Lage’s Game ~ Chapter Five Part Two

I couldn’t maim the men. I couldn’t exact vengeance.

For some reason, that knowledge burned at me. The security didn’t know what to do when they arrived. The unconscious men had supposedly been taken into custody by the police but I doubted anything would happen. Supposedly – supposedly there was no proof.

No proof.

I was just standing there when the police arrived. They said my story didn’t make sense. Now, I was going to watch my kidnappers walk free.

I was furious with the green man for rescuing me. I’d rather be dead than alive right now. I wanted this to be over, to have exacted vengeance, even if it was in some small way.

“Please, sweetie, eat something,” said Kayla as she pushed the take out towards me. I glared at her. She offered me a miserable smile. She was on the phone with the school board and was convincing them that I didn’t need to show up for the final days of school.

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” she announced for the umpteenth time to the phone, as if to make it real. It would be real, I was sure. But then what?

I stared down at the thai noodles. I poked at a piece of tofu. Hunger evaded me. I wanted – I wanted to throw this food at the wall.

Instead I sat quietly. I pushed the food away. I crossed my arms, hugging myself. I missed my unicorn. No one had found it in the hallways, even if I asked several times for it.

“We’ll get you another one,” Kayla had promised as she had wiped her own tears away before hugging me to her chest.

Now I just wanted Kayla to be gone. I wanted her somewhere safe, away from me. I wanted everyone away from me. I was a walking danger magnet it seemed.

Rising from the kitchen table, I went to the living room. Mid-way there, I crossed the entrance hall, and there I froze. A figure was standing on the other side of the entrance door’s frosted glass. It was just a shape, but it was a tall, thick, man-shape.

My mind whirled. Uncle was at the office for the rest of the day. Wanda was upstairs.

The door knocked. The figure shrunk as the person stepped away from the door.

“What is it?” Kayla was beside me, walking to the door. To me, she asked “Is someone there?”

I nodded, mouth dry and eyes wide. Kayla drew the curtain aside from the window beside the door and peered out. “There’s no one,” she murmured. Frowning, she pulled the door open. Then her eyes looked down. “Oh!” she cried out. She fumbled the phone. “I’ll have to call you back!”

I was walking forward, trying to get a look but she shut the door. “Stay there!” she said, spinning to face me. “Don’t go out!”

But I saw it. There, perched on the door’s step, looking inwards expectantly, was my unicorn.

Kayla called the police. “The unicorn is here!” she said insistently. “The kidnappers must have brought it!” She peered again out the window. “They left it at the front door!” Then, exasperated, she exclaimed “Well, do something!

I went and sat upstairs in Wanda and Uncle’s bedroom. The police came by. I was sure they photographed the unicorn, and did all those police-y things that they showed on TV. I heard vioces speaking to Kayla, and then the door was shut.

Silence. Footsteps padded softly up the stairs. I sat up from the bed, and Kayla was in the doorway. “I’m sorry,” she said, eyes red even as she faked a smile. “They’re keeping it as evidence.”

Even my unicorn was gone. Great.

Somehow, that felt like a gaping cavern inside me – but I was numb all at the same time. Did gaping chasms have feelings, or where they just – there? I lay back down face-first on the bed.

The bed shifted. I looked up as Kayla sat beside me. She stroked my head, eyes shimmering with tears. “I’m so sorry,” she croaked, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry about everything-” and she sobbed.

Our hands gripped at each other. We held on tight.

That night, Kayla slept on the floor beside my couch. Wanda and the cousins were quiet as we slept early.

“We’re leaving first thing tomorrow morning,” Kayla announced to no one in particular as she spread out her blankets on the floor. She ruffled up her pillow, and lay down as if demanding the world comply with her.

That next morning, Kayla was looking starched and ready. Her makeup was a bit fuzzy, but otherwise she looked a bit better than usual- which was a sign that she was on edge. She wasn’t relaxed. She was stiff like a starched collar.

I woke up to her shaking me out of nightmares of police and large men. Breakfast was a shoddy affair, as Wanda and Uncle were still asleep. Kayla was determined that they would sleep, but just before we carried our bags out the door, Wanda appeared in the living room.

“Hey,” and she held out her arms to Kayla. “Take care, hon.”

Then, the hug was turned to me. I hugged Wanda back, thinking this might be the last time I ever saw her. Then, Kayla opened the door and we were off.

As per her ritual, as she announced to me, Kayla bought herself an extra large coffee and we hit the highway.

The drive was long, and I slept most of the morning away. We stopped for a hasty lunch and when we were back in the car on our way Kayla seemed more relaxed.

Hours later, I dozed off again. I slept right through suppertime, and was woken by the sound of the car crunching over gravel. That, and the sheer happiness radiating off Kayla

“Here we are!” she announced as we drew to a stop.

We were outside a small house. It looked like a cabin, a sort of suburban cutesy thing. It was difficult to see much, as the night was pitch dark. Mosquitoes flew here and there. There was a small flower patch out front, a bird bath, and solar lamps that were aglow lining the driveway.

Kayla let out a happy sigh as she swung out of the car. I stepped out of the car, but didn’t do a happy sound. Rather, I felt completely cramped. Instantly mosquitoes swarmed around me.

Kayla began chattering as we got our baggages from the trunk. “Welcome to my home!” she was saying as she closed the trunk of the car. “It’s small but it’s cozy. There’s an extra room you can have, and,”

I didn’t hear the rest. Something was sitting on the front steps, just before the front door. It was pale, small, and the shape was all too familiar.

