house. A demon summoning mark. How had that happened?

And then I saw it. A shape in the house. Someone moving.

The minute my dragon’s claws struck the cobbled street I was hitting it too. My boots pounded through the rubble, my leather soles hissing over the ashes. The air was thick, choking and acrid, and I covered my mouth with a sleeve. But I recognized that shape. Slender, but not particularly tall. The silhouette of the ‘poet’s mark’, the messy cascading hair.

“Abeba!” I called out his pet name as I climbed towards him. “Abeba!” I coughed, wondering what he was still doing in here, mind refusing to calculate what he might be searching for. “Abe-”

He turned to face me. My heart skipped a beat as our eyes connected. Normally a bright, clear, blue, now they glowed orange. And there was that smile. Demonic.

My husband was possessed.

“Of Adelaide and Shadow” Chapter Eight

Prince Shadow awoke feeling woozy and sore. With a groan he sat up – only to discover that he was in a bed with the sheets and blankets tucked up over him gently. He was no longer in his armor, instead being dressed in a light sleeping tunic. By the scent of flowers and perfumes, he had been bathed and his hair had been washed.

Blinking in astonishment he looked around. The room was sparse, a small round thing with a domed roof. The rock it was hewn into was a light grey. Sunlight streamed in through light purple curtains.

Gingerly the prince moved. Oh, his body ached. Oh, how there was a sore spot in the middle of his back.

But the prince was stubborn and so he moved, dressing himself with a set of clothes and boots that had been set beside the bed. Then, he stared down the dozen elaborate hair pins that were atop the bedside table. There was even haircombs with gems set in them for his use.

What on earth are these all for?” he muttered to himself. Choosing the plainest comb and pin, he set about pulling his lovely hair back into a braid. That being done he pinned his hair up so it was safely out of the way.

After all, he thought, who knew what sort of horrid and dastardly adventures were about to happen? The last thing any adventurer needed was to have hair in the way!

Now ready to face the day, the prince stalked to the curtain. He brushed it aside and ah! How the light glowed gently over him! How the mountain cried out happily at seeing his face!

For beyond this tall window was a balcony, and beyond this balcony a courtyard, and further yet was the valleys and peaks of the craggly mountains.

With a gasp the prince realized he was in the Dark Queen of the mountain’s castle. Or a section of it at the very least. For where else would there be such a magnificent view?

Drawing the window open, he stepped cautiously out onto the balcony. Warm air greeted his face. Soft music drifted on the wind towards him. The scent of the forest filled his lungs.

Ah, what a lovely moment it was.

Then – he looked to the left.

Oh,” he said, seeing someone looking back.

Hallo,” said one prince to the other. For there sat the elven prince on a cushy velvet pillow, strumming a guitar. His long silver hair was coiffed in long braids that hung down his back. His tunic was simple but elegant in shades of green. His fingers were glimmering with gems as he played.

You kidnapped me,” announced prince shadow, gripping the railing in fury.

Oh don’t be so dramatic,” sighed the prince who was known for being the most dramatic thing on this side of the mountain.

My beloved awaits for me to rescue her!” snapped Prince Shadow. “And you’ve gotten in my way!”

The elf prince strummed louder. “I don’t want to hear about her!” he called over. Then, stopping his music and setting his guitar aside, he rose to his feet. In three steps he was at the edge of where his balcony ended and Shadow’s began. “I’m your beloved now,” he announced.

That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard yet, and believe you me I’ve heard a lot of stupid things. Now give me back my sword and armor.”

No,” said the elf snobbishly. “Aren’t you too sore to wear any armor?” Then, he added with a sneaky grin. “Have you any pain in your back?”

The prince scowled. Ah, he thought, the ruffian hath laid a curse upon me! But for all his sneakiness and cleverness, he was honest. “Well yes,” he admitted. “What spell have you cast upon me?”

I placed a pea underneath your mattress,” said the elf prince most smugly. “I heard only the most refined and noble of human princes can’t sleep unless they are on the softest of beds.” The elf grinned victoriously. “This makes you worthy to be my betrothed.”

