Grateful doesn’t mean Painless

I’ve had a shit day. Not that anything bad has happened, but that I’m exhausted emotionally from less than pleasant private things (thankfully nothing wrong in my own home, so don’t worry) that have brought me down to a point of exhaustion. I was barely able to do anything today, being so tired that I just wanted to cry.

Now, self pity isn’t the point of this post. I got myself feeling better and just a few minutes ago I was reflecting on it. My thought process went like this “oh I live in such a lovely home, shame on me for feeling bad when I live in such a nice place, I should be more grateful and maybe one day I’ll regret not being happy enough”. To which I did a double take.

Wait, what? Gratefulness does not erase pain, be it emotional or physical. Sure, your mindset can make things more palatable and you can have good coping mechanisms. But when I practice gratitude, I usually end up just feeling guilty. Oh, I am grateful, but I feel guilty for still being in pain when I have such lovely things.

Because here’s the thing -> stuff and situations won’t erase your mental illness. They can help, but to erase it completely? It would have to be nirvana in my opinion.

So yes, gratitude is great and all, but it won’t heal you. And being grateful is not the polar opposite of mental anguish. You can be both grateful and in pain, the two do not exclude each other.

So don’t think you’re not grateful enough because you’re in pain. Being in pain is not a sign you’re not grateful enough. Appreciate what you have, but don’t burden yourself with the concept that good mental habits (like gratefulness, positive thinking) means no mental illness. They’re not the same.

Cute cat to cheer up your day!

Life Hurts Right Now…

Hello everyone. I’m sad to say that I’ve almost given up on this blog. Yes, I’ve considered it a closed shop a few times now. And now… I just need to vent again.

Because huzzah! I might be going through another psychotic break (or something whatever else fun-fuckery).

So you might have wondered what I’ve been up to in these months I’ve been missing from this blog. Well, I’ve been active in the local pagan scene. I’ve been busy getting stabbed in the back, helping psychotic people, and trying to build community. All that seems to bring me the ire of local ‘established’ (commercialized, religion-selling,non-original, internet re-selling and plain dishonest) witches. But at least I helped one psychotic person feel like they’ve got someone to talk to. So that’s good.

Also good: I know am the proud owner of 500 business cards for my foundation, Starlight Pagan Family. It’s the first of it’s kind in my region, meaning it’s going to be a not-for-profit religious organization that’s pagan. WHAT?! YE MEAN IT’S NOT A WITCHE SHOPPE??!

Right. Because shops and selling shite is all we do, right? (haha, it rhymes)

But yeah, bitches. I made a not-for-profit, down-in the trenches and dirty foundation. We help people. We’re hosting rituals where the funds will go to homes for dying cancer patients. We are hosting a library of esoteric books (in my living room) so that people can research for FREE. Bitch, shit’s going to get DONE in my area. And eventually – I’mma build me a pagan abbey/temple space where people can be safe and worship and live if they want to. So there.

But you know what y’all? Shit’s gone down in my head. But I think that’s too long for one post. Next post y’all: how I converted to Islam.

 

 

“Well that was Predictable…”

Ladies and gentlemen! Beware, rant incoming! I know, I know, I try and keep this blog useful and on topic. Rants generally don’t have their place on my blog, or I try not to anyways. So if you don’t want to read a rant, look away. Otherwise enjoy the ride…

Because Holy Fuck people can be enraging.

Let me explain. I, inconspicuous and easily happy I, was thinking ‘oh hey, let’s go and meet some new people!’. Of course I meant online (who am I to meet people IRL, right? Ah ha ha, the thought of being actually sociable…).

And LO! Be-FUCKING-HOLD -> Idiots!

What did I do? How did I summon them? Did I do some Satanic sex magic ritual? Did I … I don’t know. I can’t think of doing something sufficiently stupid to summon this level of ignorance.

Because woe and woe upon me… I typed “gender neutral” into wordpress’ search bar.

W-O-E.

The first (FIRST, like what the HELL? No warning, no nothing!) FIRST article to pop up was *drumroll * infuriating. Forgive me, I read it. Me, all in a good mood, lackadaisying along and happily expecting some transgender inclusive happy morale-boosting self-affirming something pleasant to read.

“Well, that was predictable…” said one of my friends when I told them I’d fallen across a rampaging Christian religion-splaining about the woes of gender-neutral terms.

Allow me, grant me this pleasure, or dance with me, whatever you will… I’m going to rip this article apart. Because that’s what I do when I’m angry.

So! Behold! This is the article -> https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/72317554/posts/5463

And no, I am not asking anyone to spread hate upon this person. I just put the link there so anyone who is curious can read what I am talking about and judge for themselves.

This is my answer ->

One Angry Polytheist Wiccan’s response to “Introducing Gender-Neutral Pronouns. What Did We Expect?”

Well, straight off the bat, the article starts with a ‘y’all’, which I kind of like. I like ‘y’all’, and so I’m happily reading along as the author says that her local college tries to impliment gender-neutral pronouns. And then…

“They have basically invented these words as legitimate gender-neutral pronouns. 