Kayla stopped talking too as she saw it. “Is that a package?” she asked as she marched towards it ahead of me.

Of course it wasn’t. It was my unicorn.

Kayla picked it up. Her back was to me, her face shrouded in curls as she held it in her trembling hands.

“I don’t think the police kept it,” I said softly.

Feeling Better Slowly…

So today I managed to do an array of things, among which was (drumroll) painting!

Yall, I’m working on a tarot deck, and it’s going to take me forever to do, but I’m loving it. Its adorable, cute, and aimed for children.

I know, children and tarot? Who will buy that? I dont know, and I dont quite care. I love what I’m doing, and I think it’s going to be a good deck.

So, I managed to do some writing and painting today, mulling over some advice from my wife about adding texture in and whatnot. Which, resulted in the below picture.

Y’all, it’s unfinished, and its from Ranger’s story, which I am still working on in the background.

Anyways, I’m not sure what else to say, apart from thank you all for being patient with me. I’m finally getting back on my feet, and I’m really looking forward to getting to do more gardening and writing (I did a teensy bit of gardening today!).

I would love to be active in the social rights movement (Black lives matter, loss of lgbt rights in the states, etc) but I just cant. I can barely upkeep with my showers, so please, forgive me for not being that active. My heart is with the protestors and all who are struggling, but I just cant right now. I need to put my own facemask on first, to try and be useful later on, which sucks.

Thank you for sticking with me. Much love y’all ❤

Chaos & Kuryo (novel 3) Chapter 18 part 2

Chaos POV

I sprawled on the floor, whining pitiably. It was cold, painful, and would have been humiliating if I didn’t know it was driving everyone else nuts.

All the nuns were lined up for prayer, their head nun reading out passages, and I was just laying there near my alter ego, being loudly miserable.

Finally, when I began to wail, the bible (or whatever book they were reading from) was snapped shut. “Demon! Enough!” barked the head mistress.

I sat up. “Are you going to free me?”


I flopped back down, banging my head onto the floor accidentally. But I didn’t care, letting out a pitiable wail. Hey, I might as well express myself.

My nun glared down at me. “Silence yourself!”

I wailed, rolling so my back was presented to her. “I’m just here to see the Sephira! You don’t need to mistreat me like this!”

“Maybe you would hear the Sephira speaking if you would shut up!” barked the headmistress, whipping a wooden ruler stick out from her skirts. She pointed it dramatically at me. “You-”

Bang! Somewhere, a door was flung open. The nuns gasped. I sat up, spider senses tingling and common sense telling me that something was happening.

Indeed, trouble had just arrived in the shape of a dozen or so guards. They were dressed full medieval style with capes and helmets and swords unsheathed. One guard who hung behind the others (in a red cape instead of the pale orange the others wore) called out. “Fiends! Worshippers of the gods! We have found you at long last! DIE!”

Well, if there was ever a ‘bad guy’ speech, that was it. But this was no coincidence! I lunged to my feet and jumped over the pews. I was damned if I was failing this test. It felt as obvious as if a videogame banner had appeared in the corner of my screen labeled ‘save the nuns’.

“Hey, idiots!” I shouted out, bursting up a glittering green magic shield around myself. Hello? Glowing green target? I couldn’t possibly make myself more obvious. With a flick of the wrists, my swords appeared in my wrists. “I’m here!”

The knights all drew to a halt. I darted around the pews, placing myself effectively between the two parties. Yeah, go me. Hero mode or what?

The red cloaked knight in the back marched forward. “What are you waiting for? Get the women! I’ll take care of this one.”

Uh, huh. Yeah, well, how about no? Jumping forward, I slashed down, setting a spell into the ground. It scattered out at my sides, a dark wave of magic that built up like walls on either side of me.

Bitch, they’d HAVE to get through me.

“Magic!” whispered one very daft soldier, as if he’d just cued in then.

I straightened, rolling my shoulders into place and taking my best fighting stance. “Come at me,” I sneered.

The red-cloaked knight stepped before me. “Who are you? How dare you-”

I took a running jump and slammed a foot in his face. There, that settled it! I landed, and swords erupted around me. I spun, slashing and kicking.

With a terrible war cry, a particular nun came barging through the wall I had created. “Demon!” she called out. “Take this!”

What? I spun and was very nearly whacked in the forehead with a thick glass bottle. I caught it, but barely.

“Holy oil!” she called out as I ducked a sword slice and rolled over the floor.

Holy oil? What the – ohhh. Oil!

Back on my feet, I uncorked the bottle with my teeth and, jumping back, tipped the contents back into my mouth.

Ohh, it burnt. But that was beside the point. As the knights rushed at me, I spat it out at them, lighting my swords on fire at the same time.

Fi-yah! Fwoosh! One slice of my blades, and knights were now erupting in screaming flames. It was ridiculously effective. Swish! Slice! I made short work of them, running around stabbing and cutting throats.

With yells and lots of scampering, the last few knights turned and ran straight back out the way they had come in.

Taking a deep breath, I let my magic wall fall down. Turning, I looked over the nuns. All safe. Heyyyy – guess who just won some Sephira points? Yeah?

I looked hopefully at the statue. No magical glimmering or anything. I looked to the head mistress. She was pale, shocked, but was starting to walk towards me.

“You did it!” yelled my alter ego, running up to me. “You saved us!”

I grinned and nodded, but the head mistress was grim. “They will return with more strength now that they know where we are. We must flee.”

“But to where?” cried out another nun. “They have spies everywhere!”