Prince Shadow scowled, straightening his back. “Ah, it is but a miserable little back ache. It does not prove a thing!”

The elf prince grinned. “It means everything!” And then, perhaps just to be irritating or perhaps he truly was attempting to woo the prince, he sat back down on his pillow and began to play a love tune.

Oh bugger!” said Shadow, snatching at some moss off the wall and holding it to his ear. “Stop playing!”

Hey!” squealed the moss. “Lemme go!”

Ah!” the prince yelped and threw the moss at the other prince. The moss, which was a talking moss native to the talking marshes, landed with a soft thwump on the guitar. It oozed and squelched down to sit atop the elf prince’s knee. There, it hummed and began to sing along (just to irritate prince Shadow).

Prince Shadow threw a tiff. He marched back into his room, shutting the glass door that led onto the porch. He yanked the curtains shut as well!

But still, just to irk him, he could still hear that elf warbling on about their unending love. And still, he heard the moss singing along ‘sha la la’ in the background.

Prince shadow pulled out his hair pins and shook his hair down (for all glorious and dastardly villains think with their hair down and framing their face most evilly). Hair now suitably evil looking (and gloriously beautiful and glossy in the darkened room) he began to pace. And plot. And plan.

Finally, he tried the door to his room. Just to be sure it was locked.

It was.

Then he went back to pacing. And planning. And plotting.

After the third ballad was crooned to him from across the balcony, he came up with a plan.

It was a most dastardly plan. It was reckless, it was bold, and it was glamorous, er, uhm, brilliant.

So the prince set down and began tearing the bedsheets up into long and thin strips. This was harder than it seemed, as the seams were quite strong. But he channeled all his princely frustration into the ripping thereof, and he soon had quite a number of long strips. These he then began to braid together.

Picture if you will, gentle reader, the dark prince sitting in the shadows, smirking as he twisted and wrenched the fabric together. Beyond the curtains the sun was setting and shadows were creeping up the walls.

Just about as the prince wound the last braid and knotted it shut with a frustrated yank, the strumming stopped from the other balcony. The moss finished its last ‘sha la la’ and there was the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Will you be coming for supper?” called out the elf prince. “My parents are expecting you.”

Prince Shadow yanked again on the knot just to be sure it was tight. “No!” he called out. Viciously, he imagined himself kicking a number of royal elves in the buttocks.

Why?” whined the elf prince, his voice closer. “They’re going to imagine you don’t want to meet them!”

‘because I don’t’, mouthed Shadow. Then, he straightened and walked to the curtains. With a villainous sigh he composed himself and tossed his luxurious and quasi-hypnotizing hair over his shoulder. Then he brushed the curtains aside, pulled the glass door open, and marched on out.

It was a good thing he had chosen to do it too, for the elf prince had one leg slung over their railing. “Oh,” he said, “I was just about to come say hallo-”

Prince Shadow took him by the shoulders and pushed him back onto his side of the balcony.

Oh!” said the elf prince, completely miffed. “You’re acting like you don’t like me.”

Oh, woe, thought prince shadow, pressing his lips together tightly. Then, with a glamorous sigh, he put the second part of his plan into action.

First, he swept his hair from his face. Ah, how the dark elf prince swooned, dazzled by such beauty.

Listen,” Prince Shadow said in a most sweet and seductive tone that he could manage. “I need to be alone tonight.” And, for good measure, he combed his hair again from his face. “Men like I, who are so sensitive of heart and skin, we must be left to meditate upon things.”

The elf prince merely blinked, oblivious to all but how beautiful this mesmerizing creature was before him. Shadow might as well have been listing the virtues of one ox in the marketplace for all the elf prince noticed his words.

Shadow smiled sweetly, leaning forward across the railing towards the elf. “So you are going to leave me perfectly alone tonight? You won’t send anyone to disturb me? I really need to be alone.”

Of, course,” said the elf prince as he leaned forward with stars in his eyes and heart a-flutter.

Great! See you tomorrow!” and Shadow whirled away so fast his hair whipped the elf prince in the face. With a dart and a duck he was back into his room with the door and curtains shut.

