Author Copies!

Guess who just ordered author copies for the giveaway? Me! And it was quite the adventure!

You see, due to covid or some other blasted reason, I wasnt technically able to order author copies. Bevause those seem to go through the states. I had to go through amazon.ca and but them… at full price! Ech! Yuck! Thankfully it was the first time I ever bought something on Amazon (I know, I’m a rare breed) so I had free shipping otherwise this would NOT have been possible!

So this author is so excited! I cant wait!

Also, if you’re excited too and don’t know how to help out… drop a comment! I am gathering folks who want to help me spread the word for the giveaway, and I have goodies in store for anyone who helps out! You will get to participate in the giveaway as well, so you can get double goodies if you win! So drop a comment and I will contact you!

Now I’m going to rest and knit, finally casting off on a complicated sock I’ve been stalling on. I cast it on at the beginning of this pandemic and I’m just finishing the first one tonight!

Have a good night everyone, lots of love to y’all 🥰

The calf portion of the sock!

Chaos Returns! YAYYYY!!!! (SPOILERS)

I’m supposed to be following up on general advice and my own ideas and -> taking a rest. But I don’t feel like it. I just want to write! And today, I’m proud to say that I managed to write some of Chaos’s story! So exciting! Will I write more? Will I do more in another novel? I’m not sure, but I don’t feel like stopping writing! I want more!

I’m so so pleased to have gotten over my writing block in Chaos’ story. It really bothered me not to be able to keep going with that story. Now, I have been able to start writing Ranger’s story, but it’s just not the same. I want to finish Chaos’ novel at some point, and I really enjoy writing it! I especially want y’all to have something fun to read!

Anyways, I really hope you all enjoyed Chaos’ latest installment. I just realized that book three is now over 43,000 words! Wow, it should be reaching it’s climax soon! I wonder if this is the last book in the series? I really wonder (I have no idea! Seriously!).

Right now, I’m wondering what’s going to  happen to Charr. We haven’t heard from her in like, ever. Plus, there’s that extra Kuryo that went vanishing with Suzy. And now (I think) Chaos and the world-killer are about to have a show-down! Which (gasp!) if Chaos succeeds  – does that mean that Chaos inherits the world-weaving powers? *poof* mind blown!

I’m not sure if that is going to happen, but it definitely gets my gears turning up there! And I’m still debating (hoping!) that somehow, in some way, Kuryo is going to make a comeback. I’m going to be so upset if he doesn’t.

Anyways, I hope you all have a lovely day and lots of love ❤ Take care y’all!

“My Name is Chaos 2”; Chapter One, Part Two

“You don’t look so hot,” said one of the team members as she sat down next to me. I was sitting on the three steps that led into the barracks, and badly wanted a cigarette. What? Think death sticks aren’t available in hell?

“I’m cold,” I snapped, though it absolutely wasn’t the case. We’d just finished doing the days’ push-ups and running around, but I just wanted to sit and think. Alone. Which, pointedly, was not happening.

“Really? It’s not that cold today,” she said, looking around at the snow piles around the barracks. Grouchily, I had to admit that it was no longer ‘freeze in your nostrils cold’, being merely ‘freeze the toes off’ cold. Friggin’ weather.

“It was sarcastic,” I grumbled. “I’m just-” and I shrugged.

“Oh,” she said as if that was a shocker. What? Did they all think that I had a resting grouch face?

Then, to my shock, she put an arm around my shoulder. “Chipper up! It’ going to work out! What’s the problem?” and she gave me a tight squeeze.

I glared at her. Hugs were just not a thing in hell → unless you were Lucifer. But were those hugs nice? No. But she didn’t get the hint. So I heaved a sigh. “I want to go home,” I grumbled lamely, because I wasn’t sure how to explain the giant mess I was in. My girlfriend was a psycho, I’d betrayed my family, and I was trapped by the military. By FoxFace in particular.

“Oh,” and she gave me another squeeze/rattle that was supposed to be comforting. “We all do, you know. But if we don’t do this, there won ‘t be a home for anyone, you know?”

I grumbled and didn’t want to listen. Sure, whatever. Poor humans pity poo poo. I wanted my mess to be over with. At least they didn’t have to deal with all the stuff that was happening to me.

She had a genuine smile on when I glanced at her. “It can’t be that different for you,” she was saying. “Is it?”

Girl, you have NO IDEA, I wanted to yell. But something clicked in my head. Bella did want to destroy the Pure Lands. I did have to do this to take care of those Buddhas and that lovely place.

So I squared my shoulders, mustered myself together. I could mope about my seeming eternity of servitude later. Right now, I had a girlfriend to save, and the Pure Lands to keep pure. A lot of stuff to do, really!

And hey, something would probably go screwy in FoxFace’s plans regarding me. That’s just the way things seemed to be going.

So I smiled at my war-buddy. “You’re right,” I said cheerfully.

I mean shit, things couldn’t get much worse, could they?

////

They day we were set to captured Bella, you could feel it in the air that something was brewing. Did Bella know? Was she waiting for us with bated breath? I could imagine her, standing there with a hand on her hip and that leash in hand, just waiting for me to show up.

Of course it was a stupid vision. Bella wouldn’t stand that long if she could sit and be regal. And what would she do with the leash? Whip me? Come on, Chaos.

But still, as we all geared up I was nervous. This was Bella we were talking about! My girlfriend – and then, only then, as I was putting on a chest-piece of bullet proof armor, did I think that hey, maybe she didn’t think of us as a thing anymore.

I almost dropped the armor.

Rattling myself mentally, I went back to putting all this crap on. A fellow soldier checked me over, we all nodded at each other, and we were ready.