“Hey,” I said. Eyes turned to me. The head mistress nodded to my alter ego.

“Release the demon. It has redeemed itself.”

With a grim nod, my alter ego reached forward and pulled the rosary off my head. I grinned, but felt no different.

“K, thanks,” I said. “But what’s going on around here? Why-” I glanced back at the Sephira statue. “Why are you all being hunted?”

The head mistress drew herself up stiffly. “We are the last god-worshippers. They have been trying to wipe us all out ever since that god-slayer began her campaign three years ago. Since then, there has never been a moment’s respite!”

“Oh,” I said, feeling the next mission being unlocked and popping up in the back of my mind. “There’s a god-killer?”

“Yes!” “Oh yes!” the nuns chorused, nodding in tandem.

I bit my bottom lip. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do,” I said. Then, on second thought. “Where can I find this god-killer?”

There was a pause. “They travel amongst the realms,” said the head mistress. “They do not stay in one place.”\

Uh huh. I looked to the statue of Mary, Queen of Demons. “Alright,” I said. “I’ve got an idea.”

Depression and Writing

Depression is hitting me hard. I think it’s my symptom/condition that I have the hardest time accepting. It’s not glamorous, it’s never fun and never makes you feel special. It always makes me feel like I’m worthless and useless. As an author, this preys on my natural beliefs.

You see, I tend to see myself as a vessel for my stories. But combined with my depression, I feel like nothing BUT a vessel. I feel like I’m nothing without them.

The sad truth is that writing is my whole life. It’s me. It’s been my refuge since childhood, where it suddenly filled a void within me that hurt so badly until then. Ever since I started writing, my days rotate around it. As a kid, I would squeeze it in whenever, would draw my characters everywhere, and obsessed over them.

Now, I wake up thinking of my novels. I spend my mornings wondering what I’ll do until I get the chance to write. My whole day is just spent waiting until the right time to write. I know I dont have the mental energy to write all day, but I wish I could. Already I love writing 5 hours a day, and feel bad if I “waste” even one of those hours not hammering out words.

I know this isn’t healthy, but it is what it is. My writing is my life. The only other thing more important is my wife and my relatives. Literally, unless it’s a basic need, everything else feels secondary. I dont want to travel, I dont want a career, I just want to be good at writing and do my stories justice. I want to accomplish what this drive in me is calling for.

But when depression hits, as it does now, I cant write. Every word hurts, I cant think, and then everything that makes me ‘me’ seems to crumble away. What use am I if I cant write? Not being able to write for even one day is a terrible blow. What if my stories are terribly written? What good am I if i can’t get my stories out there properly, to those who need to read them? I know it sounds dramatic, but not being able to write feels like a poisonous sin that will destroy me.

I know, in some way, that my belief of me being just a vessel for writing is bad for me. I need to see myself as more. But how do I do that? It’s like seeing yourself beyond an addiction, in some way.

And then, what’s wrong with this view, if it gives me purpose and value, even in some small way? I know I should see myself as more, but what if I dont feel like more? I feel like so much in my life just points towards writing, and like it’s the cornerstone of my life. Where would I be without it?

I know, in some factual way, that I am a person without my writing. I’ve experienced that, by having my spiritual projects. But… I just feel like more with my writing. I feel this compulsion and a sense of destiny and being attuned with the universe when it comes to writing. Is that a symptom of a delusion? I dont know what to think some days.

I guess I cant hope to find other people who feel this way. I’ve hoped, and as of yet haven’t found other writers who seem to have this weird perspective and obsession and maybe even delusion with their writing. And yet I hope. I feel lonely, a lot, so isolated with my writing. It’s not the only way I connect with people, but unless someone dips into this part of me, do they know me at all? Will I ever find that I am not alone in this weird feeling?

Chaos & Kuryo (Novel 3) Chapter 3, Part 1

Chaos’s POV

“Okay, but we’ve got to do something,” was the most constructive I could get.

Aaliyah and Jade had tried summoning the principals. I’d even tried praying to the great beyond. No such luck. No magic was manifesting. We were just – here. Stuck.

But we were running out of steam. It was now early afternoon. I should be finishing my work shift. Kuryo should be coming home from school. Charr- should be telling us all that we were lazy.

I wanted to bawl. My little family was in tatters around me. If there was something, anything, that I could do, I’d do it without a blink. But there was nothing to do.

“For fuck’s sake,” groaned Jade, who never swore. We were all around the coffee table, heads in our hands. Aaliyah had just given up on pacing. I was still holding off on the whole crying thing, but why I don’t know. There was nothing else to do!

“We should pick up the blood,” said Jade. “It’s not like the cops are going to come looking.”

Aaliyah frowned. “If they do, we really do need to pick up the blood.”

None of us moved.

Then, behold! Ask and ye shall receive!

Wham! There was a crackle in the universe! Pow! A ripple just moved through the air and I nearly barfed, it just felt so weird inside of my skin.

Someone appeared, landing on the edge of the coffee table between it and the wall. Someone with blue hair and a blue jacket and –

“Kuryo?!” we all yelled, jumping up to our feet collectively.

The figure straightened woozily. My heart pounded. Same haircut, different clothes but – the face was older by a few years. And plus, you know, he had a giant pair of crow wings he was stabilizing himself with as he staggered.

Jade and Aaliyah slumped. “Oh,” Jade said as we all realized at about the same time that this wasn’t our Kuryo.

“Uh?” he asked as he looked around at us. There was an anger, a tightness to his face. He was frowning like it had been cut into him to be that way.

