“My Name is Chaos”: Chapter Five, Part Two

Hi everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m doing well, that things are nice on my side of the world. 🙂 I just upped my testosterone, and my voice is breaking/deepening! I just hosted a very nice full moon ritual too, so I’m happy. I have so many ideas for this story, and really can’t wait to share it all with you! Surprises are coming! Do please comment if you read, I love chatting about my stories and seeing people read and enjoy it really boosts my day!

I wish you all a lovely day ❤

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The vampires stared at me. Snowflakes fluttered left and right. It was cold, and I was fucking freezing, okay? So I stamped my feet and cursed.

No, they couldn’t just ‘bring me in because I gave a pretty speech’. They were smarter than that. So the big dude was on a tiny cellphone, holding up one arm in the air, then the other.

“Your body is not a channeling wire,” I hissed as he tried standing on one leg to reach higher.

“The reception here is bad,” he said to me as if I hadn’t already concluded that. Then he waved his arm around again, trying to literally ‘catch’ the signal, maybe?

The scientist shuffled next to me, hugging his lab coat around himself. “By the way,” he said , prodding me with an elbow. “My name is Leo.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, completely ignoring him.

“Don’t just ditch me somewhere,” he hissed between his teeth. Whoah, reading my mind much?

I glared at him. “I don’t owe you anything.”

He gave me a hard look. “No, you owe me your life.”

“Do not.”

He blinked slowly. The icy wind blew between us. He looked every bit as frustrated as someone standing in the cold, realizing they’d just hinged their lives on → me. Chaos. I lived up to my name, okay?

“I was going to escape one way or another,” I said dryly, looking back around at the bundled up vampires. Some had taken hermitage back within their car. Others still tried to keep up their menacing auras while huddling like penguins.

“You- oh for fuck’s sake,” grumbled Leo. “You were literally about to become little bits in a petri dish. I saved you. Now the deal was-”

“So sad, don’t care,” I muttered. “Shut up.”

He looked ready to crack me one. I stalked past him, crunching through the snow to stand by the beefy guy who was now frowning down at his cellphone.

“Give me that,” I ordered.

The beefcake looked at me. He had removed his sunglasses due to the fact that it was (duh) dark out here. He looked somehow less menacing with pea-sized eyes. I held out my hand in a silent order.

To my surprise, the phone was put in my hand. “You got cellphone powers or what?” the beefcake asked.

“Yeah, check this out,” I said, turning away and chucking the dumb thing at arm’s length into the forest. Yeah! Great shot!

I turned back around, spreading my arms. “See? I made it disappear.”

The vampires gawked. Those who were still trying to look cool took off their sunglasses to make sure they’d seen it right.

“The phone,” moaned beefyMcbeefcake.

“Yeah, so,” I snapped. “Let’s go.”

The vampires gawked at me. I had the feeling I was missing something. Why such horror?

Then, faintly, I heard the phone ringing. The vampires launched into action. “Get It!” roared the beefcake. “The boss’s call can’t be missed!”

Oh. Shit. Way to endear myself to them.

So, yeah, I stood there like a goof while the horde of vampires vanished into the pine trees, scattering in bat form. A mere minute later, one returned, reappearing in humanoid form before the beefcake. She was wearing a snowsuit and really, only her nose was visible under that wool hat.

“Hello?” beefMcburgerarms answered the phone. “Yes, boss!” He turned a nasty eye to me, then to Mark and Leo. “We’ve found something. No, we haven’t captured the escaped hellion. But we found someone else. Do we bring them to you?”

I held my breath and wished for my dice. I’d have tossed it right then if –

“Okay, yes,” the beefy nodded. Then, with a surprised sound, he held the phone away from his ear. “oh,” he said softly. “She hung up.”

My skin crawled. “She?” I asked. Because, screw me, I didn’t get along well with females. Or women. Or really, anyone, but particularly not with women. Example in case: my fiancee. Who was right now probably crying to her daddy about how mean I was to her and blablabla.

But let’s focus back here. The vampires were staring at me like I was a sexist little shit.

“Yeah, so?” asked another woman vamp who was wearing a banana yellow coat that left no shape to her but a giant blob.

“I just,” I fished in my mind, trying to remember what female was in charge in the vampire legions. None came to mind. They usually were bald-headed guys with fangs who liked to speak dramatically. No women allowed in their dumb club.

So who was this leader?

I shrugged. “I’d love to meet her.”

The badguys snorted. “Sure you will. Get in the car.”

I looked at the already-cramped looking vehicle. And we weren’t all already in it yet. “Uh…”

Well, we fit. I spent the entire ride cramped on someone’s lap. Not so luckily, Leo was sitting in people’s footspace, and Mark had three vampires piled in his lap. No one was a happy camper.

At least I got to watch the scenery change as we drove on. The pine trees receded to give way to rolling fields and little farms that were all bundled up for winter. Then those faded away sharply, giving way to a pretty plain-looking city. It was all cubes and granite, with french street names that I couldn’t pronounce to save my life.

We turned on a road that was probably named after a croissant, and wham! The brakes went on.

“Fucking deer!” cursed the beefcake as we swerved on the silent road around a very still deer. A deer with blue eyes that stared straight at me through the windows.

Uh…

Luckily, there was no traffic, and we avoided the very much there ditch and electrical pole. Onwards we zoomed, vampires muttering about how hazardous this climate was- and I noticed that hey, there really was no traffic here. That and the deer had vanished.

We swerved, veered, and passed important-looking buildings in the center of town. The street lights weren’t working, the snow was piling thicker and thicker with no plow in sight, and I had the feeling that civilization under vampire rule had come to a stand-still.

Then we drew up to a house. A friggin’ house.

It was one of those cute oldsie victorian style houses, with frills and ruffles and the whole shingle thing going on. In this light, it was, well, dark with lighter highlights. Green and white maybe? Who knows? The important things was this: the driveway was shoveled neatly, baring the asphalt driveway.

Asphalt is very hard, I realized as the car doors were opened and I was gracelessly flung out.

“God dammit,” I hissed, cursing and rubbing my elbows. I rose to my feet as the vampires piled out around me, dragging Leo out by the scruff and prodding Mark on with knives.

We were ushered up onto the porch. Frilly curtains hid the interior of the house, but dim lights shone through. The beefcake cleared his throat, straightened his posture, and knocked on the door. In fact, all the vampires straightened their posture. Some even began put on their best smiles.

The door was opened by a maid in a frilly outfit and stockings and the whole deal. “Welcome,” she whispered, fang-less and lowering her gaze. Human. Ah.

She stepped aside, letting us all troop haughtily in. “The master is in the painting room,” she said in a hushed tone. She didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes as she began taking coats.

To my glee, the majority of the vampires stayed in the entry. Only two accompanied me and the beefcake as I was walked into the house.

And damn, it was a nice house. It was filled with all this polished wood and spiralling staircases and neat frames. Except when I double checked one frame, it wasn’t an oldsie picture of some victorian person, as would be expected. It was a Buddha, styled in black and white to suit the theme.

Rattling myself, I wondered what sort of bad guy/badgirl kept buddhas around. Well, I was about to find out, wasn’t I?

Up the imposing staircase, we were faced with a thick door. Beefy guy rapped his knuckles on it, straightening his posture again.

“Enter,” said a female voice.