I Asked! I Received! AKA I got a Dream! And a Life Update! So Much Happy!

Y’all, something happened to me that I’m just so excited about! Y’all, I got ANOTHER DREAM!

You see, after writing my post last night, when I went to bed I prayed to receive a dream to help me advance in the story. And it happened. I had an epic dream, bringing in elements I’d have never thought of before, completely explaining why I had a hard time drawing out the other main character (I was missing a giant part of his character!) and tying the two main characters together.

I hope no one out there is sick of hearing me rant about my dreams. They blow me away every time. To me, my dreams are always these freak ‘coincidences’ that prove to me that there’s something out there, listening and watching and paying attention to us. Having this kind of guidance when it comes to writing a) blows my mind, b) makes it easier to sort out the stories in unusual ways and c) makes me so happy I’m medicated.

I never got helping dreams before I medicated and got stable. It was always just nightmares, nightmares that made me afraid to go back to sleep. Y’all, I used to sleep only three to four hours a night for about two to three years, just because I was so terrified of my dreams and of nighttime in general. It was awful.

But you know what else happened to me the other day? It happened a little bit also last night, but not too strongly.

I started hearing voices as I fell asleep! And if anyone tells me I was shamanizing, I’mma hit you with a bucket. Because I was not. I was basically sleepwalking/dreaming awake/experiencing a form of sleep paralysis.

Being a good little person, I up and called my psychiatrist right away, and she called me back and assured me that unless it becomes recurring and causes other symptoms to return, it’s fine.

Y’all, it was terrifying. I was so afraid that all my progress was about to be undone, and that I’d be going back to hallucinating during the day and being anxious and incoherent all over and gah! It’s moments like those that I realize how precious my mental state is and how privileged and lucky I am to have come so far.

I mean, I’ve been able to start meditating! I’ve been praying devotionally for 15 ish minutes at a time 2- 3 times a day this week and (besides the sleep paralysis event) I’ve had no bad results! Y’all, that is HUGE!

I’m doing so much better, it really makes me happy, truly. It also makes me feel like I should do more to reach out and help other pagans who might be struggling, but, somehow, the better I get the less qualified I feel? I’m not sure why. I ‘know’ that what works for me won’t necessarily work for someone else, but I dunno, I feel like if I’m not struggling myself, I shouldn’t be telling others what to do.

Anyways, this has been a (lengthy) update post! I hope y’all are doing good and will have a lovely time of today! Much love and happiness to you all 🙂 ❤