“Who the fuck are you?” I practically, well, okay, did, yell at the top of my lungs. Everyone startled and got my point.

“Isn’t he-” Aaliyah asked.

“No he’s not! It was another one!” I hissed. This one didn’t look like he’d hit a gym for six years straight. This guy had shorter hair like our Kuryo and his clothes were… looking like a mix of high fashion meets space station. Yeah, and he had gloves on. Not that that meant anything but – “So who the fuck are you?” I demanded, furious. I’d had it! Someone was giving me answers!

This new kuryo – let’s call him V2 for the sake of simplicity – lifted a hand at me with the assurance of someone who was used to being listened to. “Calm down,” he ordered.

“Oh yeah?” I yelled, flicking my wrists so my swords flicked out.

V2 yelled wordlessly, jumping back. His giant wings flashed out and he was now in a crouch, ready to vanish.

“Chaos!” Aaliyah yelled. Then, in a blurr of gold there was this giant dragon before me, between me and V2. Or more like, there was this dragon with one foot in the coffee table, a wing nearly bashing out the lightbulb, and V2 was crushed up against the wall, emitting a small “Fuck!”

Jade’s voice floated over “Alrihgt, everyone just calm down.”

Aaliyah swung her giant head from me to V2, snorting. I nodded and sheathed my swords.”Okay, okay,” I muttered, holding up my hands now.

V2 muttered curses under his breath as Aaliyah returned to her normal harmless looking self. He stepped off the wall and shook his wings out.

“Okay, now you.” Aaliyah pointed to V2, then to the sofa. “Sit down.”

V2 did just that. Aaliyah looked at me and pointed to the other side of the smashed coffee table. “You sit too.”

I dropped down so hard it hurt. Crossed my arms and legs in a huff. There! Now what?

Like a coach scolding us, Aaliyah looked me and V2 over. Jade was like an aggravated parent, there for backup but not sure either what was going on.

“Alright,” Aaliyah said sharply. “you,” to V2. “Who are you and why are you here?”

V2 looked her up and down. With a sharp exhale he said “I’m Kay. Senior member of the Rebellion, shooter squad, and husband to Charr, the senate leader. I was just killed.”

“You’re obviously alive!” I yelled out.

“Chaos!” Aaliyah hissed. “Let him finish!”

V2’s eyes were growing wide. “Charr! They’re after her!” V2 was jumping back up to his feet. “I’ve got to get back! I’ve got to- there’s got to be a way to save her,” and he turned to us. “Send me back!”

We all looked at each other. You could have heard a penny drop.

“We didn’t summon you,” said Aaliyah.

V2 flapped his arms. “I don’t have the power to dimension travel! Someone sent me here! Whoever it is- send me back!”

“Hey,” Aaliyah said. “Our Kuryo just went missing yesterday, along with Charr. Maybe you were brought here for a reason.”

V2 glared at her, his voice rising a notch. “I don’t give a shit! I’ve got to get back to my wife and baby!”

I frowned and tightened my arms across my chest, hugging myself. Both Charrs were pregnant. There was another Kuryo who wasn’t Kuryo. Where the fuck was this going?

“Hey,” Aaliyah held up a hand. “You’re Kay? The version who tried to kill our Kuryo a few years ago? Through the rebellion?”

“Yeah, that’s me?” snapped V2.

“Then who was here yesterday? Who’s the third Kuryo?” Aaliyah asked. “I thought Kuryo had only met one version of himself before.”

“Don’t know, don’t care, send me back!” V2 nearly yelled, flapping his arms again.

Aaliyah gave him a dead serious look. “Check yourself for a black box.”

“Why would I have the black box on me?” snapped V2, but he began patting himself down. His face dropped as he patted one of his jacket pockets. Out he drew a black box on a black leather strap that looked suspiciously like the ones Charr and Kuryo used to have.

“Oh, shit,” moaned Jade as V2 paled.

“What?” I wailed. “What does that mean?” Because, obviously, I was the only one who didn’t understand.


“When the principals send out people to do their bidding, to fix screw-ups in this dimension, they give them black boxes to time and dimension travel,” said Aaliyah.

We were now all sitting around the shattered coffee table, passing around a bottle of whiskey. Jade took two strong gulps before passing it around. V2 sniffed it then handed it over to me with a repulsed look. I gulped it, swallowed the burn, then handed it to Aaliyah.

“So?” I croaked.

“So,” she took a swig of whiskey. “Our Charr and Kuryo were the ‘fixers’. Now they’re not, which tells us that they’re in trouble or dead for good. Also – there’s a new fixer, which means something is wrong. He was sent here, which means we’ve got something to do with it.”

I blinked and tried not to absorb the bad while still getting the point. That meant I pretty much ignored the whole thing. “So?” I repeated like an unhappy parrot.

“Kuryo and Charr are in serious trouble and someone actually needs to go rescue them,” Jade snapped. “That’s what.”

I smacked a palm onto the table. “Then let’s do this!”

V2 looked at me like I was a dumb, dumb, plum. “The Academy is coming back to life,” he said deadpan. “It’s probably got them by now.”

Jade snorted whiskey up her nose. “What?” said Aaliyah.

“It sent something to attack us.” V2 paused. “I’m not sure what they are. But,” and he fiddled with a chipped piece of the table. “They bargained for Charr. They offered a peace treaty in exchange for her.”

“Charr?” I barked.

V2 nodded miserably. “Just her.”

“And what did you do?” I asked.