My heart was hammering in my throat as we entered the lab in single file, all decked out in our gear and with vizors on. I just had the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong. Like, really, really, wrong.

As we lined up in the room with blinding lights I realized I’d forgotten to roll my new dice. Great, Chaos. Good job, dumbass.

One by one, we were given a pill.

“It’s new!” Leo was saying happily. “The pill should reduce the nausea effects and allow us for greater precision as to your transport!”

We all swallowed dutifully. Then, “Good luck,” said Leo as he flicked a switch that was attached to his tablet. The room lurched.

How the hell that tablet worked was beyond me. But the next thing I knew I was zooming through the void, and reapparating – in a living room.

“Jesus on a fucking stick,” I cursed as I spun and recognized Bella’s living room – and the dozen or so rifles pointed directly at me. Held by vampires, of course.

Look to the left- look to the right – I didn’t need to look fucking up and down to see my team was nowhere to be seen. I held my hands out. “Good job,” I congratulated both Bella and Leo under my breath.

A high pitched laugh rewarded me. Bella was at the opposite end of the living room, directly behind the line of her cronies. Safe, as usual.

“Choas, so nice of you to drop by,” she said callously. Then she burst out in laughter.

I didn’t know what to do. So I just stood there, hands out and wondering how this had gone so, so, utterly bad.

“I don’t think your new boss understands how magic works,” Bella drawled as she stepped forward. Then, with a gleeful grin from Bella, I felt a ripple through the room. She had sent a silent message.

In that split second, I could have zapped myself away with FoxFace’s sigil. But something stopped me. Bella was right there! So close!

I wanted to stay with her.

And so I was thudded full like a pincushion full of flying needles. One or two jammed in my throat, the rest (courtesy of the vampire’s poor aim) landing in my armor.

The room swerved and the floor smacked up the meet me. But hey, this time I was padded with armor and a helmet so it didn’t really hurt. But right before the darkness took over, I noticed something.

Through the mass of vampires, there was someone standing beside Bella. Someone who was tethered to her via leash. They had deep blue hair.

/////

I came to feeling pissed off. Angry and hurt in a terrible way. Of course I remembered why the instant I opened my eyes: the problem was right there. Bella, with a new slave at her side.

Yeah, he was older than me by a fuckin’ year or two, had a pretty face, was paler than me by two shades, and had a lovely tilt to his large eyes. Probably from some east asian pantheon or something.

Oh yeah, and What the Hell? He was wearing a collar just like I used to, complete with the little bottle of blood on it. He was even wearing black, like me!

I wanted to bust his face in. He looked bored. Like he couldn’t give a crap about where he was, or what was happening. How dare he?

I, on the other hand, must have been turning all the shades of purple and pissed off. I was strapped down (Again?!) to some sort of table. This must be the laboratory in their center, because the room felt, looked, and smelt clinical.

“Hey Chaos,” Bella cooed. I melted as she stepped forward to stand by my side. Her fingers trailed down my cheek to cup my chin. Then her nails dug in. I winced, but really, I didn’t totally mind the pain. It was the look in her eye that bothered me. She looked sad, miserable even.

“You could have stayed away, you know,” she whispered.

“They sent me,” I whispered hoarsely. “I have no choice.” And she knew that!

Bella smiled softly. It broke my heart, and I was sure hers was breaking too. “I love you,” she whispered before stooping over me.

We kissed. At my side, her fingers caressed down my hand and our fingers laced together.

For an idiotic flutter of a moment, I thought everything was going to be okay. We were together now, right?

Abso-fucking-lutely wrong.

Bella drew back with a satisfied smile to her lips. “Send her away,” she said, the order not intended for me at all.

The other one, the me-replacement, stepped forward. I gave him a dirty look but he didn’t look likehe cared two bits. He just stepped to my side, then turned to Bella who was walking away. “Where to?” he asked, and damn! He even had a nice voice. Fucking not fair.

Bella whirled towards him. “Where you came from, you idiot! Do I have to tell you everything twice? Just do it!”

Version 2.0 tilted their head to the side in acceptance. They lifted their arms above me, then closed their eyes.

I was expecting a spell. Fireworks and impressive displays. I was hoping for failure of the most spectacular kind, though. For their magic to not match up to mine.

Instead, I felt my very soul being seized in a firm grip. Then, with a jolt, I was catapulted through space.

Like, really! It was full-out trippy and better yet worse than any traveling I’d ever done through a portal. I was whole, but whizzing through galaxies and dimensions and I felt immortal and timeless and –

Wham. I landed in a soft fluff.

My eyes opened and there was a ceiling. I was in a bed. And beside me, laying serenely in pillows and blankets with a small smile on, was a woman.

“My Name is Chaos”; Chapter Sixteen Part One

I half-invented some more. “The bone is for burial. To summon her. You know.”

FoxFace peered closer at me. “Really?”

I nodded. “Oh yeah.”

She did not look convinced. “And why should we give it to you?”

I tried to shrug. Nonchalance, nonchalance. “Because,” I said slowly, hoping something smart would just fall out of my mouth. No such thing did. I just waited on myself, and nothing came. Foxface raised her eyebrows.

“Because?” She looked like she was trying not to laugh at me.

I sighed. “Look, do you want Bella lurking around or do you want to give her to me? Consider your choices.” I thought it was maybe a good deal. Foxface obviously did not.

She laughed, peals of laughter just coming out of her. Even Leo looked amused.

“What?” I snarked, but I had the nasty feeling that yeah, I looked dumb. That was humiliating. That didn’t sit well with me – but it wasn’t sitting well with Bella either.

