While filming (and editing!) my next YouTube video, I thought, hey, I could make this into a blog post for all those folks who don’t like watching YouTube! So here it is… 10 Juicy Details about my novel!
- It all started with a dream… of someone shouting a name as a woke up. And something about a school. And maybe someone transforming into a crow. And maybe a weird principal. That was it though! Not a whole lot to base a novel off of, but I was possessed! I wanted to know who the name belonged to, and why they were being called! And so I began writing…
- How did I name my Main Character? Well, they were the one whose name was being called, so this should have been simple but it wasn’t? I thought their name might have been ‘Kuryo’, but as that was the place name for Korea (probably not a bright idea to leave it at that) I changed it to Kyrie, from the Christian prayer ‘Kyrie Eleison’.
- Was Kyrie based off anyone in particular. Yes! Me! I based Kyrie off of my own goofiness, but that was about it. I wanted to have a nice, sweet, and kind main character for once. I wanted a happy ending for a nice person.
- Worldbuilding? I didn’t do any ahead of time! I just slammed myself into the keyboard and let it develop from there! It was quite an interesting process, seeing how the world developed around the events.
- I had no idea what was the solution to the mystery for most of the novel. I knew I was building up to something, but what? I was quite confused most of the story about how it was going to end!
- The first book (Blue Crow Rising) was written after the second book, which (3/4 of it anyways) was written a year before. Then poof! The two magically worked out together! I was quite impressed.
- Kyrie was not always my favorite character while writing this series. There’s another character whom I shall refer to as ‘an older/different version of Kyrie’ who was way more compelling when they stepped into the story. I thought they were way niftier then, but now I’m back to liking Kyrie more.
- Almost all plot twists or events in the book came to me from dreams. I’d write until I had no idea what was happening next, then go to sleep wondering what I’d do. The next morning, I’d have had a dream about what to do. Really useful!
- People’s reaction to this story have been precious. One person was just like ‘What were you ON?!’ as in, the concept of the book was so… weird for them that they thought I was on drugs. I wasn’t, but hey! I guess that means it’s an interesting concept?
- My reaction to the story… I kept wondering where the fuck this story was going while writing it! I was like ‘this is going nowhere!’ or ‘it’s never going to end!’. To be honest, it was quite frustrating, not knowing at all where the story’s going, but I managed. It was fun, despite it all.
I hope this was entertaining, and that it makes you a tad bit curious about Kyrie’s story! Read along on my blog HERE, or buy it HERE.
Wishing you all a great day ❤
Yep, I’m excited. So excited. You might even get a third post today, because that’s how excited I am (but I’ll probably run out of steam before then). But!
The story is beginning to hit the fan! All the strange ideas I’ve been cooking up are coming through and I’m just so excited! Kuryo vs Kay vs V2 (who was formerly known as Kay) -> it just doesn’t get more confusing than that and I love it. I’m so excited for the ‘whodunnit’ aspect (because you know it’s not as simple as they think it is), as well as the ‘wtf does the pregnant Charr have to do with anything’ aspect. Which, aha!, if the little baby is baby God, then, why does the Academy want her? Ooo, if one Charr is pregnant with God, who does the other Charr have? Is the Charr that was kidnapped pregnant too? Gasp! Much mystery! Much action! Much drama!
Also, can we have a moment of sympathy for Chaos? Who spent about a year loving Kuryo, even spent some time in Kuryo’s body in the last novel -> and never realized Kuryo was transgender. Haha. Poor Chaos. Way to feel out of the loop. Which was exactly the point and it’s totally going to spawn more drama and I can’t wait! Poor Chaos. I really do love beating them up.
Anyways, it’s late and I’m tired (albeit excited, which makes for excited but sloppy writing) and I don’t really have much more to say other than “EEEEEEEE!!!” and flail my arms in excitement. I just can’t wait. I’m just so excited for this story. It’s fun!
Chaos! Everyone loved them, if the amount of discussion they garnered is a sign of things, hahaha. So what is there to say about them?
- How did Chaos begin? Well, Chaos was the central character in a dream I had, which just involved them being called ‘Chaos’ and being picked up by a trucker on the side of a road. Skimpy, right? I thought so. Which is why I was SO surprised when it actually began flowing and turning into a novel! I’m not even sure if their being the child of the grim reaper was part of the dream, but it might have been. And, really, that’s all I had. I didn’t know about their powers, their swords, or anything else. Just that it was a gothic-y teen, and their name. Yup.
- Influences in Chaos’ character? I really went with the ‘kid of the grim reaper’ thing and went full gothic on them, as much as I could.
- However, I was also inspired by my teenage times, when I literally could not be separated from a sweatshirt, even in the heat of Uganda in the summer. This, in turn, led to Chaos’ famous hunting jacket, which was the first coat I was able to pick out in my new modern life (after leaving the cult-ish setting I was raised in), a coat which was massively oversized for me but which I still have to this day. It’s so warm and fuzzy and full of awesome memories and I love it 🙂
- While writing Chaos, I was worried they were going to sound like Kuryo! This worry grew bigger as Kuryo himself entered the story and I was like ‘what if they’re the same?!’ after all, they both wear sweatshirts?! Haha! However, as Chaos’ character developed, I found them to be WAY different than Kuryo was in his story. Kuryo is much more mature, much calmer and far more sensible than Chaos ever is/might be. Also, Kuryo is definitely trans, while Chaos is more non-binary.