V2 glared at me. “We declared war. And I’m quite sure we’re losing. I was just hoping Charr would be able to give birth before we were captured.”

There was a heavy pause in the air. Aaliyah looked down into the whiskey bottle as if it was a source of wisdom. “So – you think the Kuryo who was here yesterday, brought our Kuryo to the academy?”

“Pretty sure, yeah,” V2 nodded.

“What’s up with the pregnancy though?” I asked. “The other Charr was pregnant too. What’s that got to do with anything?”

V2 looked around. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “The baby was kind of a surprise for us. We’d stopped taking sperm sponsors a while ago-”

“Sperm sponsors?” I asked loudly. Maybe the whiskey was hitting a bit.

V2 made a face at me. “Well yeah!” he snapped, bristling. “I can’t really father the child, now can I?”

I just sat there, deadpan confused. “Why not?” Testicles blown off?

“Because I’m, transgender?” said V2 testily. “Like your Kuryo?”

My jaw hit the floor. “Kuryo is what?” I shrieked.

Chaos & Kuryo (Novel 3) Chapter 2, Part 2

Chaos’s POV

“Do you ever feel left out?” I moaned, the grand life question slipping from me.

I was draped across AJ’s way too comfortable couch, an arm resting across my eyes and the other hanging down to the floor. My feet (boot-less) were propped up on the arm rest. AJ (the two of them) were sitting on the floor around a coffee table, sharing homework woes.

“No, not really,” Jade had the kindness to answer. Aaliyah just kept her resting bitch face on.

I heaved a sigh and looked over at them. “I feel so left out.”

“Do you?” Jade asked rhetorically as she highlighted passages in a book.

A lump formed in my throat. “I feel temporary,” I said, skirting around the real issue.

Both heads looked up. Then they looked back down. “Maybe that’s a reflection of how you’re approaching the relationship,” said Jade.

I made a face and returned to moping at the ceiling. “That’s not it,” I said with certainty. They just didn’t understand. “I mean,” I rolled over onto my side so I was facing them. They didn’t bother looking up. “How would you feel if they kicked you out of your home to have someone over? Huh?”

Aaliyah snorted. Jade looked at me, pitying. “Chaos,” she said gently. “We know all about that.”

“You do remember that we got left behind by Kuryo twice?” said Aaliyah curtly. “And he just comes back with Charr and they’ve got all this backstory together?”

“Y-yeah?” I whined, feeling like my misery should still outweigh theirs

“Well, we understand that, but what you’re feeling is jealousy,” said Jade primly. “And you need to get over it.”

“I got thrown out of my house!” I wailed, flinging an arm up to the ceiling.

“Chaos, you moved in uninvited,” said Aaliyah. “You should probably get your own place.”

“No,” said Jade. “They said you could live there so it’s your home too but -” and she paused after that heavy ‘but’. I wilted.

“You know,” Jade said slowly. “Charr and Kuryo went through stuff together. They have this whole dimension stuff going on with them. We,” she swung a pencil between us three. “We’re not a part of that. It’s none of our business, really. So that’s the only reason they asked you to leave. I’m sure if you talked it over with Kuryo he will have a great explanation for you.”

“He could be trying to keep you safe,” said Aaliyah flatly.

I heaved a sigh, knowing that they were right. Kuryo loved me. He loved Charr too. He did not love those two look-alikes who had been in the apartment. Something was definitely going down now, I was sure of it but – I checked my phone again. No messages and it had been an hour. I dropped my arm and phone down with a clunk.

“Anyone else want coffee?” I moaned loudly.

“Sure,” they said in unison.


Kuryo POV

“So which god is it?” Kay was asking. He was sitting beside the pregnant Charr (I’m going to call her Cat for simplicity’s sake) and holding her hand. Charr (mine!) was standing beside me.

“It’s called ‘god’,” I said happily, thinking of how overjoyed Chaos would be once I told them. “And it’s not just any. It’s the biggest. The strongest, the one who ruled this other dimension almost completely. They’re a big deal!” I stood and pulled my phone from my pocket. “I’m going to call Chaos, they’re going to be able to tell you all about it-”

“No!” Cat and Kay cried out. I froze, then lowered my phone.

“Why?” I asked softly. The two exchanged a panicked look.

“We can’t have anyone know we’re here,” Kay blurted.

I glanced to Charr. “But,” I said. “Chaos already saw you two. They know you’re here.”

“Just – no!” said Cat heavily.

“Okay,” I pocketed my phone. Held up my hands to show that I’d surrendered that idea. “But why? What’s- what else is going on?”

Kay and Cat exchanged another silent glance. They squeezed each other’s hands. “I need you to come with me,” said Kay.

“What? No?” Traveling was over! No more! Him and I- last time hadn’t gone so well.

“Please,” Kay said in a most un-Kay way. “I need to show you something. Come on,” and he rose, offering a hand.

Now it was my turn to look at Charr in a silent way. What should I do?

Well, part of me was all ‘this isn’t my mess’! But the rest of me took one look at the pregnant Cat and, yeah, this was partly my mess.

“Okay,” I sighed, stepping forward. “I don’t have my necklace anymore though. I can’t travel.”

“That’s okay,” and Kay drew a silver device from his pocket. “Here,” and he seized my wrist. “We’ll be right back,” and he nodded to Cat. Cat nodded back, an understanding in her eyes, her hands rubbing her stomach.

Kay flicked a switch on the device, and the world jolted. We slid through a dimension, stars shining around us – and we landed in a dark space. Well. Space as in, we were in a dark circle for a flooring and stars jotting around us. Where the hell were we?