I felt it like a hard coil within me that was expanding, rage taking more and more space. Then, like a cold voice within, complete with a memory of Bella’s angry smile, I heard her voice.

“Free yourself, and wreck this place. Teach them a lesson.”

The order was like a cool salve. I felt awake, but subdued. Alert, but calm. Her grip over me was palpable, but it was comforting.

“What?” asked Foxface.

“Nothing,” I lied.

“You look different,” she said, drawing out a tool that looked like card reader. She handed it to Leo who pointed it at me. There was a loud beeping sound and their eyebrows rose. “Fluctuating levels,” Leo mumbled.

“Do it.” Bella ordered within me. “Now. Free yourself.”

Abruptly I realized that my failure was a humiliation to her. I must succeed, for her.

I had no weapons on me, no more necklaces. I was dressed, but my jacket was piled on a nearby chair. Closing my eyes, I felt my power. I felt Bella. And through her, the power she had granted me.

I felt myself speaking, but the words were silent. I felt myself slipping into that strange state that only Bella brought on. The ecstacy was near, like I was skating on the edge of a cliff.

There was a shout. Still reciting, I opened my eyes. I could hardly see through the haze of my mind, through the drifting closer to the unviersal truths, but there was Leo, clutching his head. There was a dazed and shocked look about him. FoxFace was gripping his shoulders and shakign him. Then, she whirled to snatch up a needle.

Why wasn’t she affected?, flicked through my mind before I realized what she was going to do. Subdue me. Another needle was in her hand.

Free me! I ordered Leo, channeling the words with will at him.

In a lurch Leo did. He flung himself between FoxFace and I, smashing down a button. All bonds jumped free. I scrambled up in a smooth glide, feeling like I was Bella’s puppet just as much as Leo was mine and we were all connected htrough a string that tied back to Bella. It was oddly satisfying, feeling Bella’s grip over me. I felt so much more powerful.

But there wasn’t time to dwell on it. I darted around the table, retreiving my swords and necklaces. FoxFace was gawking, stepping back with a gun in hand. My weapons slashed out. The closest machine exploded in a shower of sparks. Leo hung limply on the place, awaiting my next orders as I rounded on them.

“Now trash this place,” Bella’s will forged through me, demanding results.

And trash that place I did. FoxFace had pressed an emergency button but I was on fire. My power was rippling out through me. I moved like water over oil, letting out a wave of magic that exploded, burning and destroying as it went. Leo alone I spared, willing him to survive it.

As smoke filled the room a door hissed open and soldiers rushed in. Feathered needles flew towards me. I dodged, and cut the soldiers down one by one. Mercilessly I hacked my way forward, my vision a red blurr as I moved on and on.

I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew where I was when I found it. Bella’s body was there, in pieces, about this room. In a haze, I knew what to do. Collect the pieces. Injest them.

I smashed the jars down, kicked open drawers, and laid it all in a mess on the floor. Soldiers would be coming soon, I felt them streaming down the hallway, but this was primordial. This was it.

Within moments the room was a mangled mess, bloody bits strewn here and there, and I was drenched in a haze of magic, drunk on it. I didn’t know what I was doing or I would have been repulsed by the room and this gory mess.

Instead I felt Bella through me, in me, unifying through me. Her voice through mine, her heart beating in time with me. Power drove through me in near orgasmic waves. I couldn’t think, was only a puppet that was repeating, doing.

Then, abruptly, I collapsed into darkness. I found myself on all fours in smears of blood and shards of glass, mind reeling from the absence of magic, the void of Bella within me.

I did see the gun hovering before my face though. Beyond, I saw FoxFace, furious.

Then the world turned black.

Grateful doesn’t mean Painless

I’ve had a shit day. Not that anything bad has happened, but that I’m exhausted emotionally from less than pleasant private things (thankfully nothing wrong in my own home, so don’t worry) that have brought me down to a point of exhaustion. I was barely able to do anything today, being so tired that I just wanted to cry.

Now, self pity isn’t the point of this post. I got myself feeling better and just a few minutes ago I was reflecting on it. My thought process went like this “oh I live in such a lovely home, shame on me for feeling bad when I live in such a nice place, I should be more grateful and maybe one day I’ll regret not being happy enough”. To which I did a double take.

Wait, what? Gratefulness does not erase pain, be it emotional or physical. Sure, your mindset can make things more palatable and you can have good coping mechanisms. But when I practice gratitude, I usually end up just feeling guilty. Oh, I am grateful, but I feel guilty for still being in pain when I have such lovely things.

Because here’s the thing -> stuff and situations won’t erase your mental illness. They can help, but to erase it completely? It would have to be nirvana in my opinion.

So yes, gratitude is great and all, but it won’t heal you. And being grateful is not the polar opposite of mental anguish. You can be both grateful and in pain, the two do not exclude each other.

So don’t think you’re not grateful enough because you’re in pain. Being in pain is not a sign you’re not grateful enough. Appreciate what you have, but don’t burden yourself with the concept that good mental habits (like gratefulness, positive thinking) means no mental illness. They’re not the same.

Cute cat to cheer up your day!

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Five, Part Two

Hi everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m doing well, that things are nice on my side of the world. 🙂 I just upped my testosterone, and my voice is breaking/deepening! I just hosted a very nice full moon ritual too, so I’m happy. I have so many ideas for this story, and really can’t wait to share it all with you! Surprises are coming! Do please comment if you read, I love chatting about my stories and seeing people read and enjoy it really boosts my day!

