Ugh. I have no good excuse/reason to feel so bad. It sucks. Yes, I had visit yesterday that was very excited, but that’s not enough to make me feel so bad usually. Today I had to call in said person again to help me with the dishes.
I was so excited to wake up today and do makeup. I had my glue sticks on the ready and was going to do a full drag face for the heck of it. And then boom. Bleh.
And I wasn’t even depressed. I was just so emotionally drained and exhausted mentally that I kept just wanting to curl up on the floor and not move. So, reinforcements making hot bread, I curled up before the TV and watched nature shows. Bleh. I don’t mind nature shows, but I really don’t enjoy not doing anything and watching TV. I like doing stuff.
So, tonight, after several episodes of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ (I switched from nature shows), I dragged myself up to my computer. Today’s episode of the story is courtesy of another day’s writing. All I did today was draw, and actually, the result isn’t too bad. I’m actually pretty pleased with it.
It has a lot of ‘bleh’-ness in it, is a sort of depressed piece. I think it fits the story (in the future) because, omg how is Kuryo going to cope with finding out that TWO of his girlfriends died while he was away? I mean, right now Chaos isn’t reacting very well. I don’t expect Kuryo to do too much better. I mean, he might not completely break down, but then again, he might just be the kind of high-functioning suffering person. This, I have to say, gets me a bit down. The story is taking such sad turns! I usually really like writing happy stuff and now the two main characters are going to end the story grieving and the third main character is just – Missing in Action? Will Charr survive mentally or is she gone into the Academy forever? Agh! I actually feel that I miss Charr so much when writing Kuryo. I keep thinking how she’d kick him into gear, organize him, and it makes me think that they really are quite a pair that depends upon each other for a bunch of their functioning. So yeah, it makes me down a bit because they’re missing and needing each other and whyyyyy are they apart. And then that makes me think again of how Kuryo is going to miss Aaliyah and Jade and bleh. 😦
It also makes me seriously wonder how this story is going to end. I’ve just had one idea, but that would be super sad. Another idea is also super sad. And how in the blazing hells am I going to get there? Augh! Frustration! I feel like the story is going to have some epic clash/struggle and I’m sort of dreading writing it. I mean, I’m just not seeing how I’ll weave all this in together.
Anyways, I guess that’s enough of a rant. I hope y’all will be taking lots of care and staying at home (alone!). I’ll try and keep writing and drawing, and hope y’all will enjoy! Take care 🙂