The elf prince sighed and plunked his chin into his palm. “He likes me,” he murmured, staring off into the distance where his beloved had just been.

In his room, prince Shadow was gleefully holding a series of keys he’d just stolen off the crown prince’s belt. Holding it to his chest, he stifled a villainous chuckle. He combed his beautiful hair back from his face, and began to plot some more.

Now, as the elf prince skipped off to supper with his family and the stars began to shine in the sky, the dark prince by the name of Shadow had several plans in his head.

Firstly, the dark and nefarious prince wanted to rush out the window and be free! But he knew he would not get far without a sword, or armor. So he must find a way to get some.

Now upon this, he thought and thought and thought. And then he thought some more. As a plan of the most cruel and dastardly sorts came to fruition in his mind, he tiptoed to the wall on the side of the prince’s room and pressed his ear against it. There, he waited for some time.

Finally, he heard the sounds of the elf prince returning from supper. He was alone (perfect!, thought prince Shadow) and he was soon laying down with a creak on his bed.

Prince Shadow smirked. He hid the series of keys in a pocket in his tunic. He combed his hair back and stuck a very sharp hairpin in it. He selected a series of three other hairpins and placed them in his belt. Then, he stepped out onto the balcony.

Much like the elf prince had done earlier on, he slung himself over from one balcony to the other.

A cool breeze gusted over the prince, ruffling his hair and setting it to dance in the wind. His face reflected in the glass, and it was beautiful and almost innocent looking. Beyond, the curtains were drawn and so prince Shadow could not see into the room.

He tried the door, and it was locked fast. So he knocked gently on the window, calling out “It is I,” in a very soft and gentle voice.

There was a rustle and the sound of footsteps. The curtains were brushed aside, revealing a most perplexed prince. He unlocked the glass door and pulled it open.

What are you-?” he started, but prince Shadow put a finger to his lips.

Shhh,” Shadow said. Then, trailing his finger down to the elf prince’s shoulders, he pushed him backwards into his room.

Eyes widening, the elf prince moved like a happy puppet. Shadow shut the glass door behind them and drew the curtain. Just in case guards might look up. Then, he drew the sharp pin from his hair.

With one glance around, he saw that this room was much like his own, except that it was not quite as empty. There was a chest of clothing, a hand stand, and a very large and comfortable looking bed. Shadow smirked at the sight of the bed. He pointed at it with the hairpin.

I am going to tie you to your bed with your shirt,” he announced in a whisper.

Alright,” said the elf prince most naively.

Shadow smirked.

Moments later, Shadow was still smirking. “I told you I was tying you to your bed,” he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Mff!” protested the elf prince who, indeed, was tied to the bed posts by virtue of his torn-up shirt. He was also gagged by virtue of a piece of shirt as well. He aimed a kick at Shadow and badly missed.

Now,” Shadow said, reaching into his pocket. “If I recall well, you had peas placed in my bed. A thing I am quite sore about,” he muttered viciously while drawing several dried peas from his pocket. These were the ones that had been placed under his mattress and which he had discovered while plotting and rummaging around earlier on. “And since you are such a curious elf,” he stooped over and lifted the side of the mattress. “You shall find out if your skin is as thin as mine. There!” and he tossed the peas under the mattress. “Have a good night!”

Mff!” said the elf prince in horror, knowing full well that he too would have a sore back by the morning if he slept on peas.

Shadow chuckled darkly to himself and let the mattress down with a thump. Then, sweeping his glorious hair from his face, he marched to the chest and began to rummage in it. Several moments later he found that the sword he was looking for was directly beside it.

I’ll be taking this,” Shadow said, taking the sword and its belt and tying it around himself. “And this,” he said, stealing a magical chest plate that made one look most manly and handsome. “And this,” he said, taking the shoulder pauldrons that magically never mussed one’s hair or snagged them in any way. “And this,” he said, taking arm bracers that magically … something or other.

Then, dressed and ready to run for his life and that of his beloved, prince Shadow drew open the curtain. But first, he, like all true villainous people, had to monologue.