I looked to Kay, who was fidgeting with the machine. “What is that?” I asked. Was it from the Rebellion?

It was odd because in the last times we’d met, Kay had been so obsessed about gaining my powers – and now he’d found a machine to do that? Glad he’d found a way without killing me but… Where was it from?

Kay looked up at me sharply. “Just shut your mouth,” he said.

And that was the last thing I remembered. The world turned black.

Chaos’s POV

It was late at night, practically the middle of the fucking night, when my phone rang. I floundered, drawing the phone from my pocket and sticking it to my ear as fast as I could.

“Hey?” I groaned.

“Hello,” said an automated voice. “This is Cheezy McCheese bank calling you. We’ve noticed you’re late on your credit card payments-”

“Jesus!” I swore, hanging up. I’d forgotten again! No fuckin’ problem, I could pay them tomorrow, just… I swung up to a seated position. The apartment was dark. AJ had gone to their beds. A blanket had been draped over me. What fucking time was it?

I looked around. What time indeed? I checked my phone. Midnight? And still no call? No text? No message on any social media platform whatsoever?

I wanted to throw my phone against the wall. Cursing as hard as I could, I lay back down on the couch.

It was in the morning that I woke up again. Light was streaming in from the living room window. AJ were both up, drinking coffees.

“There’s no messages,” Aaliyah said flatly from the table as I sat up. “Did you get anything?”

I checked my phone again. “No,” I groaned.

Jade frowned from the other side of the table. “Pretty sure they should have said something by now.”

I double checked my phone. There was a group chat we had called “The ‘Cule’” and sure enough, neither Kuryo nor Charr had posted since yesterday afternoon.

“I have a bad feeling,” I said out loud.

The two looked at me. Both were frowning. Both were having the same feeling.

“I’ll go check on them,” I said, rising to my feet.

“We’ll go with you,” said Aaliyah.

And so we did. After a very fast walk through flurrying snow, we practically ran up the flights of stairs to the apartment. There I unlocked the door – and we all tumbled in at the same time, rushing each other.

I smelt it first. “There’s blood.” I announced.

“Right there,” said Aaliyah, pointing to a large patch of it that was half dried in the living room. It was exactly where the pregnant Charr from the other dimension had been sitting. There was dried coffee next to it, and a shattered mug.

“Oh no, no, no,” Jade was muttering, holding her head in her hands.

“This is not good,” said Aaliyah.

“Uh,” I said, so verbose. In my head, there was a storm going on. I shouldn’t have left them alone with those creeps. I should have stuck around. I should – go searching for them immediately!

“We’ve got to find them,” I blurted out.

“Yeah? How?” Aaliyah snapped, turning on me.

I bit my lip. Ran my hands through my hair. Picked up a necklace and chewed the metal crucifix.

I hadn’t the slightest idea of what to do.

Author’s Rant (spoilers!)

Awwwh yeah! I just posted the latest chapter in Chaos &Kuryo’s story, and I couldn’t be more excited about it! That little baby is about to be the center of the story, I can just feel it. And watch Chaos be super protective of it. Watch everyone try and protect it. I’m actually wondering if Kuryo body-swaps with Charr. I admit, I thought it would have been super fun for the badguys to show up and shit break out -> and Kuryo spends half the story being a pregnant woman. Heheheh.

But hey – Kay  did mention that someone was trying to kill it, right? Exciting, exciting! I wonder who that could be?! No, seriously, I wonder. Lucifer’s off in his own dimension and busy quelling rebellions and establishing his rule. He’s not dimension hopping last time I checked. My bet is that this has got something to do with the Academy.

For those of you (all of you, really) who don’t know anything about the Academy (because I haven’t posted it yet, duh), shit’s about to get real, haha. I’m totally going to be breathing life back into that old badguy, I’m just not sure how yet. Are they the one chasing after baby God, or…? Someone else? Hmmm…

This also brings me to another point. There will definitely be dimension-jumping coming in, as this story is set in that universe I dreamed up last winter. You might remember it if you’ve been reading my blog a lot. It involves medieval christianity and aliens. Yes, aliens.

So yeah, our characters are about to go get chucked into that world. Why? How? All that remains to be found out, but one thing is for certain! -> We are going to meet Chaos’s other dimensional self! Ohhhh yeah, I’m looking forward to this! I don’t want to tell you, because I want it to be such a surprise for everyone, but yussssss. There will be lots of Chaos in this novel, make no mistake. Much fun will be had with their guilt about destroying God, too. Muah hah hah.

Anyways! Despite all my cheer, I’ve not been doing so well, so forgive me if there’s not a lot of posting going on lately/in the near future. I’m still under the weather, but hopefully on the upstreak again. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and managed to do the dishes today as a small victory. So yeah.

I wish you all the very best! lots of love to you all!

Chaos & Kuryo (Novel 3) Chapter Two, Part One

Kuryo’s POV

I walked into the apartment with a clear mind. A calm soul.

Alright, part of me wanted to freak but – I was me. I had defeated the Academy. I could take this.

Then I saw my other self.

Kay looked older. His hair had grown out and he had gained muscle mass. But there was still that resting bitch face. He was standing with his arms crossed, planted between Charr and – a very pregnant Charr in a black dress.

I figured that was a good place to start. Considering that a) she was actually still alive in this reality and b) the baby and her had both made it.

