Don’t Try THIS At Home (no matter how bored you are)

If you only read the first line -> don’t try the rituals in ‘Welcome to Circlet School’ at home, okay?

Let me explain why. The ritual performed by the ‘madame’ in the latest saga of the Circlet School is based upon a very real ritual that was attended by a friend of mine, who then showed me the ritual print-out to prove it.

People. I can’t believe I have to write this, but I will tell you that I literally just rattled off whatever came to mind and that made the ritual the ‘madam’ performed. So PLEASE do not try it at home. Here’s why:

When rattling off whatever came to mind, I remembered all the mistakes I’d seen in my friend’s ritual she’d attended. I intentionally wrote them in, because they’re common things I see happening in the community.

Pro tip: proper ritual is very much like math. Every deity summoned must then be properly and ! politely ! dismissed. Every spirit summoned usually has a purpose and a specific reason to be there. Don’t just randomly summon whatever comes to mind.

Other Pro tip: Stick to one cultural group/pantheon when summoning things. This increases your chance of them getting along. You can bust this rule if you plot out carefully who will be there and make sure it’s all okay.

Other Pro Tip: summonings are supposed to be like calling cards. Don’t just summon a generic group like ‘djinns’, unless you want literally whomever to show up. Boo. Bad. Stranger danger.

Even more Pro Tip: make sure they get along before summoning them together. I don’t know, try not to summon them together if, mythos wise, they hate each other? Case in point: don’t summon Iblis and Michael together in the same circle.

Final Pro Tip: know what the fuck you’re saying. “Eli eli lama sabacthani” means ‘my god my god, why have you forsaken me’. it’s from the bible, when Jesus was on the cross. It has literally nothing to do with banishings, but hey, it sounded cool in the moment.

People. Don’t just summon or do whatever. Research your rituals. Make sure they are cohesive and are logical. I know everyone hates math, but I promise you it’s very similar and rather simple. There’s great formats out there by druid groups and scott cunningham-esque people. If anyone is struggling with a ritual, just reach out and ask someone (like me, or a fellow witch you trust). But please, please, don’t just chuck in whatever makes your ritual sound impressive. You might get something impressively bad.

Finally, in case you didn’t read this whole brick: DON’T DO RITUALS FROM MY FICTION BOOKS. IT’S FUCKING FICTION.

Photo by Joy Marino on