I wish you all a lovely day ❤

///

The vampires stared at me. Snowflakes fluttered left and right. It was cold, and I was fucking freezing, okay? So I stamped my feet and cursed.

No, they couldn’t just ‘bring me in because I gave a pretty speech’. They were smarter than that. So the big dude was on a tiny cellphone, holding up one arm in the air, then the other.

“Your body is not a channeling wire,” I hissed as he tried standing on one leg to reach higher.

“The reception here is bad,” he said to me as if I hadn’t already concluded that. Then he waved his arm around again, trying to literally ‘catch’ the signal, maybe?

The scientist shuffled next to me, hugging his lab coat around himself. “By the way,” he said , prodding me with an elbow. “My name is Leo.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, completely ignoring him.

“Don’t just ditch me somewhere,” he hissed between his teeth. Whoah, reading my mind much?

I glared at him. “I don’t owe you anything.”

He gave me a hard look. “No, you owe me your life.”

“Do not.”

He blinked slowly. The icy wind blew between us. He looked every bit as frustrated as someone standing in the cold, realizing they’d just hinged their lives on → me. Chaos. I lived up to my name, okay?

“I was going to escape one way or another,” I said dryly, looking back around at the bundled up vampires. Some had taken hermitage back within their car. Others still tried to keep up their menacing auras while huddling like penguins.

“You- oh for fuck’s sake,” grumbled Leo. “You were literally about to become little bits in a petri dish. I saved you. Now the deal was-”

“So sad, don’t care,” I muttered. “Shut up.”

He looked ready to crack me one. I stalked past him, crunching through the snow to stand by the beefy guy who was now frowning down at his cellphone.

“Give me that,” I ordered.

The beefcake looked at me. He had removed his sunglasses due to the fact that it was (duh) dark out here. He looked somehow less menacing with pea-sized eyes. I held out my hand in a silent order.

To my surprise, the phone was put in my hand. “You got cellphone powers or what?” the beefcake asked.

“Yeah, check this out,” I said, turning away and chucking the dumb thing at arm’s length into the forest. Yeah! Great shot!

I turned back around, spreading my arms. “See? I made it disappear.”

The vampires gawked. Those who were still trying to look cool took off their sunglasses to make sure they’d seen it right.

“The phone,” moaned beefyMcbeefcake.

“Yeah, so,” I snapped. “Let’s go.”

The vampires gawked at me. I had the feeling I was missing something. Why such horror?

Then, faintly, I heard the phone ringing. The vampires launched into action. “Get It!” roared the beefcake. “The boss’s call can’t be missed!”

Oh. Shit. Way to endear myself to them.

So, yeah, I stood there like a goof while the horde of vampires vanished into the pine trees, scattering in bat form. A mere minute later, one returned, reappearing in humanoid form before the beefcake. She was wearing a snowsuit and really, only her nose was visible under that wool hat.

“Hello?” beefMcburgerarms answered the phone. “Yes, boss!” He turned a nasty eye to me, then to Mark and Leo. “We’ve found something. No, we haven’t captured the escaped hellion. But we found someone else. Do we bring them to you?”

I held my breath and wished for my dice. I’d have tossed it right then if –

“Okay, yes,” the beefy nodded. Then, with a surprised sound, he held the phone away from his ear. “oh,” he said softly. “She hung up.”

My skin crawled. “She?” I asked. Because, screw me, I didn’t get along well with females. Or women. Or really, anyone, but particularly not with women. Example in case: my fiancee. Who was right now probably crying to her daddy about how mean I was to her and blablabla.

But let’s focus back here. The vampires were staring at me like I was a sexist little shit.

“Yeah, so?” asked another woman vamp who was wearing a banana yellow coat that left no shape to her but a giant blob.

“I just,” I fished in my mind, trying to remember what female was in charge in the vampire legions. None came to mind. They usually were bald-headed guys with fangs who liked to speak dramatically. No women allowed in their dumb club.

So who was this leader?

I shrugged. “I’d love to meet her.”

The badguys snorted. “Sure you will. Get in the car.”

I looked at the already-cramped looking vehicle. And we weren’t all already in it yet. “Uh…”

Well, we fit. I spent the entire ride cramped on someone’s lap. Not so luckily, Leo was sitting in people’s footspace, and Mark had three vampires piled in his lap. No one was a happy camper.

At least I got to watch the scenery change as we drove on. The pine trees receded to give way to rolling fields and little farms that were all bundled up for winter. Then those faded away sharply, giving way to a pretty plain-looking city. It was all cubes and granite, with french street names that I couldn’t pronounce to save my life.

We turned on a road that was probably named after a croissant, and wham! The brakes went on.

“Fucking deer!” cursed the beefcake as we swerved on the silent road around a very still deer. A deer with blue eyes that stared straight at me through the windows.

Uh…

Luckily, there was no traffic, and we avoided the very much there ditch and electrical pole. Onwards we zoomed, vampires muttering about how hazardous this climate was- and I noticed that hey, there really was no traffic here. That and the deer had vanished.

We swerved, veered, and passed important-looking buildings in the center of town. The street lights weren’t working, the snow was piling thicker and thicker with no plow in sight, and I had the feeling that civilization under vampire rule had come to a stand-still.

Then we drew up to a house. A friggin’ house.

It was one of those cute oldsie victorian style houses, with frills and ruffles and the whole shingle thing going on. In this light, it was, well, dark with lighter highlights. Green and white maybe? Who knows? The important things was this: the driveway was shoveled neatly, baring the asphalt driveway.

Asphalt is very hard, I realized as the car doors were opened and I was gracelessly flung out.