These new “words” include “ne,” “ve,” “ey,” “ze,” and “hir.” ”

To which I say… uh, yeah. That’s how words happen. We invent them. You got a problem with that? Or just with invention in general?

Moving along…

“This pamphlet provides information for students on how to respectfully interact with their transgender classmates and it urges them to ask everyone which pronoun they would like to be referred by.

Oh my goodness, guys. I read that piece of information and the first thought I had was how badly that could backfire….

Just picture an acquaintance coming up to you and asking you this: 

“Hey, so do you want me to call you he, she, or you know like, ve, ne, or ey?”

That honestly seems like it would be a very awkward experience to me.”

No, actually, it’s not. It’s what we in the liberal community call ‘polite’. It’s basics. It’s respectful. Imagine being misgendered right off the bat by someone and having to correct them. Trust me, it’s embarrassing for everyone. Wouldn’t it be better if they simply were polite and did what they ought to do and simply ask?

Which, alright. At this point I can say “Ok, you just really aren’t used to being around gender-deviant people, are you?” and I can forgive someone not understanding the NEED (not want, NEED) for these sort of discussions in the public sphere. But then THIS had to be written.

“It really is sad. People believe this lie about who they are and where they find their identity, and something as concrete as the gender you are born with is no longer supposed to be concrete. People are being completely deceived, and this deception is being celebrated and normalized”

Uh… I had to reread this twice. I was like… wait a minute… and I reread it again… and then I was PISSED.

What the hell is sad about people affirming who they are based upon their brains’ innate needs? What is wrong about people being true to themselves, to what they know is their inner truth? And in case you never read a history book or looked at other cultures – gender has never been tied solely to what you were born as. Just look at some Native American cultures where gender was based upon a child’s choice of tools in a test. Just look at the vikings who had the ergi, castrated men who performed magic. Just… look at the world outside of your bubble and you’ll see it’s full of variety. Plus, you’re completely negating the existence of intersex people. They exist. They are mutilated and forced into fitting the gender binary at birth. How horrible is that?

But oh no! The real danger is worrying about an awkward conversation and brrr – new words (oh, what a horrid concept!). I remember that one hated figure who invented a whole wallop of words… what was his name… Hitler? No… Shakespeare! Hitler actually suppressed the LGBT community, by the way, as well as the mentally ill and epileptic  (but let’s not focus on the historic issues at hand here but rather on how un-com-for-tah-bul it is to have polite conversations!).

They continued by saying…

“No one is getting HELP. No one is being counseled. No one is being told the truth.”

Which I found really ironic, because the process of changing gender is commonly called ‘getting help’ and includes meeting with counselors and therapists, and facing your own inner truth. So when I read this I was really, really, confused. I seriously wondered if the author knew what she was talking about, or was trying to make double-entendre all over the place.

And then it got better (we hit the rotten core of this poop-fest!)

“Sin, right, wrong, and truth are taboo concepts in our culture. But as Christians we know they exist and we can’t go against what God’s Word says.”

Oh bugger. As someone who studied just a tad bit at university about the evolution of Christianity… I feel like asking ‘and what exactly do you think God’s word says’? Because, you know, it does seem to mean a whole lot of different things to a whole lot of different people. Do you believe that we ought to encourage the rape-marriages and slavery as is dictated in the Hebrew Bible? Or what? Because really, if we come to the facts of it all, it’s a text that was written and edited by people for political gain and power.

As a polytheist, I do believe that for the followers of this Yhwh-istic tradition meaning and inner truths can probably be found within a text held to be sacred for your deity. But to insist this text affect the lives of others? That’s just fucking rude. And the fact is that we live in a world of varied interpretations, varied UPG (unverifiable personal gnosis) and who know, maybe even aliens.

Of course, the author tried to end this all on a motivational note (HAH!)

“Speak the truth. Don’t jump on the bandwagon of accepting and embracing sin. We have to be emboldened by the Word of God and find our courage in His truth.

Even if the cost is far more than we want to give.”

Yeah. Because you, you cis-heteronormative person, you deal with harrassment on a daily basis just for being white and cis, don’t you? You literally get rocks and beer bottles thrown at you for the way you look. You have people debate whether you exist ‘according to god’s word’. You have almost an entire nation (I’m looking at you, US) rallying against transgender rights due to an angry orange-inado.

Because let’s focus on the real victims here. It’s not the people who were victims of the Holocaust for merely living according to their inner truths (transgenders, LGBT, Jews, etc), who have lived on the fringes of society for hundreds of years. It’s really, really, the mainstream Christians who are suffering because they’re being asked to be fucking polite.

Who knows? It might be the first time in their lives they’re being asked to do such a thing. Wow! How oppressive!

And you know what? If someone thinks I’m being rude about this article, I’m just going to quote the author and say “Introducing Gender-Neutral Pronouns. What Did We Expect?” Because what do you expect? Us to stand idly by as we are insulted, belittled, and told that we are against religious text? Oh, dear Lucifer, no!