“You’re pregnant!” I cheered, dropping my bag to the ground and stepping forward. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” that Charr and Kay said, deadpan and without cheer. My Charr gave me a warning look, but I wasn’t sure what it meant. So I walked into the living room and leaned on the counter that split it from the kitchen. “So?” I asked.

“I’m pregnant,” said Charr, stating the obvious.

“Congrats,” I said, gesturing at her with a fake grin. Something was wrong. Her and Kay had been wanting a baby, last dimension ago. Hadn’t they?

A look of meaning was passed between that Charr, Kay, my Charr, and then to me and then – to Chaos. Who was standing beside me with a bright smile, completely missing out on the gravity of the situation.

Charr form this dimension cleared her throat. “Chaos, maybe you could go to AJ’s?”

You know things are bad when she used that dumb acronym. Chaos’s cheery face fell into dismay. I nodded. “Why don’t you?”

Trust Chaos to take a hint like a sledgehammer of drama. “But I’m part of the situation too!” They wailed. “I’m not just -”

“Just go,” snapped Kay.

“Please,” I whispered.

Chaos stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him. I sensed that I’d get an earful of this later. But that was another battle. For now, I looked around expectantly. All eyes landed on Charr, the pregnant one.

“I’m pregnant,” she announced.

“Con-grats?” I offered for what, the third time?

Kay and her speared me with their eyes. “I’m not the dad,” Kay announced angrily. “I can’t be.”

“Well, yeah,” I muttered awkwardly. I was trans, Kay was trans, it seemed to be a cross-dimensional thing. But uh? So?

The pregnant Charr gave me a nasty look. “I don’t know who else it could be,” she said savagely.

Well this uh, “Okay?” I managed, glancing at my Charr. Help? This sounded like a couple’s fight about to break out?

“They don’t know who the baby came from,” said my Charr calmly. “And someone’s trying to kill it.”

“It’s not a normal baby!” the pregnant Charr hissed. “I can hear it thinking!”

“Wait, wait, someone’s trying to kill it?” I asked.

“The baby is special!” Charr-from-another-dimension began crowing, in an anxious and wound up kind of way. Her arms wrapped around her belly. “It’s got powers!”

“Uh-” I said.

“I think it’s evil,” said Kay flatly. “And we think it might be from the Academy.”

The pregnant Charr burst into tears.

“Uh,” I said, awkward as could be.

“If you could-” Charr was trying to catch her breath as she sobbed. Tissues were passed along and she took one. Then two. “If you could feel the baby! You can tell us who it is?”

I just stood there. That Charr pointed at herself. “Come into my body! Feel it! Tell me who it is!”

I glanced at my Charr, who made a non-committal face. “Okay?” I said gingerly. “I uh,”

Kay, now perched beside Charr, glared at me like I had better hop to it and do it, and do it well. Or he’d butcher me.

So I did. I stepped gingerly to Charr’s side and sat on the armrest of the couch. I put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m just gonna,” I said softly.

“Do it!” she fairly yelled at me.

I stretched a part of myself into her. The presence that radiated from within her was nearly overwhelming. How I hadn’t felt it before- it was dormant was why. It wasn’t fully awakened. But it was there, powerful and present.

It didn’t take a genius’s head to recognize it. I drew back as quickly as I could, slipping wholly back into my body.

“It’s not the Academy,” I said with relief.

For a second, I swore I saw Kay smile. Charr exhaled, a hand resting on her stomach.

“Then who is it?” asked the other Charr from the kitchen.

I grinned at her. Chaos was going to be so happy. “It’s God.”

Chaos & Kuryo (Novel 3) Chapter One, Part One

“Chaos?” I asked, peering into the bedroom. Oh, they were there alright. Chaos was spread-eagle on the bed, flat on their back and snoring away like a demon. I rolled my eyes and walked in. “Chaos!” I had to shake their shoulder. So much for ‘warrior reflexes’. This lump couldn’t be woken up by a bomb!

“Hnh?” Chaos opened their eyes, blinking sleepily. They wiped some drool from the corner of their mouth. “Whut?”

I forced a smile on. “It’s your turn to make supper and -”

“Why don’t we order out?” was the oh-so-predictable offer. “My treat-”

“Chaos!” I snapped, suddenly on edge. “I have an exam tomorrow! Charr is busy too! You have to do your part! Cook! Supper!”

“Jesus on a stick!” Chaos was sitting up and rubbing their eyes, hair a mess. “Okay okay!”

“And it better not be those pre made rice cans, those are for emergencies only!”

“Okay, okay,” Chaos grumbled. “Just let me wake up.”

“Don’t spend all night doing that,” I snapped before turning and walking away.

Out in the living room, Charr mouthed me a ‘thank you’. We high-fived silently. I sat back down on the floor, pouring over the books and notes I’d spread over the coffee table. Charr was studying too, but was in less of a crunch than I was. At least supper was happening.

Life with Chaos in it was, surprisingly, not too chaotic. Chaos had taken a few weeks to get adjusted, but now they had a fake ID, worked a job in a coffee shop, and didn’t bust out the ‘warrior moves’ except in a martial arts class they’d fallen in love with. They were aspiring to become a teacher one day, once they worked their way through the belt system. Which, honestly, was fine with the rest of us. Chaos did their thing, and was now a happy and functioning member of society. Did we mention the happy part? Yeah, life was good.

Really, the only hiccup in this whole scheme was getting Chaos properly introduced to the whole poly lifestyle.

Now, polyamory wasn’t exactly the most common lifestyle in the world we were living in. It was quite trendy in student villages, but people tended to say they ‘outgrew’ it. Well our ‘cule was hopefully a little different.