“God dammit,” I hissed, cursing and rubbing my elbows. I rose to my feet as the vampires piled out around me, dragging Leo out by the scruff and prodding Mark on with knives.

We were ushered up onto the porch. Frilly curtains hid the interior of the house, but dim lights shone through. The beefcake cleared his throat, straightened his posture, and knocked on the door. In fact, all the vampires straightened their posture. Some even began put on their best smiles.

The door was opened by a maid in a frilly outfit and stockings and the whole deal. “Welcome,” she whispered, fang-less and lowering her gaze. Human. Ah.

She stepped aside, letting us all troop haughtily in. “The master is in the painting room,” she said in a hushed tone. She didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes as she began taking coats.

To my glee, the majority of the vampires stayed in the entry. Only two accompanied me and the beefcake as I was walked into the house.

And damn, it was a nice house. It was filled with all this polished wood and spiralling staircases and neat frames. Except when I double checked one frame, it wasn’t an oldsie picture of some victorian person, as would be expected. It was a Buddha, styled in black and white to suit the theme.

Rattling myself, I wondered what sort of bad guy/badgirl kept buddhas around. Well, I was about to find out, wasn’t I?

Up the imposing staircase, we were faced with a thick door. Beefy guy rapped his knuckles on it, straightening his posture again.

“Enter,” said a female voice.

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Five, Part One

Just like that, she said it. “And I’m Chaos’ fiancee.”

I wanted to die of humiliation. Ugh. I crossed my arms and glared her down. “You don’t own me. What are you even doing here?”

“Wait a minute,” said the scientist, scribbling away at his pad. “Fiancee? What’s your name? Who are you?”

“Al is my ‘presenting’ name. It’s what everyone calls me, and what most people can pronounce,” she said snottily. “And,” she pointed to one of the eagles on her coat. “I’m the daughter of the Thunderbird.”

Mark looked like his brain might have exploded. “Thunderbird?”

“Native mythology,” I said, just in case, oh I don’t know, “Which no one cares about!” Which absolutely wasn’t true and I knew it, but I had to throw something at her. My dad was famous! Hers was, well… not so famous. So I considered our engagement to be a step down in my life.

She grinned. “Oh yeah, I’m just a sad little twerp compared to,” and she gestured to me. “This thing.”

“Thing?” I squawked. “You-” but I stopped myself. There was the sound of a car coming down the road.

“Hide!” hissed the scientist.

“In this snow?” Al gestured to the foot of snow all around us. “They’ll just track you.”

“Got a better idea?” I hissed, knowing that, again, she was right.

She squared her shoulders. “Stnad your ground and face them ‘like a man’,” and then she burst into sniggers.

“Oh, very funny,” I sneered.

The car rounded the bend in the distance, lights coming into view. It wasn’t driving particularly fast. Did vampires drive fast? Did they speed? There were (surprisingly) no highways in hell, so I wasn’t sure where they got their driving skills from.

“Al, do you have a dice on you?” I hissed, fidgeting. Should we stay and fight? Run and fight? How could I tell?

“You lost your dice?” she asked, completely shocked. “Wow. This is going bad.”

“I didn’t lose it, someone took it from me!”

She made a face. “That’s even worse.”

I scowled. “You go rot. Do you have a dice or not?”

She shrugged. “Of course not. I’m not an addict like you.”

The car approached, slower and slower. Al kept herself planted before us, practically in the middle of the road. She looked at the car, daring it to run her down.

It didn’t. Whoever it was drew to a stop before it even bumped her highness’ legs.

Because that’s how things always were for her. Everyone was all ‘ooo, a wise spirit!’ or ‘ooo, such majesty’ or ‘ooo, so amazeballs’. She just had to exist and people worshipped her.

And here I was, busting my ass and everyone was calling me stupid.

I wanted to throw a snowball at her face. An ice-cold explosion across the face. Would serve her right.

But uh, the car was stopped. Vampires began piling out. And like, way more than was safely allowed in a car. There was almost ten of them that had been all squished up in that car.

At their head, a big beefy guy with a waxy shaved head stepped forward. “You kids lost or something?” he sneered at Al.

Al turned to me, imitating his sneer. “Yeah, you lost or something?”

“What?” she wasn’t on my side? What the hell, Al? Fiancee from hell, indeed!

“We uh,” I held up my freezing hands to my shoulders as if I was surrendering. Just to show I had no weapons. “Uh,”

Al grinned at me. What a jerk. Such a jerk.

Heyyyyy. She was a jerk, right? And she wasn’t supposed to be here, at all. Like, full nope on the nope-scale.

I tried not to grin. “We’re hunting a demon. You may have noticed it, it killed a bunch of spawns riding in a truck the other day.”

The frown on the chunk’s face told me that yeah, maybe?

I pointed to Al. “She’s right there. Help me catch her.”

“Wait, what?” Al looked from him to me and back again and back again. She pointed to her collarbone. “Did you just – I did not-”

Yeah, I threw her under that bus.

“Be careful,” I said to the vampires. “She’s a high-level demon. She just incarnated so she’s still really powerful-”

The vampires nodded. We were now working together. Like wolves on the prowl, they stepped out to encircle Al.

Al who, to her credit, wasn’t freaking and squealing. She merely adjusted her sunglasses. “I’m going to pay you back for this, kid,” she said.

“Bite me,” I snapped.

She clicked into action like a wound-up toy that had just been let free. Wham! Punch to the beefcake’s face! Double wham! Kick and punch another vamp! Then Yoink! Up she jumped, transforming in a blink into a golden eagle that was pumping its wings and rising up, up.

Several vampires lifted guns. Oh shit.