- What?! Kuryo is trans?! Let’s dedicate a point to this! Yes, Kuryo is trans. I was hoping to have a part where he tells it to Chaos, but it just never got worked into the story.
- But Chaos was literally ‘in’ Kuryo! How did they not notice?! This would be because Kuryo has had all the procedures (multiple surgeries) in order to transition and ease his dysphoria. Some would read this as being ‘fully’ transitioned, but lots of trans people consider themselves finished their transition without the surgery, for many reasons. So we try not to say ‘fully’ transitioned, btw. So this means that even naked, Kuryo would appear as a ‘normal’ cis male, minus some peculiar scars left over from surgeries (some of which can even be absolutely minor and easy to miss).
- But hormones! How did Kuryo not de-transition without injecting/taking pills every week/day? I’m not sure about trans women, but for trans men the injections can be every week, or every month or so (subcutaneous vs intra muscular). Kuryo, luckily, was taking them intra muscular and could endure the story’s length of time without missing out on his hormone injections. Also, even if you miss a week or so, the effects wouldn’t be dramatically visible to the casual observer. It would mainly be mood swings.
- I think this is the part about Chaos that I have received the most amount of questions about, and I think that’s understandable! Everyone wanted to know their pronouns, and what gender they were. Well, I’m still not sure. You see, one thing that my wifey dear keeps saying about me is that I have a skewed gender marker in my head. I like effeminate men and butch women. But I ‘know’ how gender is supposed to be performed. I’m just… skewed in my preferences. So this makes gendering my characters hard, because I’ll always want the men to be femme and the women butch. But that won’t always suit their personality! Another thing that really doesn’t help me sorting out a character’s gender is that I always question it. One of my favorite characters (in another story that hasn’t been released or written yet) started out as a prince in my head but ended up as a very butch, angry, and gender non-conforming cis-gendered princess. You see, one of my tricks to see if I am making character stereotypes is to swap their gender and see how that changes the character. Whatever sticks is who they ‘are’ and whatever leaves is just superfluous. But this can really screw an author in the head, no matter how helpful it can be.
- All that to say -> Chaos? I still don’t know! I don’t think they know! Definitely they’re AFAB (assigned female at birth) but their gender is ??? (author throws hands up in the air and shrugs). Are they secretly trans? I’d love that! But I don’t detect massive amounts of gender dysphoria or gender euphoria in the character, which would mean they might just be male-presenting, but not necessarily male as a gender.
- So what does this make their pronouns? I’mma say this makes their pronouns they/them. Certainly, it’s what Chaos seems to identify as, as they call themselves genderfluid/bigender.
- Chaos’s personality just flowed. As mentioned above, I tried to really go with the ‘child of the grim reaper’ thing, as well as a gothic trend. I was surprised when they came across as slightly spoiled and full of themselves, but I found that it fitted. After all, they would have been rather sheltered as a child, due to their parent’s secluded nature among the pantheons.
- There really weren’t that many influences to Chaos! The mullet was completely randomly inspired (but maybe my subconscious got the idea from a recent remake of ‘take on me’ by this young group where the lead singer had a mullet?), and I hated it, haha. When Chaos got a haircut I was like ‘yessss! Finally!’. I hated imagining someone with a mullet, haha. Especially neon orange and black. Like, seriously Chaos? Did you want to glow in the friggin’ dark or what?
Who they dated/fell in love with!
- Y’all probably didn’t notice this, but I was so rooting for FoxFace/Chaos. Yep, they were supposed to be a thing, but it just did not happen. After all, she was kind of dominant personality, a bit of a bitch too, but her heart was in the right place, unlike Bella. But it was not meant to be! One way that I knew it wasn’t meant to be was that I couldn’t draw them out together! It just wouldn’t work! And when I can’t draw it, chances are I can’t write it either, for some reason!
- But originally, Chaos was supposed to manage to ‘turn’ Bella’s personality. She was supposed to love Chaos enough that she decided to forego her fight against the Pure Lands and engage in healing herself.
- I’m glad this idea didn’t work out because -> the idea of ‘saving’ a loved one by the power of love alone is shit. It is the reason why so many people stay in abusive relationships! So I was like ‘ehhh, should I do this or no?’. I was torn about what it would represent and mean to my readers. So I’m glad that, despite all of Chaos’s love and devotion, Bella remained a bitch. Because that’s how nasty people usually remain despite having a loving partner: nasty. They’re the only ones who can choose to fix themselves, and unless they truly want to change, they won’t. You can’t love someone better.
- I’m so glad Chaos and Kuryo got together! I was shipping these two the moment Kuryo popped into the story, and am truly satisfied with the way things turned out. I think they’re a nice, sweet, and somehow still funky couple.
- I just wished there had been more ‘cule action. Really, Aaliyah and Jade were pointless. They popped in, got Chaos where he needed to be, and basically faded from the story. Blah. If there is a follow up (I hope there is!) I want more ‘cule action. Much more Charr (she’s badass!), much more Kuryo and Chaos, and much more Aaliyah and Jade.
Well, I think this is enough for one post, haha. I hope you all enjoyed reading about Chaos’s behind-the-scenes! If there is anything else that I didn’t mention that you’re curious about, do mention it! Is there a character you would like me to discuss next?