Aaliyah and Jade lived in their own apartment, strictly friends. Me and Charr had been happily nesting together as lovers before Chaos butted in. Now Chaos lived with us (their pile of clothes in the bedroom showed that, really, we didn’t quite all fit in here), but no, it wasn’t an endless storm of threesomes. How would Charr and I get any studying done like that? No, Charr and I were ‘going out’ and Chaos and I were ‘going out’ but so far neither Chaos nor Charr had the slightest interest in each other. Actually, Chaos had very little interest in anyone else in the ‘cule besides friendship. Which, by the way, was plenty. Chaos had a thing or two to learn about keeping friends on the good side of themselves.

“Are they coming over tonight?” Chaos asked as they shuffled out of the bedroom and into the tiny living room. They were dressed in black jeans and a metal t-shirt, somehow making the outfit look as rumpled as possible. Oh, and can we take a minute to applaud all of us in this ‘cule? We’d gotten Chaos to get a decent haircut. Now they had a mess of spikes that actually suited them and wasn’t any outlandish color. The doofus had wanted orange. Orange! But anyways.

“Who’s ‘they’?” I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer.

“AJ,” they said, using that awful self-invented acronym for Aaliyah and Jade. Who, by the way, Chaos shipped as a couple. Chaos was just sure they needed to break the ice and they’d start making out instantly. I told Chaos they were missing the point of friendship and, hey, here we go again. Chaos being bad at understanding friendships. The poor idiot was raised too lonely.

“No,” I said just as Charr said “Yes.” Charr and I looked at each other. We both snatched up our phones and checked our messages.

“Aaliyah said ‘no’,” I said.

“But Jade said ‘yes’?” Charr said, sounding alarmed. “That’s weird.”

Chaos banged a pot, then their head on the cupboard. A bunch of ‘jesus on a stick’s later, Chaos appeared in the living room. “Why’s that weird?”

I typed away at my phone, not answering right away. Charr was doing the same. Both of us were asking how Aaliyah was doing. Being a home-body, Aaliyah rarely went to parties. But she hated staying home alone, was still slightly jealous of missing out on any ‘cule fun, and so she tended to stick around whenever Jade came over. Alright, the two were inseparable in their own way. Jade was all peppy and Aaliyah all sober but they worked, you know?

The apartment door tried to swing open, snagging on the chain. It drew back shut and there was a banging on the door. “Open up!” called in Jade.

Chaos swore as me and Charr yelled at them to stop putting the chain on the door. How was Jade and Aaliyah supposed to get in here with the chain on?

“Demons!” said Chaos. “I’m telling you, someday someone is going to try and break into here -”

“And a chain is not going to stop them!” said Jade as she bustled in. There was snowflakes on her knitted hat and cowl, and she had her backpack on and a bag on her side. “Hey everyone!”

“Hey,” said Charr in her usual monotone as I rose to get my kiss from Jade.

“Hey, we were just messaging you,” I said as Jade nuzzled into my neck happily. I gingerly hugged her but damn, the outside of her coat was cold and snow was about to fall in my face. “Is Aaliyah okay?”

“Uh, well,” Jade drew back and began unwinding her cowl. “You know.” She pulled off her hat, making a fuss of dusting off the snow.

“She’s on her period?” asked Chaos bluntly.

We all shot Chaos looks. Thanks, buddy, for being that ice-breaker. Not. “How’s supper coming?” I asked sharply.

Chaos gave me a murderous look. “In hell we had cooks,” and they slammed a cupboard shut and began fussing in another cupboard.

Jade was now wrestling out of her coat with her backpack dangling on an arm. She writhed and wrestled and I went to help her.

“So uh?” I asked quietly as I helped Jade. “What happened?” Was she hesitant to talk because of Chaos? Maybe I could send them out on a grocery run or something if it was serious.

Jade made a face. Then she shrugged. Then she made another face. “I’m not sure,” was what she finally said.

“Oh come on!” Chaos yelled from the kitchen. Everyone jumped. Then, much quieter, there was a “Sorry. Pinched myself. Nevermind.”

Jade frowned. “You doing okay in there?”

“No,” the oh so great warrior wailed, coming to terms with their mortality when faced with a can opener. I, however, caught Jade by the arm before she could run away into the kitchen.

“What happened?” I asked softly. “Should I be worried?”

Jade made a face.

“She’s coming over!” Charr called out from the living room. “I got to her.”

More like, you harassed her until she gave in, but “Good!” I exclaimed, relieved. If Aaliyah was leaving her bedroom, it wasn’t depression (which she had had before) nor was it a serious period cramp. Maybe it was not that big of a deal?

Chaos is Back!

Y’all, I am SO EXCITED right now! After writing in the ‘Attack of the White Clouds’, I spent an hour or so trying my very bestest to work on another story I’ve had ideas for. Then BOOM! I realized that this story was a continuation of Kuryo’s story. Ergo -> Chaos’s story too!

BOOM! I pulled out an open office document (because I’m indie like that, I don’t like using word) and began typing. And typing. And now, ladies and gentlemen and folks in-between… Chaos is back! And so is Kuryo! And the whole polycule! And really, I’m just so excited! It seems as if, so far, if it all goes as planned, the whole ‘cule will be there for this novel! YAY!

Anyways, just to drum up some suspense, I’ve scheduled the first snippet to be posted tomorrow. So grab a friend! Tag a friend! Share this post! And get ready for MORE CHAOS!