“No don’t!” I yelped, throwing myself forward. I flung my arms out, trying to block their aim. The large beef of a dude glared me down.

“What?” he barked.

“You don’t want to kill her, you want to capture her!” I invented.

There was a pause. I glanced back up. The eagle, aka Al, had vanished over the forest.

“You’d better have a good reason to have stopped us,” intoned the bald beef.

I lowered my arms. I smelt an opportunity. And who was I to turn that down? “Take me to your leader,” I said. Eyebrows were raised all around. The scientist cleared his throat softly. I repeated, louder this time. “Take me to your leader. I want to work with you. We need to catch this demon. We can join forces.”

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Four, Part One

“Now would be a good time for a plan,” said the scientist, chuckling nervously.

“I don’t need plans,” I balked, though I knew it was pointless. I really needed a plan. But you know what I needed more? A dice! I fished in my pockets but there was none to be found.

The car was slowing down.

“What are we doing?” roared Thor, looking around. “Do we try and bust through? We can’t, I see spikes on the road.”

“Uh, uh,” and I tried to come up with a plan. “Why don’t we just talk with them?”

And so, like a little weird family going to the drive-through, we pulled up to a stop at the vampire’s impromptu barricade. Thor and I rolled down our windows, playing it cool.

“Hey,” I said.

The vampires just stood and stared like they’d never seen the likes of this before. There were the spawns, spider-like with human heads, but there were also full-fledged vampires in human form. They were all bundled up in winter gear and one even had a hockey stick. They uh, looked significantly less impressive without all their leather gear on.

But what do you expect? Hell spawns to not need winter gear? Please, I was freezing and I was from a different level of hell than them.

One vampire stepped forward. She was wearing a puffy grey winter coat that hung to her thighs, a knit black hat, and had beady dark eyes and a pointed chin. “What?” she demanded.

I couldn’t resist. “Eh?” I asked, leaning out the window. After all, no hellspawn said ‘eh’. That was an obnoxious human thing, from this part of the world only. Did it work?

“I said! WHAT?” she yelled in my face. The baseball bat in her hand flew up menacingly.

Okay well, whatever. I blinked, wiping the spit from my cheeks. I played innocent. “Can we come through? Are you guys looking for someone or something?”

The vamp paused. “We are looking for someone. But that’s none of your business. What are you doing here?”

I turned to Thor. “This is my older brother. We got busted doing one of your deliveries, so we’re coming through on the way to recon with his boss or something.”

The vampire sucked on her teeth, looking around the car. “And the dude in the back?”

“A hostage,” I said cheerfully. “We’re bringing him in. Says he got some info or something.”

I could almost hear the scientist in the back sweating, that’s how nervous he looked in the rearview mirror as the vampire scowled at him. But she thumped a fist on the side of the car. “Okay. You can go.”

Thor looked ready to crap himself. I nodded. “Thanks.”

The vampire stepped away from the car and began ordering the barricade moved. Within minutes it was moved and we were sifting through.

“Wow,” muttered Thor as we began slowly driving on. “You did that.”

“Oh yeah,” I muttered like it was no big deal.

Thor gave me a look. “So you’re the Grim Reaper’s son?”

“Child,” I corrected him. “I’m non-binary.”

“Uh-huh,” grunted Thor. “That newfangled thing.”

“Actually, it’s not really new,” piped up the scientist.

“Yeah,” I snapped, kicking my boots up on the dashboard. “Besides, my genitals are none of anyone’s business.”

Thor shook his head, tapping a hand on the steering wheel. “So now what? We just keep driving until we find a sign saying ‘portal here’?”

I bit my lip. Yeah, true, but uh, I didn’t even know where we were. Like, I’d received some directions but ‘go straight past the blue house’ didn’t seem useful any more.

I picked up my pentacle and nibbled on it. After a moment of silence I spoke. “So,” and that’s as far as my thoughts got. I drew a blank. Ridiculous, really, but I didn’t know what to do or say next. We were just driving on this infernal road past zillions of pine trees that looked like the columns of hell.

But everyone was looking to me for directions.

“Gotta make sure we don’t run into werewolves,” I said nonchalantly, knowing full well there were no werewolves in this world. But did they know that? No. So I looked smart.

“How do we do that?” asked the scientist weakly.

Avoid looking sexily edible? Uh, well, “Stay out of the forest?” I suggested lamely. “We should hit a village or something soon so we can ask for directions-”

“Asking for directions? Really?” asked Thor. “That’s how lost you are?”

“What?” I bit back. “It can’t hurt?”

“Oi hey, dark denizens of doom, can ye tell me the way to hell?” asked Thor, putting on a terrible Irish accent. “Oi noes? You want to tell me to yoink myself? Oi really!”

“Oh shut up!” I snapped. “You don’t have a better idea!”

“That doesn’t mean your idea is good! One shit doesn’t downplay the fact the other shit is still shit!”

I was baffled. My idea wasn’t bad. I’d just talked to the vampires and see? It went well? “Don’t you trust me?” I demanded, deciding to pull the emotional card.

“No,” said everyone in the car. I heard an extra voice in here.

Paling, I turned around in my seat. There, next to the scientist, was a black shape with glowing green eyes.

“Hello, Chaos,” she whispered.

“My Name Is Chaos”: Chapter Three Part Two

I honestly don’t have much to say here except -> Thanks to everyone who reads and leaves comments! They totally make my day! Look forward to (possibly) some sketches of the (not so) fabulous trio coming soon!

///

Beyond the fire and flames, things calmed down ridiculously fast. No, there was no helicopters chasing after us. Not even cars. We were just zooming away through the hellish pine trees, skidding over the snow. The worst we encountered was a small snowdrift across the road.

