This is it y’all. It has happened. I’ve had One Functional Day. (Cue cheers and whistles going off. Yayyy!)
Selfishly, I want to stick around on my blog and brag. I mean, look at me! I was able to get dressed sensibly, get out of the house for a minor walk, clean minimally, even cook and eat some healthy meals – all while not feeling overwhelmed or falling into a pit of despair!
Full disclaimer: I actually texted friends to brag about doing my dishes and picking up my floor. I was so excited I almost sent pictures and videos (but that’d be real crazy, right?)
It’s in moments like this that I find myself realizing how incapacitated I can be. How difficult living with a mental illness is. When successfully doing the basics feels like it warrants an award… it warrants a step back.
Now, what could possibly have brought about such a sudden and impromptu good day? Were my stars in retrograde (or whatever phase they’re supposed to be in for good things to happen). Did I wake up in the proper runic hour? Did I do my chakra cleansing just right?
Well, no. But- wait for me here.
You see, I had a major downspiral. Me and my doctor agreed for me to start a new medication. At first it had gone well, then not so much. And a funny thing began to happen.
I didn’t want to take this medication anymore. I literally could crave my other ones like a vegan craves protein, but this one? Nope. I couldn’t help but notice how nasty it tasted. How much of a bother one more pill was.
Then my wife gently pointed out that it wasn’t really helping any more. It had at first, but it seemed like its time was up. So we called the pharmacy and arranged for me to stop it. It was supposed to take two whole weeks!
And then I had a dream where someone was convincing me to stop the pills faster. I woke up convinced that I was going to stop it faster, with a complete ‘how to stop’ gameplan in my head.
Not trusting myself, I used my trustiest pair of tarot cards. I made sure that I was not in an episode, that my dog was not signalling before I read. They told me, very clearly, to follow my intuition.
And it worked. And now I feel great.
Bazinga, folks! Spirituality and medication at work together. The medication had (at first) given me a much needed boost to get out of my down-spiral. When its time was up, the gods/spirits used their powers to give me hints on how to recuperate and which medication to cut (because I only wanted to stop that one). Now here’s what I’m especially proud of: I listened (yay!) because they obviously distinguished their message from my common symptoms.
- Even though I hallucinate smells and tastes, I do not have compulsions regarding not taking foods. I often still want to eat the food despite it tasting horrible (because I’m usually hungry, k?). Furthermore, my taste hallucinations last for a short period of time. My avoidance of the pills was therefore not a symptom but a signal from my body.
- I may have nightmares and night terrors, but my hallucinations and anxieties rarely bring me messages in my dreams. This was completely new.
- Finally, my fail-safe plan was my tarot cards. Though I’ve often gotten high anxiety prior to tarot readings, that is the most that my symptoms mingle with tarot. I quite literally go by what’s written and so that leaves little room for compulsions to step in. However, I have never noticed having compulsions/irrational thoughts and idea related to tarot. Nevertheless, I used my tools (service dog) and made sure I was in a rational decision-making state when I read them.
Furthermore, I have to point out that while realizing that I was doing good today due to the medication stabilizing properly, I did everything I possibly could to stay stable. Spirituality kicked in there as well. I used my spiritual beliefs to avoid toxic people. I burnt incense when I felt like I wasn’t feeling so good anymore.
But what brought about this amazing day was a result of both spiritual guidance, and properly dosed medication.
Either way, it worked. And I wanted to share my experience with all of you to show just how the two can co-mingle in one’s life and to prove that it is possible!
Anyone else have thoughts on this? Have you had a positive experience of spirituality and medication balancing together? I’d love to hear about it!