Good bye my not-so-beloved,” he snarked, executing a bow. “Rest well!” And then he drew the glass door open and crept out onto the balcony.

The elf prince rolled his eyes and hmphed in disdain.

Outside, the moon was glowing gently among some fluffy clouds. The air was now crisp and cool. Gentle breezes rustled through leaves and carried the scents of the forest to the prince.

It was the perfect night for an escape.

The prince let down his rope of braided bedstuff. It was long enough to trail onto the grass of the gardens. With a gleeful smirk he thought himself so lucky.

And then, just as he swung himself off the porch and began his descent – the moss started to holler.

ALARM ALARM! The hostage/guest of honor is escaping! ALARM! ALARM! He’s braided a rope of bedstuff and is climbing down from the porch! ALARM! ALARM!”

The prince cursed. How he hated talking mosses!

So the prince scurried down that rope as fast as a snake! He scurried, he rushed, and he darted out into the dark garden.

Within moments a series of elven guards arrived upon the scene, their armor glistening in the moonlight and their lovely hair shining as well. Swiftly, under the clever orders of Sheer’na, they encircled the gardens and began to ruffle through the bushes.

The prince, meanwhile, was up in a tree and observing all this. Oh, how lucky he was, he thought. Unless they thought of looking up, he would still be able to sneak away.

And then he leaned against the mossy tree trunk.

ALARM! ALARM!” shrieked that moss. “The handsomely dastardly prince is up in this tree! ALARM ALARM!”

Oh, goodness. How the prince hated talking mosses. How he also hated blow guns as another sleeping dart thudded into his neck, narrowly avoiding the armor he wore. As wooziness and sleep claimed him, he fell from the tree with a thud.

When the prince awoke, he was tied to a bed by virtue of – not his shirt – but by what looked like very solid rope. He had been stripped of the armor and there was twigs and leaves in his lovely hair.

Several guards stood about the room with cross expressions on. Amongst them, with the most unhappy expression of all, was the humiliated elf prince.

The prince had a tunic on, but there was no clothing that could hide that look of damaged pride.

Prince Shadow looked at him guiltily. “I suppose you won’t let me tie you to your bedposts again?”

Augh!” the elf prince shouted, snatching up a pillow from the bed and beating Shadow about the head with it. “You horrid, stinky, awful, thing!”

There, there,” muttered Sheer’na, pulling the flustered prince away from the bed. “You said yourself he told you what he was going to do.”

But, but!” wailed the elf prince while Shadow spat out a mouthful of feathers.

Hush,” muttered Sheer’na. “Please be quiet until your parents arrive.”

Parents?” squawked prince Shadow.

Yes,” said the elf prince smugly, holding the pillow to his side. “You have broken our law by attempting to leave without permission – and so they will judge you harshly!”

A sense of dread settled over prince Shadow. What was he to do? For the Dark elves of the mountain were known for being cruel and just as mysterious and strange as the Great Queen who ruled above them. What sort of punishments would they reserve for someone … attempting to leave?

Ah! How Prince Shadow wondered!

And Ah! So shall you. For behold! Another cliffhanger.

 

I Wrote a Thing!!

I did, I did, and I did it despite being horribly depressed! And damn, if this is the story that makes me feel better then so be it! Because I’m not doing so good these days, and writing it actually helped a little.

So what did I write out of the usual? Well, a LOTR inspired fanfiction. I know, who cares? There’s a zillion (gay) ones already out there. Well, I saw an idea whip by on instagram, and I thought, hey, I’mma write that.

So, BEHOLD ya fuckers,

What if the Elves were Evil and the Orcs good?!

Yes, I know, such an ingenious title. It totally summarizes the story and ‘vibe’ so well. But chill with me here a minute. The concept is not only that the orcs are good beings with a heart and soul, but that they are being led by a badass woman who just came to power. Oh yeah, she rocks. Me likey.

But the story centers around an uruk-hai who gets captured by humans, saved by an obligatorily beautiful elf prince, and you can probably guess how it goes from there. Or can you?

I just wrote the first chapter, and would love some feedback. But, you know, it’s fanfiction so don’t take it too seriously.