Grateful doesn’t mean Painless

I’ve had a shit day. Not that anything bad has happened, but that I’m exhausted emotionally from less than pleasant private things (thankfully nothing wrong in my own home, so don’t worry) that have brought me down to a point of exhaustion. I was barely able to do anything today, being so tired that I just wanted to cry.

Now, self pity isn’t the point of this post. I got myself feeling better and just a few minutes ago I was reflecting on it. My thought process went like this “oh I live in such a lovely home, shame on me for feeling bad when I live in such a nice place, I should be more grateful and maybe one day I’ll regret not being happy enough”. To which I did a double take.

Wait, what? Gratefulness does not erase pain, be it emotional or physical. Sure, your mindset can make things more palatable and you can have good coping mechanisms. But when I practice gratitude, I usually end up just feeling guilty. Oh, I am grateful, but I feel guilty for still being in pain when I have such lovely things.

Because here’s the thing -> stuff and situations won’t erase your mental illness. They can help, but to erase it completely? It would have to be nirvana in my opinion.

So yes, gratitude is great and all, but it won’t heal you. And being grateful is not the polar opposite of mental anguish. You can be both grateful and in pain, the two do not exclude each other.

So don’t think you’re not grateful enough because you’re in pain. Being in pain is not a sign you’re not grateful enough. Appreciate what you have, but don’t burden yourself with the concept that good mental habits (like gratefulness, positive thinking) means no mental illness. They’re not the same.

Cute cat to cheer up your day!

Manifesting Abundance

What a load of bullcrap. I have a deep-seated loathing towards ‘manifestation maniacs’, inspired by my own struggle with my daily thoughts. But, as the craze of ‘The Secret’ came and went, I started to cool off my anger and recently, I thought, hey, it’s ok. Just chill, you know?

And then!

When I wasn’t well lately, I called a local pastor simply to have someone to talk to about my problems. Well, did I get that tea! Literally, he took the opportunity and preached at me for about half an hour to nearly an hour. It was exhausting, victim-blaming, but what stuck with me was his notion that once I converted to Christianity all my problems would vanish and I would live ‘in abundance’. In short, I would have so much money and worldly comforts and my life would be easy peasy because God loves us and wants our lives to be nice.

Well, uh. Uhm. Have you noticed all the starving pious Christians world-wide? Like, if this was a matter of faith, I’m sure lots more Christians would be better off.

But here’s a thing. I despise how this ‘manifestation’ stuff so closely resembles this pastor’s bullcrap. It shifts the focus of spirituality onto physical wealth, under the guise of ‘abundance’. It frames physical wealth as a reward for spiritual success, blaming the poor for not being ‘spiritual enough’.

This ‘abundance’ stuff is basically just a wish to get wealthy. And people sell it, preying off of poor unsuspecting people who don’t realize that their focus is being shifted. Yes, to a degree, we can make our own worlds. We can control our minds. But why don’t we wish for good spiritual qualities, manifesting ourselves as kind, gentle, and peaceful instead of simply… wealthy?

I leave you with a post on the topic that inspired me to write this: HERE