“Are they not coming after us?” asked Thor, checking the rear view mirrors obsessively.

“Actually, I don’t think so,” said the scientist oh so calmly from the back seat. “We are in vampire territory, after all.”

I turned around in the seat and looked at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“It means that they can’t just send helicopters and armored vehicles into vampire land without it appearing as an invasion. So we’re technically safe,” he said with a cold smirk.

Thor gave me an ugly look. “You’re really dumb?”

I jabbed a finger at him. “Now lookit! I’m just not well versed in social affairs! I’m really good at – at -,” and there I floundered for a moment. I was far from the best fighter out there. I wasn’t the best magician. “I’m really good at art,” I mumbled dejectedly. The splattery kind.

Thor snorted. “That’s the kind of thing that won’t get you far in life.”

“So you wouldn’t classify yourself as a good fighter?” asked the scientist, drawing out a notepad from his pocket and scribbling at it.

“What are you doing, taking notes?” I gawked back at him. He nodded.

“Helps me remember. Now who would you classify as a good fighter?”

I snorted. “Ever gotten into a scrap with an archangel? Michael’s a good fighter.”

“Hmm, I see,” more scribbling ensued. “And should we be expecting to see those anytime soon?”

“Of course not!” I snapped before thinking. The Archangels stayed all stuffily in their holy world. The rest of us – well we just needed to fix this little problem. I folded my arms and sat back into my seat, refocusing. I had to get this done. And if we were heading into vampire territory, then things were going surprisingly well. “Hey, you two are going to help me out, right? I’ve got something I need to do.”

Scientist McNerdynerd took off his safety glasses and pocketed them. “And what would that be?”

I looked at Mark pleadingly. “You wanna help?” I fairly whined.

“What is it?” grumbled Mark.

I grinned and propped my feet up on te dashboard, feeling super proud and important. Becau-use… “I have been chosen to close the portal that the vampires are trying to open.”

“They’re trying to open a portal?” asked the scientist.

“To where?”

“To Hell, of course,” I said with a drawl. “They’re going to bring all their friends out here on earth. And maybe start Ragnarok by cracking open a seal that brings forth jesus’s ugly lamb-side.”

“Ragnarok?” asked Thor, eyeballing me. The scientist scribbled hastily away.

“Of course,” I drawled. “But we’re going to stop it. So no biggie.”

“Wait a minute, you’re just mixing hell, Ragnarok, and Archangel Michael together,” growled Thor. “You can’t just-”

“Oh yes I can,” I sniggered, lifting my pentacle pendant to nibble on it.

“Am I to assume all mythology to be accurate in some form?” asked the scientist as he scribbled away.

I shrugged, holding up my pentacle before myself. It glinted in the moonlight. There was no rule against divulging to humans what they already knew, was there? “Sure,” I said nonchalantly. Then, after a pause I said “Ancient mythology. There isn’t any great flying spaghetti monster.”

“And why,” the scientist started, but Thor cut him off.

“And who are you? Huh? Vampire spawn?”

Oh right, he didn’t know. Lazily I brushed my hair from my face. “I’m the grim reaper’s child.”

Another angry glare. “And so?”

That – was not the response I’d been looking for. Grovelling? Anyone?

“I’m the grim reaper’s child!” I fairly yelled. “A little respect here?”

“You’ll find that lineage bears little weight in contemporary Canadian culture,” said mister nerd in the back seat.

“Lineage is important!” I snapped, glaring from one scowling Thor to the nerd. “It gives you your powers!”

“And Lucifer went from angel to bad guy,” snapped Thor. “So go shove it!”

“Lucifer’s pretty cool,” I grumbled. “Or do you mean Satan? Both pretty cool.”

“Should we be worried about meeting them-”

“No!” I yelled, turning on him. What, didhe want the whole cavalry to show up? This was not some experiment! “Look, this is a relatively discreet thing – we don’t want everyone to show up. It’s just me, and now you two as well. Okay?”

“Closing a portal?” asked the scientist. “That sounds fairly simple.”

“Where is this portal?” growled Mark.
I gave him a cheesy grin. “Where else? In the middle of vamp-land.”

“The latitude and longitude middle, or the theoretical middle? Or the middle of their largest city?”

I turned around in the seat and glared at him. “Which do you think?” I asked saucily while my mind raced. Now that he mentioned it… I’d always just assumed ‘the middle’ meant the middle of their largest city.

“I’d assume theoretical middle,” he said.

“But which is it?” Thor asked, thumping a hand on the steering wheel. “And what’s the plan?”

“Well I think it’s in the middle of their city,” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and throwing myself back against my chair. “And do we need a plan?”

There was a dead silence in the car.

“You don’t have a plan?” the scientist whispered so quietly it was almost drowned out by the sound of snow crunching under the tires.

“You don’t have a plan,” cursed Thor.

I bit my lower lip. Was it really a problem?

“No wonder you got caught,” murmured the scientist in awe.

I slunk lower down in my seat, biting my pentacle pendant. These people just didn’t understand me. I would show them. This mission was easy. I was going to succeed, and easily at that. The beginning was just a hiccup. All I had to do was –

Thor cursed loudly. “Vamps,” he said, pointing ahead.

Indeed, vamps. As in, a full blockade of the things, complete with machine guns and baseball bats.

“Were they expecting us?” I asked, shocked.

“Now would be a good time for a plan,” said the scientist, chuckling nervously.

“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Two Part Two

Here you go lovelies! Sorry for the delay, and remember -> comments feed the author! Feel free to share, comment, and tell your friends about it 🙂 Every little bit makes me very happy!

///

Alright, time to escape. I fingered my pentacle, then bit on it softly. More like a nibble. Not that it mattered. FoxFace had walked out of the interrogation room. I was now alone, staring at the mirror/window through which who knew how many people were observing me. Or maybe no one. Really, my guess was all I had – because I didn’t have a dice to tell me anything. Grump.

Grumps aside, now was me time. Time to shine. I could imagine myself busting out of here like a badass, sword blazing and eyes glowing with magic.

I had a half-ass plan. Aside from just chopping down whatever was in my path – well, I intended to follow the exit signs? Yeah, that was good. This should work.

I bit on the edge of my pentacle again, wishing for my dice. It was a lot easier to start a fight when you knew you would win.

But when had I lost a good fight anyways? I could totally do this.

Except I was taken by surprise when the door opened and FoxFace entered. I jumped. She was flanked by several beefy hulks who fanned out in the room around her. She strode forward, a little device in hand. It unlocked the chains around my wrists and ankles. Whooo, high tech chains.

But now I was free. With a smirk, I straightened. “Come this way,” she said, marching towards the door.

I bolted. Past her, out the door. I nearly ran into the second door. Oh shit! I whirled, fists lifting just as a whirr and thud- and a feather was sticking out of my chest.

“That was funny,” I head FoxFace saying as the world turned black around me.

Alright, alright, this was getting really irritating! I woke up with chains and cuffs on, strapped to a table.

“Fuck I’m sick of this!” I declared as I opened my eyes to glare around. Someone had better let me go or – or… I’d break my vows?

I seethed, wishing I had crossed my fingers or something when I’d vowed not to hurt humans. It was making this mission dangerously jeopardized… by the humans themselves!

I should have bolted and run before getting caught. That was it. Because now? Now I was in a laboratory. Blood-filled tubes came out of my arms. Electrodes were strapped to my chest. Lights glared from everywhere and there was test tubes and microscopes all around.

“It’s awake!” crooned a lanky dude that strolled over, snapping latex gloves on.

“I’ll spit on you if you touch me!” I snapped. That made him stop.

“Is your saliva venomous?” he asked cautiously, adjusting his safety glasses.

I didn’t answer but with a vicious grin. Would he take the risk?

He hummed and strolled away behind me. I twisted and squirmed, but couldn’t see what he was doing. There was a rustle, then he returned. I groaned, rolling my eyes at the hazardous material suit he was now wearing.

“Hello,” he said, waving a hand before my face.

“You look ridiculous!” I snapped.

“But you’re not spitting,” he said happily.

“Arlg!” I tried to kick but was restrained by the bonds. Cursing loudly, I squirmed and threw what basically amounted to a tantrum. He just stood there and watched.

When I was stilled, he said “Hi,” and waved again.

This time I spit. It landed on his helmet. His eyebrows raised. He wiped it off with a cotton swab that he placed in a petri dish on a little side table beside me. No kidding.

“So you speak English, I’ve been told?” he said slowly, now standing at my side.

“No,” I huffed. “I speak engrish.”

He chuckled. “That’s funny. Now,” he stooped to tap at my nose. “I’m going to tell you something. Only once. And if you say the wrong thing, you’re going to have an unfortunate accident in my lab. Got that?”

I blinked. Death? Oh good riddance, that would be humiliating. Hi dad, I’m back! So soon…

Taking my silence as a sort of agreement, he plucked up a syringe from a nearby table. “I’m going to pretend to continue doing my tests as we talk,” he said. “But this is just, uh, hydration for you. So don’t worry.”

I blinked at him as my arm was poked with the needle. “What do you want?”

“I want out,” he said simply. “I’ve, as some would say, gotten in too deep. And when you’re in ‘the bog’, there’s no actual getting out. But I want out. Get it?”

I squinted at him. He smiled. “Want to escape? Or you want to die here, on this table?” He drew the syringe from me and filled it with air. “Want to know what happens when you get air injected into your heart?”

“I don’t know how to get out of here,” I blurted.

“I’ll take you out,” he said. “But you’re taking me with you. You protect me. And we can rescue your boyfriend on the way out too.”

“My boyfriend? He’s eh, not my-” but I was blushing. Dammit!

“We’ll take him,” he said cheerfully, waving that syringe around. “And we can be a team!”

“Yeah, well, I fly solo,” I started.

He laughed. “Yeah you seem real effective at that. Look, I know lots. I got experience in the field. And I have a bag of stuff packed and ready to go that’s real useful. SO you ready my friend?” He picked up another syringe, then another. “Or do I let you wallow in your misery- and then kill you? ‘Cause we all know that’s how this is going to end. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience.”

I eyed the syringes. Was I really getting rescued by a mad scientist? “Fine,” I snapped. “But we rescue Thor, and you give me back my stuff.”

“Thor? Your friend?” he asked curiously.

“Doesn’t he look like Thor? From the movies?”

“Well I suppose. I’m not a huge movie person. More of a videogame player, myself,” he said, but he was pressing a button on the side of the table. With a snap my bonds opened. I sat up, and he handed me a bag with ‘caution’ taped all over it. “Here’s your stuff. Get dressed.”

Hastily, I did. It felt so good to have my stuff back! My bracelets, my necklaces, it was my identity! When I turned back around, he had the giant ridiculous suit off and was just in his lab coat and uniform beneath that. Oh, and a military duffel bag with medical patches all over it. He was still holding a syringe in his hand.

“What’s that for?” I asked, squinting at the syringe. It had a huge needle on it.

“For poking people with. Let’s go. We have a fifteen minute window.”